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Fate gave me a unique experience. While I lived in Russia, and my husband in Germany, for 3 whole years we had to give love at a distance. During these three years, we not only went all the way from dating to starting a family, but also successfully overcame many trials. The simplest of which is the state border.
For those who find themselves in a similar situation or are separated from dear friends and relatives, I will list the ways of giving love that I know today.
1. Letter discussing something important
In order for a person to feel loved, it is necessary to write about the most important thing for him today. On personal topics. Such, for example, as “feeling of loneliness”, “inspiring book”, “share joy”, “dream”, “find a specialist”.
My husband paid attention to all my questions, answered all letters — both joyful and sad — and this gave us spiritual intimacy.
2. Pictures with dreams
Dreaming is an important life process. During dreams, people more accurately imagine the future they want to go to. And they draw energy to go forward and solve complex problems.
In order to unite in dreams at a distance, my husband and I searched the Internet for pictures that reflect our dreams as beautifully as possible. And then they accompanied the picture with a caption and saved it in a PowerPoint presentation. And when we met in person, they hurried to make our dreams come true.
It is interesting that the dream of “attending psychological trainings together” not only came true, but later turned into a second education. And today we are not only spouses, but also colleagues engaged in a common cause.
3. Songs
Nothing can so subtly express or support our emotions as breathing and voice. And if the song is beautiful and performed from the heart, it can pull a loved one out of the most twilight states.
In order to give my husband my love, I spared no expense and recorded several songs in a recording studio. And later, with the same records, my husband supported me. They brought back the fighting spirit.
Voice messages recorded on a voice recorder or video have a similar effect. As well as songs and lyrics recorded by other people, if they are in tune with you.
4. Presents
My husband has an amazing ability to make gifts at the right time and place. He sent one of his first gifts to me with a wish to open it at the most difficult moment. That moment was the moment when I came to the conclusion that moving to Germany was too difficult a task for me. And it will be easier to leave … It was then that the husband’s gift came in handy. It turned out to be a mug with a picture that personifies our common dream. But to betray the dream, and even the common one — I just could not! I had to do the impossible. 🙂
5. Calling in Skype
For many, Skype is the most obvious way to communicate. But not for me then. It was not easy for me to show my beloved when I was exhausted. I am used to giving people joy and consolation myself. And to accept them when I need care means to trust the person completely. Skype not only showed me the love of my husband in difficult moments of separation, but also taught me to trust him.
6. Personal photos
It’s no secret that men love with their eyes. When I tested this wisdom on my husband — I discovered his joy in response to the pictures sent — I went through all my archives to select the best shots for him. I wanted to give him as much beauty as I could. To do this, I even had to give up the belief that posing is not good. 🙂
7. Joint prayers
By chance, we discovered an amazing way of intimacy at a distance — to share prayers for each other. It happened spontaneously when both needed support. My husband sent me a prayer in which he asked God for me, and I answered with a prayer for my husband. And it became a revelation. I have never experienced such sincerity with anyone. After all, with God we are always extremely sincere.
8. Tales of the Inner World
When a person is next to you, you can hug him tightly to convey the calm emanating from you. Or look deep into his eyes to understand his soul. And how to do all this from a distance?
My husband and I wrote fairy tales in which we drew the ideal image of each other, shared wise decisions, defeated «dragons» and looked our fears in the eye. Fairy tales and metaphors are a great way to convey the inexpressible and find a way out of a difficult situation.
9. Daily reports
Reports are not only at work, but also in love — as a way to please your loved one with your successes.
When I needed to move to Germany alone, I wrote reports to my husband daily. She reported on the completed assignments, told how she applied his advice. And he always gave me hints if he saw difficulties.
I now use this partnership in my work with clients. When you need to help them move mountains alone. And I know from my own experience that distance for love and cooperation is not a hindrance! The main thing is to keep in touch and move forward with feasible steps. Together.