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Little children (up to three years old) adore themselves! They rate themselves at «five plus» — without false modesty, and are absolutely sure that everything they do is good. And it’s great, this inflated self-esteem helps the baby to be a confident and contented being. And he does not doubt how necessary and important and how much he is loved. It should be.
But children have this peculiarity: they evaluate themselves through others. That is, how others treat him, so he considers himself. You said «good» — he believes in it — great. You said «bad» — alas, he will also believe (over time, when he figure out what is «bad» and «good»). That is why it is desirable not to criticize the child, but to direct.
He is the one and only, and there is no need to compare him with anyone. And here, again, why. Here the baby came up to the Swedish ladder, stood on the first step, stretched to climb higher and … moved away. “What are you? Look how high Vika climbs and is not afraid.” From the point of view of our logic, the baby should conclude: «It’s okay, and you can do it.» From the point of view of a child, she will make another one: “Vika is not afraid, but I am afraid … Vika is good, but I am bad … It turns out that I am a coward, yes.” And if parents are consistent in their tactics: to compare and set as an example, then you should not be surprised when their schoolgirl Lucy obeys Veronica, even if she leads the wrong way.
A fairy tale told in time will help a person gain self-confidence, understand that he is needed and important no less than an adult, big person. And even if at first you have nothing, nothing at all works out — everything is ahead, you will get there, learn, and master, and be able to. It will help, especially if you manage to hurt something dear and close with it, which will respond like a tuning fork in your soul.
And perhaps she will do something even more important: tell you. He will tell you what your child needs, what to support in him, how to help.
Tale of the little yellow bus
There lived a small yellow bus in the world. He was very, very big: he had doors to enter, and windows to look into them, and wheels to go fast, only he had no passengers. And this bus really, really wanted to carry people, passengers. “All buses carry passengers, and I can,” thought the small yellow bus and drove to the bus stop. Large buses approached the stop, people got into them and left where they needed to go. The little yellow bus pulled up to a stop and flung open its doors. He said, “Beep! Sit down, people, I’ll take you for a ride.» One uncle approached the yellow bus, he wanted to get on the bus, but it didn’t work out. The bus is small and the uncle is big. My aunt came up to the bus, but she also couldn’t enter the door: the door was too small. A little boy came up and tried this, and tried that, nothing came out. Only a leg crawled through the door, but he himself did not fit in the bus. And then his mom called. The boy waved his hand and went to the big bus to sit down.
So the little yellow bus was left standing at the bus stop, all alone.
He felt sad, even tears shone in the headlights. (“Headlights” — this is the name of the eyes on buses, with which it illuminates the road).
And at this time, a girl Arina passed by. (A pretty girl in a yellow jumpsuit, in boots with suns, holding her mother by the hand.) She saw a small bus and went up to it.
“Why are you sad, little yellow bus? Arina asked.
And the bus answers her:
— I wanted to carry people like big buses, but I can’t do anything. No one can enter my door, sit on the seat, look out the window, I’m too small. I won’t be useful to anyone,” the yellow bus sighed and almost cried.
“Don’t cry,” the girl Arina said and stroked the small bus on the yellow roof. I know how to help you.
The little bus was delighted, spun all the wheels and drove after Arina.
Here they come home. Arina took off her shoes, the bus wiped the wheels on the mat, and they went to the corner where Arina’s toys lived.
Arina got a small dog:
— Do you want to ride the bus?
— Gav! Said the dog.
The little bus opened the little doors, the dog jumped in and sat on the first seat.
Then two dolls got on the bus, Masha and Misha, then a funny dinosaur, then … (name your baby’s favorite toys).
The bus was delighted, gave a signal: “Beep! Thank you, Arina girl, ”and the engine started working (depict how). His wheels turned. Cheerful little yellow bus went to ride its passengers.
What is confidence?
…Confidence itself is an understanding. Uncertainty is Ignorance. When one doubts, one simply does not know. He’s not sure. People who KNOW are confident. People who don’t know believe in luck.
For any person (and especially for a small child), confidence is predictability. The baby must know that his parents are here and that they will be there as long as he depends on them.
Preventing disorders is important for a child’s sanity. Too many unpredictable events will cause the child to feel insecure. See →
Building a child’s self-confidence
The task of parents is to help the child discover these strengths in himself and teach him to use them, and in such a way that they bring him satisfaction. The issue of compensation brings us to a very important point that needs to be well understood. Awareness of one’s own shortcomings can destroy and paralyze a person, but on the contrary, it can give her a huge emotional charge that will contribute to achieving success in various fields. See →
Building self-confidence and self-respect
If we treat children with love, then they are sure that we love them. If we treat them badly, then they are convinced that they deserve it. Children who are not treated as valuable and necessary people believe that something is wrong with them. They believe that «it’s because of them» and do not assume that anything can be wrong in their treatment. How we treat children determines whether they develop healthy or unhealthy self-esteem and develop self-esteem.