9 Rules for a Healthy Relationship

Even the happiest couples are not immune from conflicts, but despite quarrels, some people manage not only to create strong relationships, but also maintain them for many years. What is their secret, family psychologists explain.

1. They are not shy about complimenting their partner in public.

“Happy spouses never get tired of praising each other in front of friends, children, relatives and even colleagues,” explains psychologist and coach Samantha Rodman.

In unhealthy relationships, partners often criticize each other in conversations with others. Simple phrases like “My husband can fix everything” or “My wife cooks the best meals in the world” help maintain a close bond between partners.

2. They always find time for each other

“In a strong relationship, partners find time every day to spend time together,” says psychotherapist Kurt Smith. “For example, they walk the dog together, talk for a long time when the children fall asleep, or watch TV shows together.”

3. They laugh easily and often

“My husband and I laugh at something every now and then,” says psychologist Marie Land. “We can’t be depressed for long, because one of us will definitely say or do something to cheer both of us up. Of course, sometimes you can not do without serious conversations. But for those couples who try not to take life too seriously and laugh more often, it is easier to build a healthy relationship.”

4. They appreciate each other’s virtues

“I constantly meet couples who endlessly complain about each other,” explains family counselor and psychotherapist Aaron Anderson. – Most often, we are talking about the most common problems that almost all couples face. In a healthy relationship, partners do not focus on problems and complaints, but first of all pay attention to the positive sides of each other and do not hesitate to exchange compliments.

5. They know how to put themselves in the place of a partner.

“It helps them overcome the lack of understanding that sometimes arises in any relationship,” says couples therapist Kari Carroll. “Empathy is good for resolving any conflicts, and those of my clients who have it can say to their partner: “I can’t agree with you here, but I can understand why you felt this way (a).” At the same time, the partner feels that he is being carefully listened to, understood and appreciated.

6. They always tell their partner when they get home.

“Relationship problems often arise because one of the spouses does not understand how the other lives, or it seems to him that they are starting to be ignored,” advises psychologist Samantha Rodman. “A simple call or text message to let your partner know when you’re back from work or a meeting with friends/girlfriends will help him or her stop worrying about it and strengthen your relationship even more.”

7. They never stop flirting

“Flirting is a great way to show your partner your love and have some fun in addition,” says Aaron Anderson. – Without it, relationships become gray and boring. In a healthy relationship, partners continue to flirt with each other even years later.”

8. They know how to sort things out honestly

“Even during the conflict, the spouses do not scold each other with the last words and labels,” explains psychotherapist Kurt Smith. – I often hear how partners are not shy about making caustic comments and hurtful remarks, and then dismiss that they were “just kidding.” In a healthy relationship, partners always treat each other with love and respect.”

9. They know how to forgive

“Partners are able to admit their mistakes, apologize and leave what happened in the past,” adds psychologist Marie Land. “Recent disagreements don’t lead to emotional separation from each other and don’t stop them from having a good time together.”

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