Contents
Hello dear readers! Resilience in psychology is the ability to withstand stress. Show your best qualities, no matter what, develop, overcome various obstacles, not being afraid to take risks and act.
It is also optimistic to look at life and learn from negative situations in order not to make mistakes in the future that lead to loss and do not help to achieve what you want. The ability to understand life processes and to receive satisfaction and joy at the same time. And also respect others and help those who are weaker.
And today we will look at ways that will help increase your level of stress resistance.
Where does it come from?
It is not inborn, but is developed in the course of life. Psychological traumas received in childhood do not always leave behind mental pain, fears, insecurity, and so on. Sometimes they are very temperamental.
Having coped with something at an early age, a person becomes more powerful blows of fate. Which he will not only endure, but will also benefit from them, for example, by learning something that will advance him in development.
Such a trauma can be the divorce of parents, their death, frequent moves, changes in kindergartens and schools. The occurrence of serious diseases not only in a child, but also in adults who are dear to him or live nearby. Even material difficulties can have a positive impact on the ability to withstand stress, find a way out of difficult situations.
Harden not only difficulties
But the presence of difficulties in the life of a child does not necessarily help him survive in the future, the support of relatives can be the foundation on which he will rely in the future. Even if they are no longer alive.
Introjects, that is, statements, thoughts, ideas received from significant people, can “live” deep inside in the bowels of the subconscious almost until the end of his days. Just remember, when you are trying to make a decision, does it happen that, for example, your mother’s voice appears in your head? And when you want to do something, then before your eyes is a grandmother’s face that looks reproachfully?
This is what introjects are. Sometimes they help a person survive and develop, and sometimes, on the contrary, interfere with him, limiting and stopping him.
Resilience is also affected by the recognition of relatives that their child is special, possessing some kind of talent or ability. Last but not least, accept him for who he is.
Accordingly, those who did not feel the support of loved ones are more difficult to cope with life’s troubles. He did not understand and still does not understand the meaning of his existence. I did not receive attention, parental involvement in life.
In such cases, self-esteem tends to decrease. And, as you know, individuals who do not believe in themselves are unlikely to take risks and check whether this is really so, or they are still mistaken and were afraid in vain.
Research by Salvatore Maddi
Susan Cobase was the first to use the term «hardiness». But it was Salvator Maddi who was remembered for his research, thanks to which he was able to discover the three main components of stress resistance, which we will talk about a little later.
Muddy worked at the University of Chicago, and around 1975, representatives of the Illinois Telephone Company, which at that time was one of the largest, turned to him and his colleagues for help. They, so to speak, had a crisis, which made it extremely necessary for the intervention of psychologists.
In those years, the US government decided to tighten the laws directly in the field of telecommunications. And this meant that the leaders of these companies had to go to the extreme step — to lay off almost a quarter of the entire staff.
The law was adopted a year before its mandatory implementation, which made the employees in an extremely unpleasant state. They were bewildered and horrified, because they did not know by what criteria the selection would be made. Why each of them was under threat of dismissal.
Just imagine the level of stress they had to endure for 12 months. Afraid to take an extra step to the side or make the slightest mistake.
Results
Muddy studied about 450 managers of this company. He assessed their condition not only by psychological criteria, but also by medical ones.
As a result, he found that about 300 employees very much «surrendered» in terms of health and emotional well-being. There is a concept of stress by Hans Selye, which is that life’s troubles and experience are harmful to the body, causing premature aging and a number of diseases. So, with the help of observations, Salvatore once again managed to confirm this concept.
This part of the employees had difficulties in family and friendly, collective relations. They became more irritable, which affected not only the process of communication, but also the effectiveness of their work. Productivity fell, and along with it, health deteriorated.
There have been many cases of cancer, migraines, problems with blood pressure. There have been attempts to commit suicide in order to get rid of pain and undying anxiety.
And in the remaining third, on the contrary, there was an increase in activity. Their relationships with loved ones only strengthened, their health improved and even chronic diseases stopped bothering them.
They became more employable than before and put forward a number of valuable ideas that favorably affected the efficiency of work. Even if they had to leave the company, they found themselves elsewhere, to the point of starting their own business.
This moment is of great interest to researchers. After all, in fact, being in the same conditions, people behaved differently. Some were victims of circumstances, having lost a lot, while for others, difficulties and uncertainty became the root cause of their success.
Components
By studying the personal characteristics of each employee, Salvatore was able to discover the main components of resilience, which will certainly help not only survive in difficult circumstances, but also succeed significantly, benefit from them. So what did he notice?
Involvement
This concept means “inclusion” of a person in various processes. If you watch something from the side, then over time there will be a feeling that life is passing by. There will be a feeling of total loneliness and self-esteem will decrease.
Because a person who refuses to actively participate in what is happening around her will gradually come to the conclusion that she is not capable of anything.
The one who almost always acts, and does not observe from the outside, enjoys and satiates from his activity. Paradoxically, being in the center of events, he is better protected from the negative effects of stress than the rest.
Do you know why? Because when we get into a whirlwind of events, we experience various emotions, we need to do something, make decisions, and so on. We are in the process. There is simply no time to worry and fantasize, imagining horrors.
Control
A person who understands that he himself is responsible for his life and its quality believes that he is able to positively influence some events. So that they bring him the desired result. If the situation does not lend itself to his influence, he does not give up. And accepts it and tries to adapt to new conditions. Looking for resources and advantages in what happened.
In the opposite case, a person experiences a state of helplessness before any difficulty, which eventually affects his behavior, forming the so-called «learned helplessness».
That is, for example, he is able to change something, but does not take any steps to start acting, because he is convinced in advance of his impotence. And then he suffers under completely simple circumstances that anyone else would overcome in an instant.
Riskiness
A person who is able to take risks believes that any events in her life, even unpleasant ones, are an experience that allows her to develop and become stronger, more conscious, and more resilient.
If she is afraid to take risks, take the first step or change something, she is doomed to degradation. Since it is impossible to gain new experience by acting in the same way. As the saying goes «he who does not take risks, he does not drink champagne.»
Yes, refusal to act when there are no guarantees in the successful outcome of events allows you to take care of your safety. But, on the other hand, not daring to act, you can miss a large number of opportunities.
Methods for increasing resilience
So, as you can see, the above character traits and behavior styles are formed throughout a person’s life, depending on the experience that he has acquired and the conditions in which he is.
And even if for some reason you did not have the opportunity to train your stress resistance, do not despair. We know its main components, respectively, if desired, we can change.
Focus on the benefits
When some kind of trouble occurs, it is quite natural that, being upset, a person is not able to think about the possibilities that it opens up for him. Over time, having cooled down and resigned himself, if he still does not find the strength to discover them, he will “get stuck” in one place, having lost the chance to move forward and become stronger, more successful.
When you are overcome by unpleasant feelings, first of all, try to express them constructively, that is, without destroying yourself and those around you. For example, when angry, beat a pillow, run, shake the press. When sad, cry, complain to a close and dear person.
After that, letting off steam, “turn on” rationality and creative, non-standard thinking. Take a notepad and write at least 5 paragraphs in which you indicate the advantages and opportunities that the “trouble” brings.
We live the way we treat life. If we are able to notice and concentrate only on the bad, then we are unlikely to be considered happy people and experience peace of mind.
Charity
Life’s troubles can lead to despair. When it seems that no one in the world suffers as much as I do. But if you shift the focus of attention from your own personality even a little and look around, you can understand that there are those who need more than me. And if you try to help them, your own difficulties will lose their scale and globality.
For example, most billionaires, even though they were not yet known, were involved in charity work. Some were so poor that they slept on the floor, for lack of a bed, or starved. But still, despite this, they helped others, gave the last.
Flexibility
Learn to be flexible. Principles are, of course, good, they are a support for each of us. But if you follow them steadily, ignoring the fact that they are already doing more harm than good, you can one day «break», unable to withstand the pressure.
You should adapt to new conditions, and not hold on to the old, hoping that it will someday return. The modern world is developing so fast that it is impossible to lose vigilance.
Change your thinking, every time the thought “I can’t” appears in your head, remove the “not” part and immediately proceed to action. Because the limits are only in our head. And only we are able to remove them if we believe in ourselves and our strengths.
Responsibility
To live relaxed, to do nothing and at the same time get everything you want — rather, it is possible only in childhood or if you manage to organize a “parasitic” way of existence for yourself.
A mature person is responsible for his actions. Even if it doesn’t always work out. And if you want to develop resilience, accept the fact that choices must be made daily, from what to cook to choosing a partner for life, profession. How we feel and in what conditions we live depends on our choices.
If I act, I realize my dreams, because I understand that I myself am responsible for my own happiness, I have more chances to become successful. Than someone who is just waiting that one day the stars in the sky will turn out well or a good wizard will come and solve all problems.
Fight bad habits
A person who has a tendency to addictive behavior can hardly be considered resilient. If you smoke, drink, are fond of gambling and virtual games, and so on, then no life attitudes will help maintain health and peace of mind.
At the slightest stress, an addicted person harms his body, instead of coping with it, to see the prospects.
Therefore, declare battle to your bad habits, you are able to cope without them.
Relaxation
In the life of every person, situations arise daily that cause excessive stress. And so that it does not have time to cause damage, it is important to be able to relax and release it.
Learn different breathing techniques, do what makes you happy and practice yoga. Chat with nice people, run, in general, anything, but be sure to relieve stress. Otherwise, it will remain in your body and cause discomfort, both physical and emotional.
Healthy lifestyle
Help yourself by drinking enough water, foods containing the necessary substances for the quality of life of the body. Sleep at the right time and rest.
Then you will feel energy, desire, motivation to act, and not apathy and impotence. You will accumulate resources, not waste them.
Plan your activities
Most people manage to achieve success not only by their willingness to take risks, but also by the ability to properly manage their time, energy and other resources. Be sure to keep a diary in which you will keep track of your goals and prospects. Plan and prioritize.
It is better to spend 10 minutes writing in a notebook than on fears and worries that only limit.
For more information on how to fill out and maintain a diary, you will learn here.
Completion
And that’s all for today, dear readers! Love your life, appreciate it. Understanding the meaning of your existence, it will be much easier to stand against life’s adversities. If you still have not found it, check out the article, which is located at this link.
Happiness to you and, of course, vitality!
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina