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A child sleeps with his parents: how to wean a child from sleeping with his mother
Many modern babies do not like cradles and cribs. Coming home from the hospital, they choose a parental bed and sleep safely between mom and dad for a year, two, three and even more. But sooner or later, the time for resettlement comes. How can this be done painlessly for the child and is it harmful for him to stay in the same bed for a long time with his parents?
The phenomenon when a child voluntarily agrees to leave the parent’s bed and sleep in his bed is rare, if not exceptional! Many married couples do not know how to solve this problem. There are different opinions on this matter: some say that the joint sleep of a mother and child is useful, arguing that this is how a closer energetic connection is formed and children grow up more self-confident, healthy and calm. Others, on the contrary, argue that the child’s habit of sleeping with their parents develops into rather serious consequences for both the baby and the parents.
“Yes” or “no” to sleep together?
Indeed, between the ages of 0 months and up to two and a half years, there are many factors that favor the joint sleep of the baby and the parents. First, it is the need to be with the mother around the clock, then the fear of darkness or loneliness. If you love your child and do not want to injure the child’s psyche, then you should not carry out a revolution and, when the child reaches the age of three, move him to a separate room.
The need for independence is not far off, when children themselves seek to break away from parental care. Then they are weaned from the parental bed is not so painful. It is worth waiting for this moment.
– If children sleep with their parents for too long, this will inevitably affect the couple’s sex life in a bad way. And in children who sleep with their parents at the age of 3 to 6 years, the Oedipus complex (in boys) and the Electra complex in girls are formed, which negatively affects the ability to build relationships with the opposite sex in adulthood.
How should parents behave when they are determined to wean the child from sleeping in their bed? There are a lot of strategies and techniques, but you need to understand that first of all, the safety and emotional comfort of both mother and baby are important! Do not stress him out and in no case leave him alone at the beginning!
On the contrary, if the toddler is still very small, before 1 year old, try to start by moving his crib to yours, removing the front wall, so the baby will get used to being in his territory, but he will feel that his loved one is nearby and he is not alone. After a while, the crib can be returned to its place.
Night rituals are important
Often there is such a phenomenon – up to three years old, the child sleeps peacefully in his crib, and after that he begins to visit his dad and mom more and more often and as a result regains his place in the parent’s bedroom, pushing dad out onto the sofa! In this case, pre-sleep rituals will help: evening reading of fairy tales, baths with lavender for a deeper and more restful sleep, lullabies and special motivational tales that talk about the benefits of sleeping in your own crib, how it forms courage and other positive qualities. character. You can even come up with such a fairy tale yourself and include your kid’s favorite characters in it.
But in no case should you scare him! Babies and wolves are not the best way to instill the right habit, on the contrary, it can cause the formation of various complexes! Be firm in your intention and do not follow the tantrum and whims! Pity is a bad advisor, it is better to overpower yourself and, having calmed the baby, help him fall asleep in his bed. The more you indulge your whims, the more difficult it will be for you to achieve your goal.
Remember that the reason you need to sleep with your mom is to feel love and attention! If this basic need of the child is satisfied before sleep occurs, then he will calmly and happily fall asleep on his territory!