Many women think so. But is it really so? Another stereotype about sexuality is being dismantled by our experts, sexologists Alain Eril and Mireille Bonyerbal.
“I often think that I have sexual deviations. The first time I did masturbation was at the age of 15 or 16. It all started with the fact that the desk drawer accidentally slid over my cock. I got an erection. It was like a hallucination. I got scared and thought I was going crazy. I started masturbating. It was a very… powerful feeling. An hour later I did it again in the bathroom, then in the toilet. And the next morning too. When I now have a desire, I feel absolute emptiness and disgust.
Peter, 29 years old
Alain Eril, psychoanalyst, sexologist:
No, a man can ejaculate with an unexcited member, without an erection and without an orgasm. Some men have an erection and ejaculate, but there is no orgasm. This means that ejaculation is not always accompanied by an orgasm. But with orgasm, ejaculation almost always occurs.
I say “almost always” because in tantric sex one can learn to control ejaculation and thereby experience orgasm, which opens up infinitely stronger sensations. But this is a whole science that requires both skill and the ability to relax; few Western men are able to comprehend it, although in our time such practices are becoming very popular.
Mireille Bonierbal, psychiatrist, sexologist:
It is not correct to say “with each”, because most men experienced moments when ejaculation was completely inexpressive and even bordered on unpleasant sensations. After all, the pleasant sensations during orgasm can be assessed on a scale from zero to infinity.
But in the West they continue to confuse the concepts of orgasm and ejaculation, and women are still often nervous if a man does not ejaculate. They feel guilty, thinking that they failed to satisfy the man. Meanwhile, a man is able to experience a great orgasm without ejaculation.