Instead of engaging in self-blame, it is more useful to turn on your head. Start thinking, making decisions and doing what needs to be done.
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A reasonable person in a dangerous situation considers the risks. If it’s scary, but it’s wiser to act, then we act.
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Before an attack, concentration is important.
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Reason is the best remedy for fears and anxiety. Anxiety is lower in people who lead a reasonable, businesslike and orderly lifestyle. People who have free time, live in comfort, are disorganized and do not like discipline have the most anxiety. People who are busy and disciplined worry less than others. In particular, the control of thinking contributes to the reduction of anxiety — this is the habit of thinking about what you need, and not thinking about what you should not, so as not to frighten yourself.
The best thing to calm down is business. Reasonable actions distract from the fears of the one who is worried, and change the situation itself to a more prosperous one. A reasonable person in a dangerous situation is not inclined to worry, but deals with what is happening, pulls up resources, calculates risks and makes optimal decisions. Adult and reasonable people know that experiences will not help the cause, and either calmly wait or act energetically. Instead of experiencing anxiety, adults have a plan of action, follow it and prepare for difficult situations in advance.
Specific hints: instead of general anxious reflections “Here, I don’t know, I’m not ready, I’ll fail!” it is better to focus on small concrete things that you can do anyway. I remembered something, thought of something, managed to ask something… If you are afraid, you need to act.
A reasonable person knows how to treat fear reasonably. A reasonable person is not afraid of fears; for him, the feeling of fear that has arisen can be a useful hint, but it is never a guide to action. He knows that it is reasonable to consider fear, it is dangerous to be guided by fear. A reasonable person knows what to do when it’s scary: first of all, turn on your head, approach the situation reasonably, figure it out.
Do the same: in an anxious situation, also turn on your head and assess the situation, how dangerous it really is: sometimes fears turn out to be empty.
A reasonable person is not in a hurry to be afraid, it is natural for him to first figure out what is actually happening and whether there are really serious reasons for concern. This removes cheating, fear of fear (fear of fear is an addition to the main fear: to a panic attack, to the fear of public speaking, to ordinary excitement. If the fear of fear has not been removed, then even if the main fear is removed, this additive, this fear of fear can act as a starter and launch the main fear almost from scratch) and other empty experiences. A thinking person with a good head is less afraid.
If the situation is really dangerous, do not commit impulsive acts and, if possible, think over your actions several times: reasonable caution is required. If it is more dangerous to do nothing, think over a plan of action and, if possible, put yourself in order.
If it is dangerous to act and not act, consider the risks. If you can’t figure it out yourself, ask smart people. And only if it is impossible to calculate the risks in any way, turn to intuition and inner feelings. For serious people, these are the last advisers.
Do you need to figure out where your fears come from? The question is not simple. On the one hand, it is useful for a specialist to deal with the sources of anxiety, and sometimes it is simply necessary. On the other hand, if someone who is in fear and anxiety begins to deal with his fears, this will not lead to anything good. See self-digging
When the situation has been reasonably dealt with and the decision has been made, there are two points left for an active person: to get together and do what is necessary.
In a difficult, dangerous situation, it is important to get together. Get together physically, get together mentally, gather all your abilities and resources, use everything that can help you. Sometimes even your fear can be your assistant if you know how to use your adrenaline rushes. If the fear in the body rather interferes, we weaken the fear, strengthen ourselves and do everything that is necessary. Yes, it’s scary, it’s normal. Let’s go and do it.
Strong people are stronger than fear
Dealing with fear
Working with fear is predominantly a psychotherapeutic procedure, appropriate in a situation where the problem of fears cannot be solved by a strong-willed, reasonable and active way.