8 reasons why we are afraid to grow up

As the body and mind mature, we develop, our view of the world changes. We are losing our childhood innocence, we are moving away from fantasy thinking, our ideas about heroes and villains are being transformed, we are experiencing many successes and failures. In childhood, it seems to many that our possibilities are limitless, we are eternal and invincible. Children rarely think about their fragility and mortality. Growing up, we begin to understand that stories rarely end with a happy ending.

What do we lose as we grow up?

1. Children’s fantasies

We forget about children’s fairy tales: unicorns, flying carpets, goblins, mermaids and the like, get rid of rose-colored glasses and develop a more realistic view of the world.

2. Faith in eternal happiness

We begin to understand that nothing lasts forever and that in order to find the princess, you have to kiss a lot of frogs. There are personal tragedies, love ends or turns into something else that does not allow the relationship to continue.

3. Feeling of immortality

Adults, unlike children, understand that they are not eternal, that people get injured, get sick, grow old and die. Wisdom and maturity of thinking come. We begin to understand that all living things must die, and we think about what we will leave behind.

4. Naive simplicity

The path is not as simple as it seemed in childhood. On the contrary, it can be complex, full of steep mountains, gorges, forks and turns.

5. Your heroes

In childhood, parents serve as a support, protect from danger. When they stop protecting us, this is the first significant loss as we grow older. Children usually do not understand that parents are just as fragile, vulnerable, imperfect and mortal. Only over the years we begin to see them as ordinary people, which is often not easy.

6. Impulsivity

An adult cannot afford to be impulsive, he has to weigh the risks and consequences of actions and decisions. Children do not think about the consequences, do not assess the risks before making decisions, possibly life-changing ones.

7. Purpose in life

The end of a career, relationships, and growing up often lead to a loss of purpose in life. It is important to be able to adapt, understanding what changes with age. Events such as retirement, death of a partner, divorce, growing up of children can also lead to feelings of loss and aimlessness.

8. Attractiveness

Those who remain children at heart often tend to exaggerate some of their virtues. They “retain” their youthful appearance, they allegedly do not have wrinkles, excess weight, they do not go bald or gray, they are young physically and mentally. Feeling special, as if they don’t believe in their own mortality. Subconsciously, they are convinced that others are dying, but they themselves are not in danger. They retain a childish defense mechanism — a belief in their invulnerability and omnipotence, which «turns on» every time they begin to worry about death.

When it comes to those who are unwilling or unable to “grow up”, the question arises: “What prevents you from leaving your childhood behind?” The most common causes are fear and force of habit. Fear of possible failures, death, loss of purpose in life. They are fenced off by psychological defenses that impede the growth, development and maturation of the individual.

During the transitional period between childhood and adulthood, they are overcome by fear, as if they split into a child and a parent. As they grow older, they continue to treat themselves in the same way as their parents treated them in childhood — both loving and punishing. As a result, they are torn between the role of parent and child, and this reinforces their immaturity. A mature person without excessive psychological defenses is aware of the loneliness and unpredictability of life. By changing our perception of the world as we grow older, we gain opportunities for self-discovery, self-expression, and joy.

Source: blogs.psychcentral.com