8 principles for working with special children

Ordinary children are naturally “programmed” for learning and development. They respond quickly to everything new, try, take risks, they have internal incentives that help them move forward. A child with developmental disabilities – regardless of his diagnosis – needs additional stimulation, help from adults in order to learn new skills and explore the world.

In order for this assistance to be truly effective, parents should take into account several important principles of interaction with such a child. They are told by Sarah Newman, who herself raised a son with developmental disabilities and wrote one of the best practical guides in this area – “Games and activities with a special child.”

1. Give your child more time to respond than you think is enough.

When asking a child a question, all parents wait for some time for an answer. They do it unconsciously. Studies have shown that the “waiting time” for most of them is about the same. However, a child with special needs takes longer, so parents should wait longer than instinct would suggest.

Children with cerebral palsy have difficulty controlling their facial muscles: it takes time for them to return a smile to a smile. When, while playing with your child, you expect a verbal response, smile, or other reaction from him, wait as long as your intuition tells you, and then silently count to ten. Don’t rush the child. Be patient.

2. Persistently repeat your words and actions

To get the child to understand and respond, you may have to repeat it over and over and over again. You may feel like you’re trying to break a wall with your head, but sooner or later, perseverance will pay off.

3. Get your child’s attention

One of the biggest challenges for parents is the lack of responsiveness that children with special needs often exhibit. It is extremely difficult to constantly give a child love, time, attention and care and receive nothing in return. All that remains for you is not to give up and continue to love him. Sooner or later you will receive your reward, however modest.

To get your child’s attention when you are going to play or study with him, first of all do something extraordinary, not like what he is used to. Try to make your face “interesting”, not boring for the child. You can, for example:

• Smile widely and often.
• Build faces – wrinkle your nose, raise your eyebrows.
• Make funny sounds.
• Put on something unusual: an extravagant hat, unusual glasses (very large, colored, curly), large bright earrings, a “clown” nose, a mask.
• Colorize your face.

You can also lightly blow on his cheek. Or even just sit very still and still. A change in behavior can get more attention than a flurry of activity. Never force a child to look at you, no matter how hard and long he makes contact.

4. Use all of his senses

Most children with special needs learn new things more easily if adults try to use all of their senses. This is especially important for children with perceptual disabilities, but a multisensory approach is very useful for those who suffer from a lack of communication skills.

Remember the phrase: “I heard, I saw, I did!” Instead of just telling the child about a subject, include other ways of perceiving. When it comes to fruit, show him the fruit, let him hold it, smell it, play with it, and taste it. A real object is perceived much easier than a picture in a book.

Many children perceive visual images better than words. Therefore, it is not enough just to show or tell the child what you are doing, he must try to perform the same action himself. You can use the “hand in hand” method – take the child’s hands in yours and help him.

Even adults often face this: listening to an explanation, we seem to understand everything, and after five minutes everything that has been said disappears from memory. What we remember much better is what we saw, or tried to do ourselves, or wrote down – in a word, when assimilation is accompanied by actions that help to fix new information in memory.

Use:

1. Toys, which are interesting to look at (brightly colored, toys with flashing lights, soap bubbles, various flashlights and unusual lamps).

2. Physical movements. Rock the baby on your lap, tickle, hug, roll on the bed, circle around you, toss and catch, jump up and down with the baby in your arms.

3. Sounds. Play musical instruments and sing your favorite songs. Play the xylophone with your child, use “sounding” toys, take him to concerts, listen to street musicians with him.

4. Scents. Try making scent boxes. Take a few small boxes, for example from under the Tick-tock dragee, fill them with odorous substances (spices, coffee, tea, crushed orange peels) and let the child smell it. Use aromatherapy oils.

5. Touch. Let the child feel objects made of materials that cause various tactile sensations: smooth (silk and velvet), rough, prickly (hairbrush), cold, warm, hard (stone), soft (fur), etc.

5. Be consistent and predictable in your actions

Children love a clear daily routine and the constancy of the environment, because they want to understand what is happening around them and be able to predict events: this gives them a sense of confidence and security.

If a child suffers from cognitive impairments or a lack of communication skills, it may be difficult for him to understand what is happening around him. It is all the more important to organize his life according to the principle of clear repetition and constancy.

Avoid abrupt changes in the environment: for example, if the child has impaired vision, do not change or rearrange the furniture in the apartment. Be consistent and constant in your reactions to the child’s behavior (especially bad).

Create a schedule for him: the child should get up, go to bed, have lunch at the same time. Follow clear rules of behavior: for example, “you can only eat and drink while sitting at the table.” However, the schedule should not interfere with life, so some variation in it is acceptable and even necessary in order to prevent the unhealthy fixation on the schedule, which is characteristic of some children.

6. Generalize the acquired skills

The words “a child is fluent in such and such a skill” mean that he is able to perform the required action not only with his toys, but also with unfamiliar objects, not only at home with his parents, but also in an unfamiliar environment and in front of strangers. In particular, doctors and psychologists always check the child’s progress in this way.

If parents report that the child has learned to match objects by color, he must demonstrate his ability not only with the set on which he trained at home, but also with unfamiliar things. Give him the opportunity to test himself more often: offer unfamiliar items for the game, encourage him to play in different settings.

7. Don’t get stuck on one skill

Parents often fixate on one skill and develop it as diligently as if their child’s life depended on it. This can happen because people around are constantly asking: “Is he already sitting?”, “Well, has he already gone?” or may be related to the parents’ own ideas about what is most important to the child.

In any case, such a “stuck” is harmful. A child is a whole person, his skills develop in a complex way, in interaction with each other, and it is difficult to isolate one skill from the rest.

For example, in order to put an object in a box, the child must master both physical skills – the ability to take and let go of the object, and intellectual skill – the ability to compare the sizes of the box and the object. Learning one skill can have a beneficial effect on learning others, even if the connection between them is not obvious. Developing communication skills helps a child better understand people’s feelings and reactions and thus influence behavior.

8. Always get things done

If you ask a child to do a task, but he does not want or cannot do it, do it for him, saying, for example: “Okay, then mom will do it.” The child should feel that his occupation is an important task that needs to be completed. If you just shrug your shoulders and move on to something else, the child gets the impression that no one really needs his success.