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Should I write to a man if he did not answer your previous message? Is it appropriate to be the first to propose a meeting? How long should you take a break between dates? Perhaps, if you ask these questions at all, the man is simply not too interested in continuing to communicate with you. Observations from our anonymous reader.
When we desperately want to believe in something, little can dissuade us, even hard facts. And if you really like a man, you will most likely look for and find excuses for his behavior to the last: the fact that he is silent for a long time in response to your messages, or “disappears from the radar”, or is in no hurry to introduce you to loved ones.
You will convince yourself that he is too busy, “just can’t text right now” — and so on and so forth. But there are a few clear signals that your feeling is not mutual.
1. He doesn’t reply to your messages for a long time.
“I’m sorry, I was very busy, I couldn’t answer” is a common, but no less blatant lie. In fact, everything is extremely simple: they don’t answer you regularly, because the person has other priorities.
If a man really wants something — in particular, to communicate with a woman he is interested in, there will be no obstacles in his way. Desire is the best motivator, and if you can’t find a moment at all to reply to a text or call, then this desire is not so great.
2. He doesn’t try to meet you.
The same principle applies here as with messages or calls: if you really want to, you can always find time for a meeting, even if it is very short. Agree, this is exactly the case with you: if you unbearably want to see a person, you will put aside all your affairs and find a window even in the busiest schedule.
3. You have to think carefully about what to write to him.
You type a message and immediately erase it without sending it. Slightly change the wording and send to a friend asking if it sounds normal … Familiar?
At the very beginning of a relationship, this behavior is normal: you are nervous, afraid to betray how much you like the person, do not want to be imposed, strive to seem light and cheerful. But if you’ve been talking for a while and still choose your words carefully, chances are something is going wrong.
Ask yourself what makes you do this. Do you feel uncomfortable talking to this person? Do you feel compelled to constantly “go out of your way”? Do you feel like you’re not up to his level? Perhaps the whole point is that he does not experience the same enthusiasm as you.
4. He doesn’t introduce you to friends.
Of course, most guys have their own male hangout, where women are not allowed to enter, but if you have been talking for a long time, and he still hasn’t introduced you to any of his friends, he doesn’t take you with him to birthdays and weddings — most likely, he does not consider your relationship serious.
If a man likes a woman, he is in love and admired, then, as a rule, introducing her to his friends is a completely natural desire.
5. He doesn’t initiate or include you in his plans.
When you like a man, you want to spend as much time with him as possible. And when planning weekends, evenings or vacations, you first think about him, and then about friends and loved ones. If a person first builds his own plans, agrees on something with someone, and then already remembers you, alas, you are definitely not a priority for him.
Of course, realizing this is very painful. But it’s better to notice the “red flags” in the behavior of the person you like now and stop burying your head in the sand. Otherwise, you run the risk of becoming too attached to someone who, most likely, is not very interested in you.
And you definitely shouldn’t try to «chase» him, try to attract his attention (although, perhaps, having turned out to be unattainable, he has become even more desirable): this risks turning into a blow to self-esteem and self-confidence.
Wait for someone who can see and love you, someone for whom communication with you will become a priority.