A good partner or a secret narcissist: 10 main differences

1. A healthy partner is in no hurry to confess his love as soon as possible

Only a few weeks or even days have passed since you met, and the person already confesses his love to you? Perhaps this is cause for concern. And gently ask about how often he “suddenly” fell in love like this, how long his previous relationship lasted, when they ended, and how many there were.

2. He doesn’t hide his life from you.

Of course, there are also just closed people who are not used to sharing something. But perhaps your potential partner really has something to hide – especially if he diligently avoids certain topics, and entire time periods fall out of the life story that he told you.

3. Partner does not copy your behavior

Many of us tend to “mirror” a person we like – for example, changing posture after him, repeating gestures, recalling similar stories – but narcissists are addicted to this more than others.

Tracking this behavior is not easy. It is necessary to pay attention to how the partner communicates with others: if, upon contact with each new interlocutor, his behavior changes radically, perhaps you have a narcissist in front of you.

4. He doesn’t introduce you to close friends and family.

Narcissists rarely manage to maintain long-term relationships with friends or relatives. So, if your partner is in no hurry to introduce you to his surroundings, or if, upon meeting, it turns out that his friends are nothing more than friends, and family members are clearly not telling you something, this is also an alarm signal.

5. He doesn’t want to be part of your life immediately.

The fact that the relationship does not develop too rapidly is rather a good sign: a person values ​​uXNUMXbuXNUMXbyour life and your personal time. Narcissists value only the time and attention that is given to them personally. So already at first there will be too many of them in your life – or rather, they will completely fill your life with themselves.

6. You are not afraid to tell your partner that you do not like something in his behavior.

It happens that the words or actions of a partner hurt or embarrass us. This is normal – the question is whether you can talk openly with him about it. Response phrases that should alert you: “Come on, I didn’t do anything like that”, “You are exaggerating”, “It seemed to you”, “Do not dramatize”.

7. During difficult conversations, you feel that you have been heard and understood.

If you feel that you are being treated unfairly, do not hear, do not want to take into account your opinion, take a break and analyze if your partner is violating your boundaries. The fact is that narcissists, as a rule, put pressure on the interlocutor: they devalue him, “suck out energy” and do not allow him to take a sober look at the situation.

8. He doesn’t lie

Of course, you can’t know this for sure, but next to a healthy partner you don’t get the feeling that he is keeping something back or trying to seem like someone he isn’t. Signs that you are being lied to should not be ignored: dealing with this now in any case is better than later realizing that you have been betrayed.

9. His words are consistent with actions

Does your partner keep their word? Do his words match his actions? If not, you may have a narcissist who is trying to splurge on you.

10. You don’t have a bad feeling

Do you “gut inwardly” that something is wrong with your partner, that everything is not as smooth as it seems at first glance? This instinct is to be trusted. If we did this more often, we would avoid many disappointments.

It is very easy to miss all these red flags, especially if you are completely overwhelmed by feelings. But try to keep track of them, because your emotions and your future life are at stake – at least for the coming months or years.