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Happy couples don’t fall by chance. They arise when two imperfect people make a commitment to work on themselves and on improving their relationship. Such partners are distinguished by the following features.
1. Realistic expectations of love
Falling in love is easy, keeping love is another matter. Building long-term relationships is always hard. There will be many ups and downs along the way. In strong relationships, partners anticipate problems and plan in advance how to overcome them.
2. Positive attitude
Happy partners don’t assume the worst. Faced with a mistake, do not exaggerate. Forgot to pick up dry cleaning, didn’t fill up the car? This is not a reason to believe that he does not care at all or thinks only of himself. There is nothing wrong with this. Even loving partners make mistakes sometimes.
3. Partnership, not rivalry
Perhaps at work or in sports competitions, the spirit of competition is good. But competition in a couple is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Enjoy each other’s company, leave the competitive spirit for other areas.
4. A responsibility
When a problem arises, everyone first of all thinks if it is not their fault. For example, if the finances are at zero, he asks himself: “What did I spend too much money on?” This does not mean that the blame always lies with one person. But in healthy couples, partners start with themselves before making claims to the other. And in the unhealthy, on the contrary, they point fingers at each other and relieve themselves of responsibility.
5. The trust
In healthy relationships, people trust each other. They believe in the honesty and devotion of their partner, they feel loved, they are not tormented by suspicion and jealousy. They know that the partner is trying to save the relationship.
6. Care
We are encouraged to listen to our hearts. But putting your needs first and ignoring your partner’s needs is a road to nowhere. Try to give your partner «emotional» gifts. For example, agree to have regular dinners with his parents. Gratitude will not keep you waiting. Loving people put their energy into caring for each other.
7. Openness
Sex and money, desires and disappointments. If the relationship is healthy, we want to know what the partner thinks and feels, even if the truth may be unpleasant.
8. Development
A partner who charmed at the time of meeting will change over time. You can resist change or accept it. Healthy couples support new hobbies, career aspirations, and interests that a partner develops. If something is bothering you, you can always discuss it and overcome difficulties. It is important to develop and change together, and this requires partnerships.
9. Respect
Partners in healthy alliances discuss even the most unpleasant and important issues with respect for each other. They may argue and even raise their voices, but they never stoop to insults.
If most of the items on the list fit the description of your couple, congratulations: you have a healthy and harmonious relationship. If not, this is something to think about.