Contents
Hello dear readers! Everyone in life, despite the number of close and valuable people nearby, had a feeling of emptiness inside, it seemed that there was no one to share their thoughts and feelings with, that no one understands and that now it will always be like this. And today we will look for answers to such an important question: “Loneliness, what to do to make it easier?”
Classification
Before proceeding to action, let’s consider for what reasons a person can feel that he is alone in this world.
- Without seniors. That is, if there is not enough experience in something, we need a person who has already encountered a similar situation and can give advice, tell his story, and simply support. This is the one to whom you can complain, share your fears. And just say, for example, that you are tired of coping with something or tired of being alone …
- Without equal. There is no one who shares the opinion, with whom views on life are similar, to understand that I am not the only one in this world.
- No juniors. It is important not only to receive, but also to give, warmth, accumulated knowledge, experience, love, care, and so on. Getting something from the stronger and more experienced, it is necessary to pass on. For example, this is how values and knowledge are passed from generation to generation. When a child, receiving care and love from parents, grows up, becomes able to raise their own children.
- Gender, that is, the need for a family partner, the desire to love and be loved.
- Professional. It is important for a person to feel his belonging to some group, this is one of the components of his identity, understanding his place in this world …
Recommendations
1. Do nothing
If you realize that it has become unbearably sad and sad, the very first thing you should do is do nothing. Because sometimes, being frightened of this state, a person tries to escape from it, throwing himself headlong into the first relationships that come across, in which, over time, he begins to realize that it has become even worse. Or he tries to “merge” with another person, perceiving him as a whole.
This is justified for babies, because it increases the chance of survival, since they are not able to take care of themselves on their own. But now, for a grown-up and adult person, this moment will in any case be destructive and useless. Do you know why? Because figuratively, “merging” with another, a person loses his boundaries, that is, he ceases to understand where he ends and another begins.
Well, for example, a partner loves some kind of dish, and then, without relying on their feelings, one can also assume that they really like it. And it also happens that when running away, you can run past someone with whom it was quite possible to share intimacy. So, no matter how painful and difficult, stop. Do not rush without looking back, so as not to «fly» into obstacles that you do not have time to see.
2. The importance of being alone
Remember, if you cannot be alone with yourself, then you cannot be in contact with another person. Anyone who has fully felt this state will appreciate the relationship in the future, he will be able to “immerse” in them and be near. And just then, noticing his separation from the other and differences with him, he will feel closeness, he will understand that he is not alone in this world, but the soul has finally calmed down.
And if it’s not easy for you right now, just think about the resourcefulness of such a state, allow yourself to be in it without running away, without trying to get distracted. Since the attention is directed deep into yourself, then take advantage of this moment, explore every corner, for example, what do you like and what do you not? What do you want, besides intimacy, and why, by the way, do you need it? What if you discover something important and valuable that will help you find harmony?
So the moment it becomes unbearable, start interviewing yourself. It is recommended to write down questions and answers, so the process of awareness will improve, and later it will be possible to compare what you were and what you have become. Watch your reactions, how they treat you, take tests, which, by the way, you can find on the blog.
Make a list of goals, prioritize your life and explore what is included in your value system. Describe what kind of man or woman you are, what you know how and what qualities you possess? What part of you, both physical and moral, can be interesting for a partner? What feelings arise, and in what situations? How do you express them and how do you deal with them? How do you cope with stress and generally react to difficulties? See how much work?
After all, what do they usually do when they are lonely? They suffer and think how bad everything is, gradually driving themselves into the clutches of depression. But if you take advantage of the situation to get closer to yourself, you will acquire a lot of new resources that will help you in the future. Be interesting to yourself — then you will become attractive to others. Be sure to check out the article on self-love.
3. Creativity
Creativity helps to express something that cannot be expressed in the usual way. Especially when it is not clear how to deal with some feelings and thoughts. Take, for example, a sheet of paper and paint, let your hand make strokes without turning on consciousness, that is, do not evaluate the quality of the drawing, do not worry that you do not have artistic abilities.
What you need at the moment is not the beauty and correctness of the lines, you need to release your feelings outward, on paper, even if you do not understand what is happening inside you. Allow yourself to be released, and, paradoxically, then you will experience saturation.
4. Work on self-esteem
Nothing hits her so hard as the realization that you are lonely, which means that you are somehow clumsy, not interesting, not developed and not good enough to meet someone with whom you can feel closeness, with whom a sense of calm will arise. and finally, harmony will come.
In fact, these are illusions that if you become more beautiful and smarter, then others will notice, appreciate and loneliness will recede. If your self-esteem has suffered even a little, then you need to restore it, use the recommendations from the article about self-confidence.
5. Is loneliness a feeling?
If you are overtaken by a state of emptiness and uselessness, loneliness in the presence of other people, when, in fact, you are not physically alone, but in experiences you are directly isolated from others, then before you get upset that no one needs and so on, think, but it’s interesting Do you like the company in which you are currently located? And in general, is this what you want right now?
Maybe you dreamed of lying in bed and watching an interesting movie, but you were not allowed to do this, because you were invited to visit? Or is it really that their interests are too different with them, why there is no desire to even talk? What if you are just afraid that you will be rejected, so you do not make attempts to talk to someone?
You ply between couples and groups, expecting that they will pay attention and really break through the wall of experiences that “covered” you. In order to unobtrusively and have fun talking, and until this happens, along with anxiety, do you feel a sense of your uselessness?
In this case, learn to take care of yourself and take the first step as soon as you recognize your interest in someone. Confess by saying, for example: «I’m afraid to get acquainted,» and immediately go to act. It’s scary only at first, but it’s worth taking the risk, talking, as anxiety and excitement recede, ceasing to “paralyze” and limit.
6. Exaggerated demands
Sometimes isolation from others arises due to the fact that a person has too high demands, he expects a downright mythical creature that does not come and does not come into his life. Describe the qualities that the one you let into your life should have, and think, but in principle, is it really possible for such a character to exist somewhere in this world?
And if so, then the next task, perhaps not too pleasant — think, why are you so good that he, so perfect, wants to be around? And after all, look back mentally, maybe you just don’t notice that in your life there is already one or another who appreciates you, and with whom it is possible to share your sorrows, sorrows and joys? Who will hear, understand and support, no matter what, just does not match according to some characteristics you invented?
7. Envy
In the article about envy, we learned that, in fact, envy is a marker that helps to understand what I want. So, if you want a relationship, because neighbors, godfathers or someone else seems so happy in a couple, then do not forget that someone else’s family, like the soul, is dark, and you are about a lot that is happening with them alone you may not know.
And also that loneliness is a subjective feeling and “covers” regardless of whether you have a partner or not. So, discard your fantasies on the topic: “If only, yes, if only …” and use the recommendations described in the article about envy.
8. Depression
If you are visited by thoughts that, for example: “I’m going crazy” or “I can’t do this anymore”, seek help from someone so as not to bring yourself to a state of depression. If you do not let out emotions, they will destroy your body. So try talking to at least someone, go in for sports to lose energy and see the article «How to find a way out of depression yourself: the most effective methods.»
Conclusion
And that’s all for today, dear readers! And finally, I recommend reading an article about resentment and ways to deal with it. Take care of yourself, develop, train and follow your dreams! Good luck, strength and inspiration!