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8 crazy mother-in-law tips on how to raise a child
Biting your nails, rubbing them with garlic and wiping them with underwear – this is the only way, according to the grandmother, you can raise a healthy child.
“You look disgusting,” my husband’s mother gave me a “compliment” from the doorway.
I had to explain that Marusya did not sleep all night and I was with her. Sleepless nights affect the appearance of moms, and, as you know, not in the best way. Deep shadows under the eyes have never made anyone more beautiful.
“They jinxed her,” said Nadezhda Vladimirovna categorically. – Lick Marusa’s forehead three times and spit over her left shoulder. I raised two children, one granddaughter, and it works flawlessly.
I had to lick, I didn’t want to offend my mother-in-law. Marusya is already a big-eyed girl with us, after my manipulations it seemed to me that her eyes were twice as large. I was already getting ready to hear her first words: “Mom, are you all right?” Nadezhda Vladimirovna shook her head approvingly: they say, now everything will work out.
For a little over a year, my mother-in-law has repeatedly given me amazing advice on upbringing.
The most common advice. I heard him not only from my mother-in-law, but also from mothers in the yard. They say that if a child’s nails are cut with scissors, life can be shortened. To prevent this from happening, you need to bite your nails. In addition, it is scary to cut tiny nails with scissors. And biting is not scary.
I admit that twenty years ago, when it was impossible to find high-quality scissors for babies in stores during the day with fire, and just high-quality scissors, it was probably easier to do infant manicure in such a crazy way. So you won’t cut your fingers, and you won’t bring the infection into the wound. But now, when all the shelves of children’s stores are littered with all kinds of nippers, scissors, biting is not the best way.
To Marusa, I completely cut my nails with ordinary nail scissors, I just do it with my husband – one holds, the other cuts.
Our ancestors came up with dozens of ways to get rid of the “evil eye”. Here and sprinkle the saint with water (the priests have a sharp negative attitude to such splashing, the church generally denies the evil eye and other superstitions), and lick his forehead. But from “rubbing my face with my panties” I was taken aback. Let’s omit the details of which part to carry over the child’s face. The mother-in-law explained, they say, the place where the baby comes from acts as a talisman. Here, with a clear conscience, I refused the recommendation: Marusya was born with the help of Caesarean, so the panties will not work.
I would not say that our daughter suffered from constipation, but somehow my husband casually mentioned in front of her mother, they say, something Marusya has not done big things today. Nadezhda Vladimirovna immediately willing to help offered to take a piece of laundry soap and thoroughly lubricate the child’s bottom. Her explanation sounded like “the skin is dry, but with soap it will come out like clockwork.” There is some reasonable grain in this lubrication, the soap will irritate the anus, the likelihood that the baby goes to the toilet increases. But for the delicate butt of a child, laundry soap is a clear overkill.
To combat constipation, the mother-in-law also recommended giving a teaspoon of carrot juice. Everything would be fine, vitamins, laxative effect … But Nadezhda Vdadimirovna only advised this, when Marusa was not even a month old!
I was always proud that Marusya’s hair grows well. By the time I was one year old, I could wind great hairstyles on my daughter’s head. The box was swollen from all kinds of rubber bands, hairpins and other hair ornaments.
– When are you going to cut your hair? – asked the mother-in-law.
– I thought to cut off the bangs so that it would not come into my eyes, but I changed my mind, then it will be difficult to grow, – I explained innocently.
– You mean, bangs? – my husband’s mother was surprised. – Completely cut the hair to grow thicker. Get rid of the infant cannon.
In general, my husband and his sister have rather thick hair, but I’m not complaining about Marusya’s hair either – she didn’t go for me. I do not believe in the thickness after shaving, but I believe in genetics. Even if you cut my hair or shave it, it will remain thin and straight like sticks. No perm lasts longer than half an hour. I politely declined the offer. And I am glad – in spite of all “shaving” the baby’s pigtail is already quite decent.
By the way, trichologists also do not advise children to shave their heads. The harm from this procedure is greater than the benefit.
Beet enemas from temperature
I doubt that the mother-in-law once tested this idea on her children. Most likely, she learned it from numerous TV shows and advice from Internet gurus. There, any sore is advised to be treated with herbs and vegetables.
Once the thermometer gave Marusya’s temperature. 38 degrees. No snot, no cough, only fever. And so for three days. She shared her experiences with her mother-in-law and went to see the pediatrician. The doctor did not determine the cause of our temperature, the tests turned out to be sent to space. She advised to give nurofen at night, suddenly teeth. Nadezhda Vladimirovna strongly recommended throwing out Nurofen and giving her granddaughter an enema from beet juice. What did she recommend there? She carefully squeezed the juice and brought it along with the “pear”. Beets are probably a good antiseptic, but not in our healthy case. Better to eat it, and not pour it through the ass.
Snot is a rare phenomenon for us. I would say – a single one. But as soon as Marusya started sniffing, Nadezhda Vladimirovna immediately offered her expert solution to the problem. First, put a locket with crushed garlic around your neck, hang a rag with garlic in the bed, and rub the inside of your nose with a slice cut in half. Burnt mucous membrane? No, I have not heard!
Garlic in general for the mother-in-law is a panacea for any disease. Going to the clinic for a monthly check-up, I always received a fragrant amulet, they say, there are a lot of snotty children so that Marusya does not get infected. She carefully stuffed the garlic into her overalls, it seems that I developed an allergy to garlic in my bag. Until I was shaking out all the “knots” in the car, I could not even think normally.
By the way, it should be noted that some pediatricians even welcomed such a love for garlic. Say, they noticed that children with garlic get sick less often. Either the infection does not stick to them, or they are simply afraid to approach them.
Bonus: remedy for bruises, abrasions and cuts
For the faint of heart, I propose to finish reading the text at this point. Further it will be scary.
Little finger and foot of the bed – how often they occur. So my husband’s leg crashed into the furniture unsuccessfully. A scream echoed through the apartment, a finger swollen.
“And you put a full diaper on your leg,” our grandmother immediately advised.
A convenient way for fans of urine therapy. Perhaps it should even be patented, how many “useful compresses” are sent to the trash every day? Here you can treat fractures in bundles: a diaper is tied to the leg, and the bones will grow together before our eyes.
Do you listen to the advice of grandmothers?