9 tips for talking to your man about sex

Communicate before the unspoken contaminates the relationship

It is not because we love each other very much that we are sexually fulfilled together. Even though you’ve gotten to know each other better, develop a physical bond and share sexual pleasure, spent the first days of mad passion where everything seems great, there are gray areas in all couples, dissatisfaction, questions that you do not dare to discuss with your darling. By modesty, for lack of confidence in yous, for fear of hurting the other, for self-censorship linked to your upbringing, for fear that telling the truth about this hypersensitive subject will only get you in trouble … The problem is that silence has devastating effects about the relationship in general.

By accumulating the unspoken, sexual frustrations have a contagion effect, and crises and explosions are likely to multiply. Take your courage in both hands, and even if it is not easy, dare to put the subject on the table. So is your sexual and marital harmony !

Put the shapes in it

If your partner is not connected enough to sex, not sensual enough, if he does not know how to make you come as you would like, if he is awkward or in too much of a hurry, if you do not have the same desires, in short, if it’s not great in bed, tell him, but not just any old way. First important point: avoid the reproaches, the guilty accusations that provoke annoyances and narcissistic injuries. Especially not the kind of schoolteacher who gives good points: “There you are average, there really bad, there can do better …” The authoritarian type “Do this, like that like this, higher, lower, stronger … ”Is also to be avoided. So as not to fall into guilt, talk about your needs, how you feel personally. Adopt a tone of gentleness and kindness so that your message gets across better. 

Second point, choose the right time, when you are calm and your partner seems available and open. No question of launching a “sex debate” in bed, in action, or just after having made love, because it is a moment when the other is particularly vulnerable. Express yourself, but let your sweetheart speak and also verbalize anything that disturbs him. This dialogue will emerge emotions and will make it possible to find together sensual avenues to explore. Get in the habit of regularly reserving intimate moments, make appointments to talk about your sexuality, even if everything seems ok. It’s always good for physical and romantic complicity to take stock from time to time!

Express your fantasies if you both enjoy it

We all have fantasies, these exciting imaginary scenarios that stage our hidden desires of transgression. Before talking about it together, start by testing your darling On the question. Is he open or modest? Will the content of your fantasies not risk undermine his image of you ? Does he accept that every human being has his dark side, even you? Telling your hyper jealous companion that you are fantasizing about a trip to a swingers club can trigger an emotional tsunami, even a loss of confidence!

On the other hand, if your erotic imaginations match, telling your naughty daydreams can become a very exciting game. Our fantasies are often not very original, and the classics to see or be seen, to dominate or to be dominated, to make love with a partner of the same sex or more, with a stranger or in an unusual place … are d‘excellent starters very titillating … 

Openly express your desire to make love, your desire for him

And if you take the initiative, for change ? See the woman he loves assume one’s animality, declaring loud and clear that she physically desires it is a powerful aphrodisiac for a man. Let your impulses speak. And don’t hesitate to tell her that you feel fulfilled and fulfilled on the sex side, that you love her body, her skin, her smell, her way of making love to you… Verbal caresses are as exciting as manual caresses.

Dare to say no when you have no desire

In a couple, each has periods with and periods without, and the two cannot always be desired at the same time with the same intensity. Fatigue, stress, the constraints of everyday life and work mean that we don’t always have the head to that. The momentary drop in desire is commonplace and it is better to talk about it frankly to prevent it from setting in. When the head thinks “no”, saying or doing “yes” is not the solution, because forcing oneself leads to resentment towards one’s partner who does not even realize the lack of desire. Dialogue is the only way to avoid misunderstandingss, loss of self-confidence, the feeling that you have to force yourself so that the other does not feel less loved … Recognize that you do not want to make love, learn to say no by explaining why, reassuring the other about the love we have for him allows the wave to pass. Do not make love does not mean renouncing all sensuality, When your libido drops, don’t deprive the other of hugs, tenderness, affection and sweet words.

Accept your desires to test new sexual practices

Women have gained their professional, financial and family independence, and the time is long gone when it was considered that a woman who assumes her wishes is not respectable. Do not hesitate to verbalize to your companion that you want to try new practices, foreplay, positions, caresses, sex toys and sexual games that you have not yet tried together. Don’t be paralyzed by fear to look like a bad girl. Before you share your wishes, you have to identify them. Take the time to imagine on your own, how you would like to make love to your partner, the caresses you would like him to give you. View the steamy scenes from the movies you saw that got you horny, get inspired by your erotic readings. Think of the music that you would like, the smells, the decoration, the accessories, the caresses, the massages, anything that would enchant your five senses. Once you are clear on your desires, get started. This is the only way to expand your repertoire, to discover still unknown erogenous zones, to enrich your knowledge of the other, to experience more pleasure together and to avoid falling into repetitive and boring routine sexuality.

Avoid too touchy subjects

If communication around sexuality is essential, there are nevertheless taboo subjects that iIt is better for everyone to keep safe in their secret garden. First thing not to say: what do you think about when you have sex. If you think of Brad Pitt, your new colleague or his best mate during your lovemaking, don’t say a word about it, even if he asks you out of curiosity. Another subject to avoid absolutely: your sex life before him. Even if the comparisons with your exes are to his advantage, there is no need to mention your past prowess or disappointments. What matters is what you do together. If it is welcome that you evoke your sexual pleasure in his arms, do not say that you happen to fake it. A man accepts very badly the idea that he does not give pleasure to his partner, and even more badly the idea that she is pretending! Bypass this thorny subject by talking about naughty stuff you might like to try… Solo pleasures are also part of everyone’s secret garden. No need to tell your sweetheart that you enjoy fondling yourself in the bath or with your favorite vibrating toy. It’s up to you, just as going to sexy sites is up to him. Sexuality doesn’t stop with intercourse of the couple, and there is no harm in doing good on your own!

Dare to talk about your mutual fears

We all have certain blockages, some concerns about sexuality, we all ask ourselves questions. For women, the fear of being too stuck, of not being a good lover, of not being in the norm. For men, the fear of not having an erection, of being a lover in too much of a hurry… All these fears around our performance cease to be a problem from the moment they are said. Don’t hide them, don’t be ashamed, on the contrary, evoke them together. This sincerity will allow you to tame them, to overcome them and will bring you even closer to each other.

Give him areas for improvement

Like many women, you believe that because your man loves you, he will guess how to give you the maximum pleasure. Fault ! No one has the capacity to know what appeals to you most if you don’t say it. Make suggestionss, give him the type of hugs you prefer and guide him for him to make the adjustments that will increase your enjoyment. If you just tell your sweetheart that you don’t like him to knead your breasts, he won’t know that what you love is that he brushes them gently… Talk to your body too!  Express your expectations by suggestive attitudes, glances, an accelerating breath. You can also guide his hand to show him the rhythm and pressure that suit you, teach him to stroke other erogenous zones in your body. In short, do not remain passive, express yourself, give him the instructions, and it will do wonders!