Contents
- 1. You live with a sense of well-being
- 2. You hear yourself
- 3. You use other ways to express your feelings.
- 4. Your self-care goes beyond sex.
- 5. You don’t take other people’s emotions to heart
- 6. You don’t see sex as the cure-all.
- 7. You allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable.
- 8. Your Sexual Energy Is Balanced
- 9. You care about personal boundaries.
There is no secret that sex plays a significant role in relationships: if there are any problems with it, then this affects other areas of the couple’s life. However, sex should not be at the forefront and be a universal solution to all issues. How to distinguish healthy sexual relationships from those in which we lose control over ourselves and our desires?
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1. You live with a sense of well-being
And it’s not about wealth at all: if you are in a healthy sexual relationship, then you experience a sense of security and satisfaction with the quality of your life in general. There is no place for anxiety, alienation and shame.
2. You hear yourself
You and your partner read not only your feelings, but also the reactions of your body. So, you can safely admit your own emotional vulnerability, some physical discomfort, or just not wanting sex in the moment. And, of course, do not torture each other in pursuit of impressions and orgasms.
3. You use other ways to express your feelings.
Sex is great, but not the only way to release your emotions. For this there is creativity: for example, performing music, dancing, drawing or writing. And this activity does not have to be done alone.
4. Your self-care goes beyond sex.
You realize that healthy sexuality isn’t the only thing that’s important in taking care of yourself. This understanding comes most quickly when you begin to experience pleasure in connecting with yourself in other ways: taking a hot bubble bath, making a cup of tea before bed, or dancing in the rain.
5. You don’t take other people’s emotions to heart
Instead of taking your partner’s feelings personally and reacting emotionally to them, you try to understand them: what is really bothering a person? What is hidden behind his dissatisfaction with allegedly you and your actions?
Of course, open communication is important for any area of our life, but especially for sexual. Therefore, the fact that you hear your partner even when he cannot openly talk about his feelings makes your relationship much better.
6. You don’t see sex as the cure-all.
Of course, coping with fatigue, disappointment and other life difficulties is not easy. The main thing is not to do it on a regular basis through sex. There are other “tools” for this: favorite music, keeping a diary, playing sports, talking with friends, meditating or visiting a psychotherapist.
7. You allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable.
Often, people, fearing betrayal, hide their feelings and even sexualize them: they refuse to admit their true reason and turn conversations about them into the topic of sex. Healthy sexual relationships are different because you understand that vulnerability plays a central role in them.
8. Your Sexual Energy Is Balanced
Your sexuality is not expressed in extremes, which means it does not fluctuate from excessive sexual tension to complete sexual repression. Through maturity, experience, and working together with a partner, you can control your flow of sexual energy and not depend on it.
9. You care about personal boundaries.
There are always a lot of problems with personal boundaries: someone does not know how to build their own and therefore violates others, and someone does not recognize their significance at all – how much they help to ensure the comfort of both partners. When you learn together to set and maintain your boundaries in sex, you allow your relationship to be open and secure at the same time.