The further, the more obvious that the husband and wife are still different people with their own views, goals and interests. The duration of the relationship affects this very little, judging by the data that the researchers received.
It is well known that similarities between partners in how they look at life and the world around them are important for starting and maintaining a romantic relationship. People who are on the same wavelength, with close interests, beliefs, opinions, are attracted to each other. Discussing topics that are important for both, the partners strive to develop a common approach to solving problems, to outline common views on certain issues.
However, it has not yet been clear whether the partners manage to achieve such a merger and unity not only at the beginning of the relationship, but also after several years of family life. According to a study by two scientists from New Zealand,
the longer people are married, the more differences appear between them
Researchers whose article In the magazine Social Psychological and Personality Science, analyzed data on 171 heterosexual couples. These people, whose ages ranged from 22 to 90 years old, answered questions about their lives, political views, attitudes towards religion and the environment, and so on, for four years in a row, from 2015 to 2018.
It turned out that partners do not get closer over time. On the contrary, they rather differ in their views and beliefs. As the years go by, more and more individual differences appear in relation to life and the world, spouses begin to look at certain problems and situations differently, sometimes even completely opposite. Moreover, this difference is manifested even in such moments, which, in theory, partners should be treated the same, for example, in their views on their relationship and life together.
Nevertheless, the researchers note, despite the fact that each of the partners develops along its own trajectory, this does not mean at all that the relationship is doomed. If there is agreement between the spouses on some key points, if they are ready to compromise and strive to understand each other, then nothing prevents them from being happy in marriage.