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More and more Polish teenagers start intercourse at the age of 15, more than half without protection. For fear of pregnancy, they choose anal and oral sex, and the main source of information about sex for them is not “education for family life”, but the Internet. More and more often they go to hospitals with venereal diseases. Zuzanna Opolska talks to Agata Kozłowska from the Ponton Sexual Educators Group about why Polish youth is heading towards self-destruction instead of towards adulthood.
As part of our campaign “We choose the truth”, we recall selected texts from TvoiLokona that influenced the reality around us. In the coming months, more articles from the series will be presented on the TvoiLokony home page.
- Parents of teenagers assume that sexual education is demoralizing. Why talk? Better to pretend that sex does not exist until the wedding day and sweep emerging problems under the rug. Only that it is the other way around – kids are interested in what is forbidden and are completely unprepared for possible consequences – says Agata Kozłowska from the Ponton Sexual Educators Group
- In the classroom, Ponton educators tell students not only about how to protect themselves against unwanted pregnancies, but also teach how to set boundaries and be sexually assertive. Children very often are not aware that they can say: “NO”. They don’t have to start intercourse or agree to any sexual activity just because everyone in the class is over it
- The program implemented in schools does not correspond to reality – teenagers do not get any answers to bothering questions. In addition, the subject is conducted by teachers from the case: educators, catechists and librarians. When it comes to the textbook, the slogan: celibacy comes to the fore. Girls believe that anal or oral sex is not sex because you do not lose your virginity
- You can find more such stories on the TvoiLokony home page
Zuzanna Opolska, Medonet: Apparently Ponton educators are unwelcome in schools … Have they stopped inviting you?
Agata Kozłowska, Ponton educator: There are fewer submissions than a few years ago, which doesn’t mean they aren’t. The climate has definitely changed. The Ministry of National Education is unfavorable towards our activities, and school principals, fearing the consequences, prefer not to invite us. The problem is that “family life education” is not a substitute for sex education. Kids still do not have elementary knowledge about sexuality and physiology, they do not know how fertilization occurs …
Students usually do not attend the “WDŻ”, but how do they react to Ponton’s classes?
They listen, ask questions – the initial consternation usually disappears after ten minutes. Perhaps, more than a lecture, they need discussion, getting to know expert opinions from various backgrounds and the possibility of expressing their own opinion. During one-time classes, we try to provide children with basic information on sexual health, doctor visits, sexual rights, orientation and contraception. Everything that cannot be found in the program of “education for family life” or can be found in a limited scope. Unfortunately, it happens that the parents do not consent to their child’s participation in our activities.
Afraid you’ll turn their little angels into sex demons?
They assume that sex education is demoralizing. Why talk? Better to pretend that sex does not exist until the wedding day and sweep emerging problems under the rug. Only the opposite is true – kids are interested in what is forbidden and are completely unprepared for possible consequences. During the classes, we not only tell them how to protect themselves against unwanted pregnancy, but we also teach them to set boundaries and be sexually assertive. Children very often are not aware that they can say: “NO”. They don’t have to start intercourse or agree to any sexual activity just because everyone in the class has already done it.
Who calls the “youth helpline” most often?
There is no rule, younger people and older people are calling. Our telephone (22 635 93 92) works once a week on Fridays between 16 and 20. When it comes to the topics of conversation, most often it is contraception, or rather fear of unwanted pregnancy after some sexual interaction. They ask if there was definitely a risk of pregnancy, what a condom looks like if it breaks, or if a late period is definitely a pregnancy.
What about venereal diseases? Apparently, we have a plague, and teenagers with knee-deep condylomas go to hospitals …
Less often, but sometimes they describe the symptoms and ask if it’s something serious. If I were to talk about the changes we are seeing, there are definitely many more young children who speak the language of pornographic films. Recently, I spoke to a XNUMX-year-old boy who was offered sex by his XNUMX-year-old cousin. He didn’t even consider whether he wanted it or not. After all, sex is not refused. He was very task-oriented and wanted to know how to do it. Shockingly, there was no question of security or possible threats …
Because in porn movies there is also no …
Yes, children – literally, because 8-9-year-olds already know the words: anal and oral, but they don’t quite know what’s behind them. It is one thing to use pornography after sex life is another to start your sex life with pornography. In these films, there are no emotions between the partners, there is only a mechanical act without any involvement. A woman is a sex object that never refuses, and a man has unnatural proportions and can have sex for hours. Such a message makes it difficult to establish a relationship with a friend or colleague who does not resemble porn stars. There are also video games – I remember ten-year-old boys calling on the holiday helpline a few years ago. They wanted to know if if they approached a woman on the street and gave her money, she would have sex with them. When did I ask: how did they come up with such an idea? They replied that they played “The Witcher” and it was like that there …
How is sex fun? Stone face, rainbow, train – are they really that popular?
I heard about playing “sunshine”. The girls lay on their backs in the form of a circle, and their colleagues took turns having intercourse with them. The one who finished last won. Sometimes I ask students in class if they have heard anything about it. As a rule, they say yes, but they did not take part in the games. That’s why I don’t know how much truth there is. On the other hand, if something is talked about, chances are it has happened.
You can see from the calls that the kids are left to themselves?
Yes, they know about sex as much as they hear from their friends or as much as they can read on the Internet. Parents are ashamed to talk to them, and young people are ashamed to turn to them for help. You can see the lack of support and mutual understanding on our forum. Some people write that they have not been able to sit on their bottom for a month, it hurts so much. Or that it itches and burns, but for nothing in the world they will not see a doctor. Because mum or dad will think that the “first time” is over, even if it is not, and the infection is the result of lack of hygiene or something that the child has caught, for example in the swimming pool.
Statistics show that more than half of adolescents begin unprotected sex. It is so bad?
I think there is a big gap between theoretical and practical knowledge. The kids know to protect themselves, but they can’t put on a condom. I have not heard that a dad would sit on the couch with his son or daughter and say: today I will teach you how to put on condoms. Ponton Educators Group operates in the capital city and I have the feeling that it is much better here than in other places. Recently, I was conducting workshops at a school near Warsaw and some of the kids did not know where the children came from. And this is elementary knowledge that we should learn in biology lessons. Unfortunately, we learn about budding or cell division instead.
And from “WDŻ” we learn that he is a sower and her body is a soil in which a new life will grow …
The program implemented in schools does not correspond to reality – teenagers do not get any answers to bothering questions. In addition, the subject is conducted by teachers from the case: educators, catechists and librarians. When it comes to the textbook, the slogan: celibacy comes to the fore. The only correct model is marriage and sex after marriage. I think that the problems that have become famous, i.e. venereal diseases and teenage pregnancies, are the aftermath of the message: sexuality is something wrong. The hymen has become a “holiness” that must be preserved until the wedding day. Hence the approach that anal or oral sex is not sex, because girls do not lose their virginity. In the West, the concept of the hymen is abandoned, it is said that not all women have it. We, on the other hand, are going the exact opposite, which is that a woman without a membrane is not worth marrying. This is absurd … Not to mention ignoring the existence of a non-heterosexual sexual orientation and presenting the “boy and girl is a normal family” model as the only valid and “right” one. It is no wonder that more and more phenomena such as homophobia, transphobia and sexual violence in our country.
This may interest you:
- What do you know about sex? Compulsory set of points! We ask about the basics
- Testing for STIs can be done at home
- Be careful! The easiest way to catch a shameful disease is on vacation
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