A simple question, the answer to which will bring you closer to happiness

More than 70 years ago, in the Dachau concentration camp, the great psychiatrist Viktor Frankl solved a difficult problem. In inhuman, unbearable conditions for the body and soul, he was looking for an answer to the question of how not to break either himself or the hundreds of people around him. And Frankl found it. The answer that became the leitmotif of his whole life, left as a legacy to all mankind. It sounds capacious and at the same time simple: “meaning”. To live, you need to understand why.

The explosions died down, the gas chambers were razed to the ground, compared to those times we live in almost sanatorium conditions. But depression has not disappeared, the number of suicides is growing, and hopeless boredom flashes in the eyes of thousands of well-fed dressed people.

Why? The meaning is lost, and the meaning is the root of everything. More and more powerful cures for despondency can be invented. You can attend all available courses to combat laziness and procrastination. You can upgrade your time management and personal efficiency skills. Only if the answer to the question “why” is not found, the problem will not be solved. Heavy massive walls built using the best methods will collapse, unable to hold on without a foundation.

Here is Masha. She is about thirty. Marketer in a large company: interesting work, stable income, career prospects. Married, three year old daughter. Yoga twice a week. Vacation twice a year: “five-star” at sea and a trip to the European capital. Weekend at the children’s entertainment center. Once a month shopping and Thai massage. With all this prosperous life – an extinct look. When asked about the meaning, Masha will start up: “Well, how about it: work, you need to raise a daughter, see the world.”

And that’s right, there is only one catch. Machine answers sound like memorized cliches, born not from the heart, but from the head. Beautiful and correct, but not her own.

Working as a marketer? I went because it is prestigious and the salary is high. Now how to leave? I have to admit that I was wrong and spent my best years on an unloved business. Yoga twice a week because it’s trendy. The soul wants to spin in a waltz! But the waltz does not fit into the schedule. And anyway, what a waltz …

Raising a daughter? This is the meaning so the meaning, you can not argue. But does she really feel it? Here she is, daughter. She goes to the kindergarten, in the evenings Masha reads a book to her, sometimes plays … Only Masha’s heart sleeps. Does not beat with all his might when he sees a gentle curl over his ear. Does not admire the head tilted over the toy. Not torn apart to give her all the love that is hidden in him.

But there, in the Machine’s heart, there are so many treasures! Dig them up, rake them up, take a look. So that all affection, tenderness, care poured from there. For a daughter, for a husband, for those near and far, for this world. But while the heart sleeps. Work, home, Turkey “five stars” … There is no main meaning, there is no contagious power that inspires to live to the fullest.

Why are meanings needed? Meaning is the foundation, the root, but it is also the fuel. No one ever does anything for nothing. Ruthlessly eradicated laziness is always for some reason: most often it protects us from ourselves, from unnecessary actions imposed from outside.

In the life of any person there is such a huge stratification of one’s own and someone else’s that it is impossible to sort it out. Drowning “his” under the rubble of alluvium, goes into a shaky quagmire of public opinion, advice from parents and the demands of superiors. Instead, only fatigue, an extinct look and a strange unwillingness to do seemingly important and obvious things come.

A simple example: I want to bake pies, but I’m always lazy. I look deep into: “Ah, so this is a neighbor baking pies! It smells delicious on the site, the husband passes, sighs furtively, so I dreamed about pies. But not because the soul demands, but because I envy my neighbor. It seems that I want baking, but in fact I don’t need this, someone else’s, superficial. ”

You can, of course, sign up for the course “How to stop being lazy and start doing”, but it is only a struggle with the investigation, and the root is different: the soul does not have an answer to the question “why”. So it does not push the mind and body, does not make it move. The way out is simple: it is worth finding “one’s own” that resonates inside, and strength will come, and mountains will be rolled up in a jiffy.

Among us, of course, there are people who not only ask themselves the question “why”, but also honestly answer it:

• Why do I field the beds in the country? Because my mother taught me, but I don’t want to myself. I’m going to lie down in a hammock and read a book.
• Why did I go to this club? Because it’s prestigious. And do I need it?
• Why did you hire a housekeeper? Because I want to spend more time with my family.
• Why didn’t you hire? Because I want to put a piece of my soul into the house.
• Why do I work with a neighbor’s child on weekends for free? To be praised. I cross out this item, let them look for a tutor.
• Why do I constantly adopt homeless dogs? Because I can’t help but do it. I leave.

We do the lion’s share of everything for the sake of one thing: to be noticed, praised, and more loved. It is for the sake of someone’s love that we perform daily feats and forget about our real selves.

The question “why” helps to see what really drives us: a true desire or someone else’s opinion? Are we following the heart or the praise of others? What do we want to get as a result? The same question will bring different answers, and each will be “correct” if it is different. Because only “one’s own” can be “correct”.

Ask yourself a question, find your meaning and…

1. Refuse actions if they are not yours, but imposed from outside;
2. Reconsider your decisions and maybe do something different. Head to the countryside instead of a newfangled resort. Find a tango teacher instead of a fitness instructor.
3. Rest assured that you are doing what your soul tells you to do. Keep moving forward regardless of what other people think.

One short question, not the easiest answer, but worth it.