Early marriage

Early marriage is the creation of a registered family at an age younger than is usually done in society. A couple of young people, too young in the opinion of society for family life.

For the most part (according to research — about 82%), early marriages end in divorce and sobs into the vest of friends.

What is considered an early marriage

Formally, most often these are marriages concluded immediately upon reaching the age of majority, at the age of 18-20. This also includes marriages entered into before marriageable age with special permission from administrative authorities.

Worldly — early marriage is more often called a marriage between people who do not have a common goal, do not stand firmly on their own feet, are not able to provide for themselves and have not learned to respect each other. At the same time, if at the age of 19 both work, study, have their own apartment, are devoid of prejudices about the «heavenly» family life and ongoing romance — why not? If people are able not to sit on the neck of their parents and try to provide themselves and their soulmate with a decent life, if they respect and love each other, then such a marriage has a good chance of surviving.

Psychologically, for anxious mothers, any marriage of their children will be too early.

How and why does this usually happen?

For love

So, we’re getting married! Wedding in a month.

The adults are shocked.

“Uh… guys, are you in a hurry?” Don’t you think it’s a bit early to get married at 18, four months after you met? On what money and where will you live? And anyway, why all of a sudden?

— We love each other. We will live with Lenka’s mother, I will go to work. We just realized that we can not live without each other, so we decided to get married.

— Congratulations…

When feelings are overwhelming, when you cannot imagine your life without a loved one, when reasonable arguments do not work, young people make a decision: “Let’s get married!”

By flight

How does this happen? And like this: op — and zalet. Now a man, as a decent person, if he, of course, is such, will either have to pay for an abortion, or take on obligations for a girl and an unborn child.

Another option is a «fly by calculation». Particularly insidious representatives of the fair sex can choose a suitable candidate for the role of their future spouse for a long time. When the candidacy is approved, she seduces him, and then it’s a matter of technology … And so a new cell of society appears.

For stupidity and other reasons

I want to legalize sex. Yes, you will get it, but paying for it in marriage is too expensive a price for it.

If you just want to get away from your parents or the difficulties of life, marriage will be early for you at any age.

Getting married to forget someone or get revenge on someone is the most stupid of all the stupid options.

Pros and cons of early marriage

Early marriages (for love) have both their pluses and minuses: the situation for a girl is a little better, for young people it is rather unfavorable.

Pros:

• Love is both a reward and a support. You are together with each other and you love each other, you can take care of each other. Love helps to overcome problems, circumvent difficulties. The only bad thing is that in a young couple love is usually short-lived.
• Patience. Young people are more tolerant. Young people, IF YOU WANT, can more easily adapt to each other: the nervous system is still flexible, in young people the world is more often good and beautiful, each other’s shortcomings do not hit each other in the eyes. He can forgive her reluctance to dust the lampshade, and she doesn’t swear much about drinking with her friends. The fact is that the characters are not yet fully formed, habits are not ossified, spouses can quickly achieve psychological compatibility, since it is easier for them to adapt to each other. With age, this often becomes more problematic. On the other hand, irascibility and impulsiveness, the habit of turning on the head prevents young people from negotiating and getting out of quarrels without emotional wounds.
• Independence and tempering of character. Breaking out from under the parental wing, providing for yourself, living your own life and solving your own problems — all this is very conducive to growing up. The family is the education of adulthood. Yes, this is a load, but those who do not squeak, they grow wiser and grow up. become more independent.
• Job. There is an opinion among employers that married employees are more responsible for their work. They have to feed their families! However, married young girls do not have such advantages: on the contrary, many employers do not want to burden themselves with paying maternity leave and other troubles associated with young children.
• If there is a child, the girl has a physiologically optimal age for the birth of healthy children. However, the most intelligent and educated children are born to parents of a different age. See →

Cons:

“Young people who have not yet said goodbye to childhood are trying to start a family. They hardly imagine what awaits them beyond the threshold of the registry office. These are mountains of dirty dishes, laundry, shopping and, most importantly, a catastrophic lack of time.

For a girl, a husband soon becomes an obligatory monster, and for a young man, a wife.

The husband, who is accustomed to leaving his dirty socks anywhere, simply does not understand why the wife does not act like his mother, that is, she does not wash them right away. And the beautiful half cannot understand why her missus does not tear herself away from football to bring her water, as her daddy did in childhood.

Hence the misunderstanding, the result of which is divorce.

Recommendations for young people

Optimal age later

What is optimal in terms of physiology is not optimal in terms of life prospects. It is best for a girl to marry at the age of 22-28, for a young man to marry at the age of 27-35.

Why and what?

Marriage is not early, but timely for someone who knows WHY he (she) creates a family and WHAT. Take the Family Agreement Questionnaire and discuss all future family life issues with your future couple. In the registry office — only after that, not before.

Children later

In any case, do not rush to have children.

• Until you have children, you live for yourself, and when children appear, their life becomes your life. But at the age of twenty, giving up all your former pleasures and joys for the sake of someone else’s life is difficult. You are ready?
• If it doesn’t work out for you, you are free and can leave, and if you have a child, you are tied. Do not hurry. See →

When to make decisions

It is better to make a decision about marriage when you are in a quarrel. When you are in a quarrel, you cannot divorce. The decision to divorce can only be made when you have reconciled. See Deciding to Start a Relationship and Ending a Relationship

Recommendations for parents

If you are against, then either immediately become sharply opposed (if there is a chance to prevent), or, if the young people still live together, then change your position and support them.