9 Signs of Hidden Depression in Outwardly Successful People

If a person does not want to talk about painful experiences, how to determine that something is wrong with him? How can friends and relatives help him if they do not see obvious signs of depression? But what if the patient himself does not suspect about it? Here are a few signs of this disorder to be aware of.

1. Perfectionism and self-criticism

A moderate tendency to perfectionism is normal, as is the desire to do everything as best as possible. Covert depression sufferers constantly berate themselves for their flaws and failures. They forgive themselves for not being able to do things that don’t matter, like ice skating or telling funny stories. But if the sphere is important to them, everything should be at the highest level. The perfect mother, the best student, the successful lawyer. They constantly evaluate their status and, if they fall short of perfection, they begin to adjust themselves.

2. Excessive sense of responsibility

These people have an extremely developed sense of duty and loyalty, you can always rely on them. They are the first to notice problems and start looking for solutions. They make excellent leaders, but at the same time they are not good at delegating responsibilities, they are in a hurry to blame themselves for everything, instead of taking a sober look at the situation. Often because of this, they are manipulated by those around them.

3. Trouble expressing negative emotions

They deny anger, suppress sadness, do not allow themselves to experience disappointment. They don’t know what words to express these emotions, they mostly think, but don’t feel, reflect, analyze, think objectively.

4. Anxiety due to situations that cannot be controlled

It is difficult for these people to live in the present: relax after a workout, sit with guests at the table, enjoying food.

Their need for control is strong, they constantly worry about what can happen and deprive them of this control. At the same time, they try to hide their anxiety, so that others may not be aware of their torment: “You are always so carefree and never worry about trifles!” Often they are diagnosed with eating or obsessive-compulsive disorders, sometimes they suppress anxiety with alcohol or sedatives.

5. Success as the only way to feel value

“Your worth is determined by your latest success or failure” is their motto. Constant activity and achievements help to hide inner insecurities and fears.

We are all affected to some degree. We rejoice in the promotion at work, we are touched by a letter of gratitude for the help. Efforts and successes are important to us, but such people value themselves solely for deeds and merits, this is the problem.

6. Concern for the welfare of others

Those suffering from latent depression sincerely care about others and take care of them. At the same time, they hide any manifestations of their own weakness or vulnerability from others, do not share painful memories with anyone, so that no one knows that they also sometimes feel tired, loneliness, and emptiness.

The situation becomes dangerous if a person has suicidal thoughts, and he cannot share them with anyone. If he decides to do this, it is likely that he will not be taken seriously: “You? Depression? Everything in your life is great!” This can completely crush him.

7. Demonstrative indifference to what excites

Such people know how to put off pain, sadness, disappointment, fear, anger in order to deal with them later. This allows them to deny the impact of life experiences that cause heartache. “Nothing terrible happened to me, others have experienced nothing like that,” they often say.

8. The belief that you should be happy with what you have

Everyone should be grateful for what fate has given. It helps to maintain optimism and mental health. These people experience guilt and shame if they show compassion for themselves and admit that not all is well in their lives.

9. Career success and relationship problems

True intimacy requires vulnerability, openness, insecurity, and this is hard for a person prone to hidden depression. Despite their productivity and numerous professional achievements, such people find it difficult to establish emotional contact. Often they choose partners who are not able to open up. Their relationship is built on what they do for each other, not what they become for each other. Often, spouses are primarily concerned with children and family matters, rather than relationships.

Not all of these signs appear in everyone who may be suffering from depression, however, if you find some of them in yourself or someone from your friends and relatives, this is an occasion to think.

About the Developer

Margaret Rutherford – clinical psychologist. Her broker.


Source: PsychoCentral.

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