Contents
We are glad to welcome you, dear readers! Almost everyone strives for stability. And this is quite normal. Since when the unknown appears, anxiety “comes” with it. No one knows how the future will develop and how the changes will affect other areas of life. This can’t help but scare.
That’s why today I’m going to share with you ways to help you deal with anxiety. And if you really could honestly say to yourself: “I am afraid of changes in my life” — this article is for you.
Entry
So, as we have already found out, it is normal to worry about the unknown. It is worth starting to worry about your condition if this anxiety negatively affects your work, personal life, health, relationships with others.
Or if you are currently at a point where it is not particularly safe, but you do not dare to take a step to the side. For example, such situations are most often observed with victims of domestic violence. They understand that each time the spouse crosses more and more lines, causing more serious damage than in the initial stages — but remain in marriage.
Why? Because it’s scary to go into the unknown, suddenly he decides to take revenge for what he left. Or it will be even worse than now. After all, these relationships are quite clear and well known. Not safe at all, but stable. There are many reasons for this, unfortunately.
And no matter how much you would like to stay forever in the familiar state, change is a necessity. Development, evolution, growth… Nothing stands still. The world is changing daily.
And if you choose to ignore what is happening outside, not trying to adapt to it, you will begin to degrade. Despite the heights that have been achieved.
The brain needs food, new information to process, complexities to solve. This is what ensures its development, keeps it in good shape.
As unnecessary, when a person acts “on the machine”, as he performs well-learned actions, he, as it were, turns off. And over time, it relaxes, loses its capabilities. Why it becomes difficult to think, memory lapses appear, even the most frequently used words “fly out of my head”.
Ways to deal with fear
Rationalization
Write on a piece of paper what is the worst thing that will happen if you decide to change. And try to carefully study each reason. Whether so they are not solvable and awful. Or just a little overdone? Or, despite the seriousness of the consequences, do you, in principle, understand what actions need to be taken to correct the situation?
Fear is actually a very emotionally charged feeling. So much so that it can even «paralyze». Yes, a person simply “freezes”, unable to move or think about something.
And the only thing that will help to cope with this state is rationalization. Here each item is taken and subjected to criticism, to find out how much it really reflects reality.
Settings
Write what you really want, but are afraid to let into your life. Unfortunately, there are a lot of illogical or irrational attitudes that prevent us from living a full life.
For example, how can you make a lot of money if you consider rich people to be criminals? Or to think that then they will pay for the luxury with their health anyway?
These settings work on a subconscious level. A person may try to work almost three jobs at once, but still feel a lack of finances. It can even earn enough, more than other people in the environment, but «drain» money on something unnecessary, which is why then not be able to afford what you want.
Not getting married? What are your thoughts on married life? Suddenly, taking into account them, your subconscious is trying with all its might to protect, save, and that’s where the fear of change arises?
Relation transformation
It is not necessary to consider any changes as a bad or good event. Otherwise, in this case, you create an emotional attachment. Suppose you thought that after something new you would heal perfectly, but it turned out that it was not so. There was disappointment. Where can we get a positive attitude for the next expected events? It is quite natural if a person is suspicious, wary of them.
So try to just consider them a necessity. Something you can’t do without. After all, indeed, changes are an integral part of life, sometimes inevitable, no matter how hard a person tries to “hide”.
Everything has its pros and cons. It’s important to notice them. Even a crisis accompanied by pain and anger is useful.
For example, with the advent of a child comes not only joy and unbridled happiness, but also fatigue, anxiety, irritability, and sometimes depression. As well as in addition to the discomfort regarding the change of regime, additional financial expenses, at times there is so much tenderness and love that it seems that nothing in the world is worth more than the smile of your baby.
Abstraction
Shift your focus to something else. Go in for sports to relieve excess stress and anxiety. When your body relaxes even a little, you will have the opportunity to notice the resource side of the changes.
The more energy we put into fantasies, the more fear will fill our body and mind. You don’t need to stop yourself.
If you feel that you are simply unable to find a place for yourself and relax, go to the gym. Box, run, meditate. The main thing is not to keep the tension inside.
Stabilization
Learn to “turn on” the internal waiting toggle switch instead of panicking. Just «slow down» yourself. A person who knows how to cope and live through uncertainty has a more stable psyche than one who immediately begins to fuss. And also less prone to stress, which, as you know, has a strong impact on health.
Yes, it’s hard to sit still when the energy just goes off scale. But think about how many actions you will perform in this state, which, well, will not bring anything good in the end.
So keep your mind clear. You will still need it. Stop, look around and only then take a step forward. Agree, it is difficult to build a route without understanding from what point you need to start. And if you run without looking back, you can get lost and, in the end, find yourself in some wilderness.
Fight against illusions
This is probably the most annoying stage. Illusions support and give hope for a wonderful future, one that can only be dreamed of. But it is illusions that prevent you from enjoying what you have. They distort reality.
And the time has come to abandon them, to try to destroy them. But what if they lead to such strong disappointments that they can deprive the meaning of life?
When we divide the world, for example, into good and evil, the level of anxiety decreases, as it becomes clearer what can and cannot be done. But this division distorts reality. Because obedience does not always bring happiness.
To get something, you need to perform a series of specific actions that will help realize what you want. And not just to live honestly and hope that at one moment the Universe will take and unexpectedly give a bag of money.
Support
There are individuals who keep their plans in the strictest confidence until they are carried out. Since they believe that they will be “jinxed”, they will scare away luck, and then, for sure, the matter will end badly.
Now imagine how much tension arises from the need, not only to worry about the future, but also to keep thoughts and feelings inside yourself. How many resources of the body are wasted, just for one hold!
Of course, how not to be afraid of changes later, if after them there is no strength for anything. Sometimes you can’t even be proud of your success.
Such «partisanship» may well lead to neurosis. It is clear that it is not necessary to devote everyone you meet to the plans. Yes, and there are people who are unable to cope with their envy and may well take some action that will interfere with you.
Just think about who you could trust and share your experiences with this person. Perhaps he will not only support, but also share his experience.
Procrastination
Or maybe it’s not fear that prevents you from moving forward, but just ordinary procrastination, that is, the habit of putting things off until later?
Then learn to get down to business immediately after making a decision, and not on Monday or from next year. Remember, if you stand still for a long time, it threatens with degradation and depression? Needs are not satisfied, because this requires constant movement, creative adaptation to new tasks and complexities.
If you do not know how to deal with this enemy with such a complicated name, it does not matter. Since this article was written specifically to help get rid of procrastination.
affirmations
The method of positive affirmations will help you calm down on a subconscious level. So, you will not make decisions that will negatively affect in the future. You will feel confident in your abilities. That is to say, program yourself for success.
And if you believe that you can achieve your goal no matter what, you will not be stopped. Even if failures haunt you, faith will not let you give up until you get what you want.
It is enough to devote time to this method several times a day, repeating the same phrase in front of the mirror 15 times. You can get a list of the most effective positively charged formulations by clicking on this link.
Completion
How to stop being afraid of change if obsessive thoughts about losing haunt you? It is very difficult, but very real. It is only necessary to start getting rid of obsessions, phobias, to work a little on self-esteem.
And then it will be easier for you to meet changes with excitement and interest, rather than anxiety and horror.
Try, work on yourself and you will succeed!
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina