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The coronavirus is spreading, the requirements for social distancing are getting stricter, and the discomfort is getting stronger. But the best way to cope with the pandemic has not yet come up with. Psychologist Juliana Brains shares evidence-based advice on how to reduce the pain of broken social bonds.
Distancing means the rejection of almost all social contacts, literally “imprisonment” within four walls for an indefinite period. This is a very important measure: it is believed that only self-isolation can slow down the spread of infection and prevent the collapse of hospitals.
But solitude can take a serious toll on the mental and physical health of many, especially those who are single. To reduce anxiety, use evidence-based ideas. And maybe you will find positive aspects in quarantine.
1. Communicate regularly by phone or video
Of course, video chats are inferior to live communication, but it’s much better than nothing. Video chats (FaceTime, Zoom, Skype) have the advantage of allowing us to see each other’s facial expressions. Studies have proven that this technology alleviates bouts of loneliness and depression.
Replace canceled events with their online counterparts, get together with friends, colleagues, family members for games, a joint dinner, watching performances, a virtual trip to museums. Even a 10-minute online inclusion can cheer you up, and creating a daily or weekly schedule will give you a sense of perspective, the ability to anticipate this or that event.
Just be sure to think about those who do not have access to video chats and who will need help and explain how to work with them.
2.Surround yourself with warmth
Curling up under a cozy blanket, taking a hot shower or preparing a cup of tea, you can calm down not only physically, but also psychologically.
American psychologists Tristen Inagaki and Naomi Eisenberger discovered that physical warmth and warm feelings have common neural mechanisms. Physical warmth can mimic the sensation of touch and activate the neural pathways associated with attachment.
Therefore, when we physically feel heat, we involuntarily tune in to warm, emotional relationships. By the way, “comfort food” (foods that evoke pleasant associations from childhood) can be enjoyed for similar reasons: it reminds us of a sense of security and care.
3. Immerse yourself in a fictional world
The best fictional stories are often the ones that make us genuinely anxious and want to care for the characters as if we knew them personally.
Research shows that when we feel lonely, characters in TV shows and books can act as social “substitutes,” helping us feel like we belong to something bigger than ourselves. Therefore, if you are now experiencing the need for binge reading or watching TV shows, know that this is not just indulgence. Such immersion in a fictional world has real psychological bonuses.
It will also distract from compulsive viewing and listening to the news. Yes, it is very important to be in the know, but sometimes our brain needs a rest.
4. Do something nice for others (remotely)
This is one of the best ways to ease loneliness. When we are having a hard time, doing good deeds can give us purpose, a sense of connection with others. Of course, the need to stay at home limits our volunteer opportunities, but there are still ways to help.
The first place to start is to reach out to people you know who may be struggling, such as elderly neighbors or relatives, to make sure they get the food and medicine they need.
Other ways include donations to organizations that save people in need, education and support for political initiatives that are aimed at combating the pandemic, as well as supporting local restaurants and small producers through the purchase of gift cards or delivery of goods.
5. Revisit old photos and memories
If you haven’t gotten around to sorting out your photo archives or backing up your family videos, now is the time. Most likely, you will stumble upon forgotten precious shots and videos – do not be lazy to send them by e-mail to your loved ones in order to remember and relive these wonderful moments together.
To some, nostalgia may seem like a sad emotion, but research shows that it actually has many psychological benefits.
Participants in studies who were asked to recall a happy event from their past later reported that indulging in nostalgia made them feel more secure. Other studies have found a direct link between nostalgia and reduced feelings of loneliness.
6. Find something to do
For those who are able to work from home, work itself can be a good way to keep your mind busy.
But if this is not your situation or if you have too much free time, a good way to fill it up is to participate in some kind of not-too-simple but fun game (if it is possible to do it remotely with friends), or creative activities, drawing or knitting. Tasks that you want to immerse yourself in for a long time help you focus and keep gloomy thoughts under control.
7. Exercise
Movement load is vital for physical and mental health and is especially useful in conditions of forced isolation.
The best option is to take a group fitness lesson/dance class online: there is social support, a clear workout structure, and the enthusiasm that an energetic enthusiastic instructor will inevitably infect you with. As a result, you will get a greater load and more positive emotions than in the case of self-study.
Another option is to find a personal trainer who teaches virtual classes.
8. Listen to music and sing
Everyone remembers the recent events in Italy: its inhabitants across the country sang to each other from balconies to cheer up during the lockdown. Research has proven that singing together (for example, in a choir) is extremely beneficial.
But you can sing alone, and that will help too. Sing along to your favorite artist, for example. This performance also helps to experience a sense of unity, especially when the song evokes a common emotion. Nothing prevents you from attending a virtual concert and supporting your favorite musicians.
9. Pray or Meditate
Many forms of prayer and meditation involve wishing good and well-being for others. Regardless of your religious beliefs, you can find a way to focus your mind on empathy for others, and this activity will be healing for you.
Loving-kindness meditation, for example, involves silently repeating phrases like “wish you health and freedom from suffering” and “wish you happiness” directed at yourself and your loved ones. Then the area of attention gradually expands, covering people around the world and all living things. Research shows that this practice enhances a sense of togetherness as well as self-acceptance.
In such difficult times as now, it is especially useful to feel part of a single human community. Don’t forget that by locking yourself in and sacrificing a fulfilling life, you are protecting a lot of other people, including healthcare workers and those at risk. For many, staying at home, often all alone, is an act of altruism.
About the author: Juliana Brains is a social and personality psychologist. Her research has been published in a number of scientific and popular science journals.