Our mental health requires no less attention than physical health.
A visit to a psychotherapist has become an integral part of our life, as well as a visit to a hairdresser, dental or beautician. If we do not like the color of the hair or the quality of the haircut, we are looking for another master. It’s the same story with psychotherapists. There are a number of signs that the time has come to change the consultant.
He can’t remember the main details of your life.
The therapist is also human and therefore may not remember every detail of your life, especially if you only talked for a short period of time. However, if the therapist does not remember the details of your trauma, your marital status, and the name of your partner you talk about from time to time, then something is wrong with your therapist. And it’s time to look for another.
You can’t fully open up
Yes, sometimes it is embarrassing to start telling intimate details of your life to a complete stranger. However, this is the only way to get the therapy to work in the long term. “A strong bond and trust is the most important thing that should exist between therapist and client. The strength of the relationship will determine how comfortable the client is to be open to the therapist and how safe the client feels when discussing different situations, ”says Jaime Kulaga, Ph.D. “The more comfortable the client feels about discovering the secrets of his soul, the more effectively the therapist can treat them,” she says. “So if you don’t feel comfortable opening up to the therapist, it’s time to look for someone with whom you can be truly open and honest.”
Seeing him is stressful.
While visiting a therapist should be a positive moment in the patient’s life, that does not mean that sessions will always be stress-free, especially when you are investigating trauma. However, if each session is stressful to the point that you are afraid to move on, it’s time to look for someone new. Feelings of negativity and stress that you may experience during therapy make it difficult to open up and deal with trauma, and also make it harder to achieve the goals you set for yourself during the session.
He talks too much about himself and his life.
While one-sided conversation may seem odd to newcomers to therapy, it is important that you, and not the therapist, talk about yourself during the session. If your therapist reveals intimate details of his personal life, complains about what happened to him, or talks to you as a friend and not a client, it’s time to reevaluate your relationship.
“The psychotherapist can tell a little about himself in order to establish rapport or to provide guidance for action, this is normal in small doses,” says Jaime Kulaga. “However, if you feel like you are becoming a therapist yourself and are doing active listening, then it’s time to find a new therapist.”
You feel like you’re being misdiagnosed
Your therapist is a professional, but he is not omniscient. Like any other doctor, the therapist can make mistakes in their diagnoses. However, if you have objected to your therapist’s diagnosis and you feel that you are not being heard, then your therapist does not know how to listen. “You know yourself best. Whether it’s mental health counseling or medical counseling, if you feel like you’re being misdiagnosed, don’t try to convince yourself that you are wrong and that something is wrong with you, says Kulaga. “Get an opinion from another expert.”
Problems may not only be in your head.
His field of activity does not suit your needs
Therapy is not a universal relationship. If you’re looking for a strict Freud, a Gestalt therapist probably won’t suit your needs, and vice versa. “No consultant can be an expert in all areas of consulting,” says Kulaga. “When looking for a psychotherapist, be sure to research their profile and find out if they specialize in your request. If you are already visiting a consultant and feel that he does not have the experience necessary to solve the problem, it is time to find a new one. “
He seems uninterested
A true professional will never show the same interest in your personal problems as your friend. But this does not mean that an atmosphere of disinterest and cold should reign in the air. If your therapist does not delve into what you say, and acts on automatism, there is no fire in his eyes and his whole appearance says that he is tired and bored, it’s time to look for another expert.
He changes his schedule all the time.
Psychotherapists are real people. They get sick, go on vacation, and their children from time to time break their legs or arms in the gym, like everyone else. However, if your therapist constantly changes the schedule of your sessions, you should consider how comfortable you are. If you feel uncomfortable and stressed, it’s time to find someone more professional and respectful of your time.