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Drive slow or fast? Get closer or keep your distance? Listen to music or news? Each time, the one of the two who is not driving tells himself that he should not comment on anything. And yet, few people manage to resist. Is there a way out?
I got into the habit of mentioning in my columns what happened to me while traveling. However, some readers have pointed out that I have developed an unfortunate tendency to write passionately about trains while neglecting automobiles. In the meantime, there is something to be said! The machine really is a kind of small world, separated from the big world, closed, intimate, where we are so close with loved ones that the slightest disagreement can provoke a clash of civilizations on a small scale. Therefore, one has to reconcile opposite desires, when one loves to be warm, and the other wants to lower the glass, one loves impeccable cleanliness, and the other cannot live without his little bedlam, when one talks without ceasing, and the second prefers silence. Maybe turn on the radio? Here, too, opinions differ! Classic? Popular music? News channel?
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- Why cars are addictive
I must confess to you that at this point my wife and I had serious frictions that were not easy to overcome. Once we found such a solution: the one who is driving selects his favorite station, and the passenger waits for his turn to get behind the wheel to change the channel. This is clearly not an ideal solution, because it is based on the right of the strong and neglects the idea of marital consensus, which requires constant effort. Therefore, we thought for a long time, argued and found a much better option: an audiobook. Amazing invention! Of course, you need to choose a work together and, perhaps, avoid too exciting detective stories, so as not to exceed the speed in enthusiasm and not deviate from the route. But the rest is pure happiness: we leave kilometers behind us like pages we read, and instead of “Shall we go to Venice or Rome?” we ask the question “Do we take Modiano or Delancourt?”
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- 7 mistakes dangerous for two
Alas, the audiobook cannot solve all the problems that arise between the protagonists of a small matrimonial comedy. Because one leads and the other does not. Sitting next to the driver, the passenger reminds himself that he must not say anything. And then he himself cannot help remarking, which, after being held back for a long time, sounds sharper than he would like (“Where so close!” or “You are going more than a hundred and forty!”) You probably noticed that these phrases are certainly repeated from time to time, as, indeed, are the answers of the “accused”. There are couples who, after ten, twenty or thirty years of marriage, are surprised to state: their remarks have not changed one iota, the discussion has not moved one centimeter off the ground in this impossible car “dialogue”. So, here I would like to assure everyone (I am flattered when they see a therapeutic effect in my notes!) That this is completely normal. In fact, each of us has such an individual and deeply rooted in our personality manner of acting that even thirty years of critical remarks from a husband or wife is not enough to change it. The marital talent lies precisely in building a common life out of these differences. Have a good trip!