PSYchology

End relationships that have outlived their usefulness. Change boring and unpromising work. Start a new business. Move to another country. Go study. Sometimes we understand that it is time to change our lives, but we cannot decide, because change is a risk. Psychotherapist Alain Eril is sure that in order to understand whether you are ready to start a new life, you need to answer 8 questions.

It is always difficult to change life, the path to the renewed «I» is difficult and thorny. However, sometimes it is simply necessary. The main thing is to understand whether you are ready for change. To do this, sincerely answer these questions.

1. Are you ready to admit your vulnerability?

“I contact losers every now and then”, “friends always betray me”, “at work they do not recognize my merits” … To realize recurring life scenarios means to see the possibility of change. But this is not so easy, because you have to come to terms with the idea that you are subject to the action of some force against which you can do nothing. You need help to deal with it. But are you ready to admit your helplessness?

2. Can you take some of the responsibility?

It is easier to shift the blame for one’s situation to relatives or society than to admit one’s responsibility. But in order to change yourself, you need to become the master of your life again, and not a victim. It is impossible to change others and it is pointless to hope that they will change us. Are you ready to stop complaining and shift responsibility to others?

3. Are you ready to take a step into the unknown?

Even when we are absolutely not satisfied with a job or relationship, it is easier for us not to change anything than to take risks. It could get even worse! Embarking on the path of change, we decide to overcome the fear of the unknown, take a step into the void, abandon the usual social circle and established rituals. You may have to suffer even more to get better later. Are you ready to go beyond the usual?

4. Can you cut some ties?

To become a new version of yourself, sometimes you need to stop living up to the expectations of parents and loved ones. We will have to abandon the habitual image that has developed among ourselves and those around us. In this case, you are likely to lose friends or become less likely to communicate with someone close to you. Imagine that for the sake of your dream job you will have to move to another country and you will not be able to see your best friend every weekend. Are you ready for such changes?

5. Are you ready to redefine your values?

Any personal change entails spiritual changes and gives rise to a new view of the world. Your feelings, feelings, values, ideas about relationships — everything will have to be reconsidered. It requires involvement, strength, energy, willingness to give in.

Inner changes are possible only when we are truly involved in the work. I’ll have to stop going with the flow

For example, you have always believed that the most important thing for you is your family. You have it, but you are still unhappy. Can you sacrifice your family for a career? Are you ready to question what you have always believed?

6. Do you understand that not everything can be changed?

Working on our own «I» allows you to discover hidden resources, but at the same time shows our boundaries. We become stronger, but not omnipotent. Imagine an artist who has used only three colors in his paintings for years and suddenly discovers that he has many more at his disposal. His palette has expanded, the chances of painting a dream have increased, but his talent and inspiration still have a limit. And, perhaps, even with a new arsenal, he will be disappointed. Are you ready to know your limits?

7. Are you ready to take matters into your own hands?

Inner changes are possible only when we are truly involved in the work. You have to stop going with the flow. You need to regain your voice and use all your courage. And this means that you will have to talk heart to heart, for example, with an authoritarian boss or with your parents. Are you ready to give up the passive role?

8. Are you ready to go all the way?

It happens that the newfound freedom pushes you to stop and return to your previous comfort zone. Intermediate achievements may seem like enough reward for your efforts. It may seem to you that you have reached your goal, proved everything to yourself and others, which means you can go back. Let’s say you decide to end the relationship and move away from your partner. Is it worth going back to him if he begs you about it and promises to change? All decisions must be made consciously and deliberately.

Are you ready to hold out for as long as it takes and not try to run away from yourself?

Leave a Reply