On Saturday morning my 7 year old daughter woke up as usual before me. When I opened my eyes, I saw her lying on the couch in her pajamas. My princess met me with the words: “Can I watch TV. Good morning dad.» I, continuing to do the “Cheerful Morning” exercise for 6 days, answered “good morning”, did not say anything about the TV and cheerfully walked into the shower.
Coming out of the bathroom, I found my beauty in the same position and with the same question. At the age of 7, children perfectly understand what a day off is, but they still do not really understand what to do with it. Looking at this picture, I thought, if I make such progress at a distance, sometimes quite unexpected for myself, and even more so I’m going to be a practicing psychologist, I need to start bringing something beautiful and useful into the world.
How to captivate a child? I did not think for a long time and offered to play the game «Cheerful morning». My daughter has a flaccid interest. The game is interesting, but the rules are not yet clear. I told you what to do. To be honest, I had to help part with the sofa, but then everything went like clockwork. The fact is that children like certainty and when it is agreed in advance, the child is happy to follow the sequence, receiving praise.
Encouraged by the success and the interest of my daughter, I decided to go further. Introduced a to-do list game. As you can see, I didn’t bother with the names, you can come up with something more interesting, but in my case it was enough. I invited my daughter to name any things that she would like and that need to be done today.
I took a piece of paper and got ready to write. The first thing my daughter suggested was to watch TV. And here he began to work out the “total YES”. I answered “okay” and wrote down the case “watch TV” on a piece of paper. The daughter was surprised, her eyes sparkled, she became interested. But I didn’t forbid her or tell her that she shouldn’t do this or that there are more important things to do, etc. Watching TV is good! As a result, we have a to-do list:
- Watch TV
- Find interesting facts about Elizabeth (for an English lesson)
- Download new game to iPad
- draw
- Read «Fly-Tsokotuha»
- Check out the new drawing book
- Visit the game room.
I just wrote down what my daughter listed. He reminded me about the lessons, but there was no resistance from her side. After all, we wrote a list of cases that she determined herself. Important — no denial. We write down everything that the child calls.
Next, I suggested prioritizing. Execution sequence. And here, softly, using total YES, we help put important tasks (for example, doing homework) at the top of the list. We alternated them:
- Find interesting facts about Elizabeth (for an English lesson)
- Download new game to iPad
- draw
- Read «Fly-Tsokotuha»
- Watch TV
- Check out the new drawing book
- Visit the game room.
But that’s not all. Next, I suggested setting a time for each task. I know that not all adults cope with this. But this exercise has 2 tasks: the child learns to plan and she herself sets time for entertainment. Of course, this is discussed and can be corrected by an adult if the child sets inadequate time for watching TV. In our case, the daughter called — it was 30 minutes — i.e., I don’t limit or forbid her. She simply has nothing to resist here.
It is interesting that important things (to do homework) are an action aimed at the result, so the daughter did “until victory” and did not look at her watch.
So, we wrote down a to-do list, ranked it, determined the time to complete each task. After completing the first task (helping me find information on the Internet and select facts), I said: “And now the most interesting thing! Pick a marker you like and cross off the work you’ve done!»
It was a real victory. She liked this ritual so much that she was in a hurry to do things, cross them out and immediately move on to the next one.
Separate conversation about TV. Let me remind you that the daughter herself determined the time — 30 minutes. And as soon as the time passed (I reminded her), she calmly turned off the TV, took a marker and crossed it off as done. I have a good, smart girl with whom I can almost always find a common language, but I was amazed at the result!!! How it works? The rest of the work was completed successfully.
Needless to say, how proud she felt, looking at the deleted cases, how happy I was and how harmonious our relationship was. I understand that all children are different, each needs its own approach and I will be happy if my experience helps you in communicating with your child.
What have we done
- Dad — interested in the game «Cheerful morning».
- Dad — He offered to play the game «To Do List».
- Together — We made a to-do list (daughter dictated), I wrote down everything that she called without exception.
- Together — Established the order in which things were to be done.
- Together — Set a time for each task.
- Daughter Crossed the case off the list after completion.