8 defense mechanisms of the psyche that prevent you from living happily

Psychological defense is an unconscious mental process, the purpose of which is to minimize negative experiences.

These mechanisms are needed so that a person in unpleasant or painful situations can save himself from pain, stress, shame, or, for example, maintain respect for himself. With their help, our unconscious does not allow us to recognize those facts that our consciousness may “dislike” and protects us from depressive and other non-resource states.

Simply put, when we unconsciously deceive ourselves, it becomes easier for us. This is a good, environmentally friendly function of psychological defenses for a person. But on the other hand, they harm us because they distort reality and make us turn a blind eye to our problems.

So a person accumulates difficulties, dissatisfaction with life, anxiety grows, signs of depression and psychosomatic diseases may appear – migraine, insomnia, vegetative-vascular dystonia and other unpleasant manifestations.

8 psychological defenses

The protective mechanisms of the psyche were discovered and described by Sigmund Freud. We list the most famous of them.

1. Displacement

We often forget what we are ashamed of, what is unpleasant or unprofitable to remember. Once, during a consultation, a woman clearly realized that her common-law husband did not love her. However, at that moment she was not ready to leave him, so the repression worked – and at the end of our session she could no longer remember this realization of hers.

2. Rationalization

A person logically argues the reasons for his inaction and comes up with convincing (albeit biased) explanations for his failures. For example, if romantic relationships don’t work out, people often go to great lengths to convince themselves that they just don’t have time for them. Or that they don’t need it at all, because there are so many interesting things in life.

3. Projection

Sometimes we attribute our own negative qualities, feelings, desires or problems to others. When a person knows about his own shortcoming or problem, but does not want to accept this part of himself, he begins to see the same shortcomings or problems in others (even where they do not exist). This makes it easier for us, because it turns out that we are not the only ones, which means that everything is fine.

4. Sublimation

This is an unconscious switching of negative mental energy to socially useful work. Sublimation is the most useful form of protection because it is often very creative. Many works of science and art are created thanks to unrequited love or unsatisfied sexual desire. But in this case, there is a risk of an imbalance in life, and in this case, one area completely replaces the other. For example, personal life is completely replaced by work.

5. Negation

It allows you to ignore the obvious facts, protecting the psyche from trauma. This is a complete rejection of unpleasant information. Such a reaction often occurs first when a loved one is lost or a disturbing diagnosis is made. A person refuses to believe in a terrible thing that happened.

6. Substitution

The substitution is based on the transfer of an emotional reaction from an inaccessible object to an accessible one. For example, the employer insultingly criticizes the employee, and she breaks down at home on her husband and children. Or a man, having not received reciprocity from his beloved woman, tries to console himself in the arms of another.

8. Regression

In a critical situation, a person returns to earlier, infantile forms of behavior: crying, whims. We remember from childhood that such behavior once guaranteed support and security. Also, this protection works when we subconsciously want to relieve ourselves of responsibility.

9. Jet formation

With this defense, a person demonstrates actions that are opposite to his true experiences. For example, he is in love, but he is afraid of his feelings, therefore he demonstrates aggression. Jet formation is also at the heart of Stockholm Syndrome, where the victim falls in love with the tyrant. This phenomenon is due to the fact that sometimes, when it is impossible to change the situation, we try to adapt to it. Therefore, the psyche instantly replaces one feeling with the exact opposite.

How to overcome psychological defenses and live happily?

Despite the fact that these protections work against our will, they are partly subject to us. Below I will talk about 5 main principles that will help you stay aware and not fall into the trap of false illusions about yourself and your life.

To overcome their negative influence, we need to:

• To know about these psychological defenses is to notice them in oneself and in others.
• Write down your negative feelings about important aspects of life and ask yourself what defense mechanisms might be behind them. This will help to understand the cause of negative emotions, and therefore the real cause of difficulties.
• Be as honest as possible with yourself about the important aspects of life. After all, self-deception only leads to the worsening of already existing problems.
• Act on your problem or need. When a person acts, and does not hide from difficulties, his motivation increases, self-esteem rises. He feels safe because the formulated question can be resolved.
• Turn to psychologists! This always gives a “quantum leap” in a person’s life – it is the psychologist who helps to see the whole picture of reality.

When some aspect of life is still not getting better, it’s time to stop deceiving yourself: “I’ll figure it all out myself.” After all, if this has not happened yet, it means that there are reasons that, due to psychological defenses, we cannot realize ourselves. Psychologists are able to gently open these “locks” and provide applied tools for solving problems of varying complexity.