7 strange questions to see the purpose in life

“From the age of 18 to 25, I changed my career plans more often than my underwear. Even with my own business, until the age of 28 I could not understand exactly what I want from life. You are probably like me in this,” writes Mark Manson, a writer, entrepreneur, and coach who helps people sort out their desires, emotions, and relationships, on his blog. “Believe it or not, I very often receive letters from readers in their forties and fifties who still don’t know what they need in this life.”

Part of the problem lies in the very concept of the meaning of life. In our belief that we are all born with some higher purpose, which must be found by all means. Do you want the truth? We all live on this planet for a certain period of time. All this time we are busy with something, either important or unimportant. The important gives our life meaning and a sense of happiness, and the unimportant just kills time.

So the question “What should I do with my life?” or “What is the purpose of my existence?” actually means “What is the most important thing to do with your time?”.

What to do with your time?

And this question is definitely easier to deal with, because it doesn’t carry all the ridiculous baggage that always clings to “the meaning of life” questions. What is the use of thinking about the cosmic significance of your destiny, sitting all day on the couch and eating chips? It is much better to try to find out what seems important to you.

Readers often ask me what their purpose is. But I cannot answer this question. I have no idea. Maybe someone knits, and someone shoots an amateur video in their basement. Who am I to say what matters to whom? However, after doing some research, I’ve put together a list of a few questions to help you figure out what’s important to you personally and what can add meaning to your life. These questions cannot be considered exhaustive. Frankly, they may seem ridiculous. But I did it on purpose, because finding the meaning of life should be interesting and fun, not a heavy burden.

1. What seasoning would you choose for your shit sandwich?

This is a matter of paramount importance. What topping do you want to eat your shit sandwich with? This is the unpleasant truth of life that you are not taught in school.

Everything in this life can be disgusting from time to time. This sounds pessimistic. But I think that this thought, on the contrary, frees us. Any occupation requires sacrifice. Nothing can only bring pleasure. Hence the question: what difficulties are you ready for? Ultimately, this is what determines your ability to continue doing what you love despite difficult times.

If you want to be a successful entrepreneur but can’t stand the thought of failure, then you’re unlikely to achieve much. If you want to become a professional artist but aren’t ready to see your work get rejected hundreds if not thousands of times, then you’re done before you even start. If you want to be a brilliant lawyer but aren’t ready to work 80 hours a week, then I have some bad news for you.

What are you ready to eat? Because everyone has to eat their shit sandwich sooner or later. Although nothing prevents you from adding an olive there.

2. What about you today would make you cry at the age of 8?

As a child, I loved writing stories. I spent hours in my room writing stories about aliens, superheroes, great warriors, my friends and family. But not because I wanted someone to read them. But simply because I enjoyed the process. And then for some reason I stopped doing it. And I don’t remember why.

I was well into my twenties when I rediscovered the world of writing. And before I started my business, I didn’t even remember loving making websites, something I did in my early teens just for fun. But the funniest thing: if I, an eight-year-old, asked myself, but already a twenty-year-old: “Why don’t you write anymore?” and would answer, “Because I’m not very good at it,” or “Because no one will read what I write,” or “Because it’s impossible to make money doing it,” then I would most likely forced himself eight-year-old to burst into burning tears.

3. What can make you forget to eat and go to the bathroom?

Surely you remember the times when you were so absorbed in some activity that minutes easily turned into hours, and hours turned into “Damn, I completely forgot to have dinner!”. It happened to me with video games. Although, of course, this is not the best occupation. To be honest, for several years this was a real problem for me. I just sat and played, instead of doing some important things. But until I quit playing, I didn’t realize that my real passion wasn’t for the games themselves (even though I loved them).

My passion was to improve everything and be the first. The games themselves – the graphics, the story – were great, but I could easily live without them. But here is the competition, competition with others, and especially with myself – I could not do without it. And when I used this obsession in my Internet business and writing, then things took on a big scale.

Perhaps it’s a different story for you. Maybe you are obsessed with efficient organization of processes, or you are lost in a fantasy world, or you love to teach or solve technical problems. Whatever it is, don’t treat your hobbies as just fun. Try to understand what processes you are so captivated by. Because you can use them anywhere.

4. What puddle do you prefer to sit in?

Before you succeed and do something important, you will have to admit more than once that you are doing it just disgusting. And more than once at the same time you will sit in a puddle. Many people try to avoid such embarrassing moments precisely because it is unpleasant. But if you avoid everything that can embarrass you, then you will never in your life begin to do what is important to you. There’s something right now that you want to do, but still don’t do it. You certainly have your reasons.

If your reasoning is something like “I can’t start a business right now because it’s more important for me to spend time with my kids” or “If I play Star Wars all day, it will definitely stop me from making music, and music is more important to me”, then everything is in order. Sounds reasonable.

But if you’re telling yourself things like, “My parents won’t like this,” or “My friends will laugh at me,” or “If I fail, I’ll look like an idiot,” then you’re most likely avoiding what is really important to you because it scares you to death. And what your mom or some Tim from next door says has absolutely nothing to do with it.

Afraid of making a mistake, you live with your head in the sand. Everything great is by its nature unique and transcends the ordinary. Therefore, in order to achieve something, we need to go against the herd mentality. And do what scares us.

5. How are you going to save the world?

In case you’re not aware, the world has a few problems. And by “a few problems” I mean “the whole world is going to hell and we’re all going to die.” So pick a problem and start saving the world. There are a huge number of them – for your choice.

Defective education system, economic development, domestic violence, mental health care, government corruption. Find a problem that worries you and start solving it. It is clear that you will not end the world’s problems alone. But you can contribute. And this feeling that you are changing something for the better is the most important thing for your own happiness and satisfaction.

6. If you were forced to leave your house for the whole day on pain of death, where would you go and what would you do?

For many of us, the main enemy is the good old laziness. We are addicted to routine. We distract ourselves. The sofa is so comfortable. The chips are so cheesy. And nothing new is happening to us. And that’s the problem. Many do not understand that passion is not the cause, but the result of our actions. By trying to figure out what in life gives you passion and what is important to you, you enter a field where life is a full-touch sport, a process of trial and error. None of us know exactly how we will feel doing something until we actually start doing it.

So ask yourself: if someone put a gun to your head every day and made you go out of the house and do anything but sleep, what would you rather do? And no, you can’t just sit at the nearest coffee shop, scrolling through Facebook pages. Where would you go and what would you do? Would you like to sign up for dancing? Joined a book club? Would you like to get another degree? Would a new irrigation system be invented that could save thousands of children’s lives in rural Africa? Would you like to learn how to fly a hang glider?

What would you do with all this time? If you like it, write down some answers and then, you know, go and do it! As a bonus, you can embarrass yourself somewhere.

7. If you knew you were going to die in a year, what would you do and what would you like to be remembered for?

Most of us don’t like to think about death. This scares us. But, on the other hand, thinking about your own death can provide a lot of benefits. For example, they force us to figure out what is really important in our life and what is only a distraction. As a student, I would often walk around and ask people, “If you had only one year left to live, what would you do?” Many gave vague and boring answers. Several drinks were almost poured over me. But my question actually made people really look at their lives from a different perspective and reassess their priorities.

A wonderful inscription would be on the tombstone: “Here lies N. He watched every episode of XXX … twice.” What will be your legacy? What stories will people tell about you when you’re gone? What will be written in your obituary? And in general, will there be anything to talk about? What would you like to see there? What can you do today to make it so? If you do not understand where to move, do not see a goal in life, then this is all because you do not know what is important to you. You don’t know your values. And when you don’t have your own values, then you take other people’s values ​​and live their lives, using their priorities, not yours. And this is a direct path to unhealthy relationships and suffering.

Discovering the meaning of life really comes down to finding one or two things that mean more to you than yourself and more than everything around you. And in order to find them, you just need to get off the couch and start acting. Take some time to think about something other than yourself and, paradoxically, imagine a world without yourself.