7 stages of sex: what you need to know

Stage #1: Interest

This stage can be called «base». Each person has individual sexual preferences. They directly depend on what a person knows about sex, and are closely related to his spiritual beliefs, subconscious prohibitions and internal restrictions.

Often our preferences are influenced by cultural taboos and socially accepted religious and even legal norms. But no less influence is exerted by individual «norms» that are laid down in the process of education. For example, if the family openly condemns porn viewing or masturbation, this can cause both rejection and interest. And eventually develop into problems with sexual behavior.

It is important to recognize your inner inhibitions. But even more important is to understand that no “norms” can regulate your desires, unless we are talking about recognized pathologies. No need to compare your preferences and prohibitions with others — we are all different, and what seems wild to your friend may well turn out to be the most vivid fantasy for you.

Think about what internal limitations prevent you from building a harmonious sexual relationship with your partner? Internal conflict can arise not only when you want something, but do not allow yourself to do so. It also manifests itself when you do something that you really don’t want to, either to “please” your partner or because “everyone else does it.” If after this you feel uncomfortable and empty, listen to yourself more closely and try to understand where your internal blocks came from.

Stage #2: Desire

Sexual desire is a psychological readiness and physiological response to stimulation. They are inextricably linked with each other. It is very important that you are mentally attuned to sex and feel desire. Often problems with orgasm arise precisely because this condition is not met. Desire can disappear for various reasons:

• Physiological: fatigue, hormonal disruptions, illness. Such problems are solved with the help of a comprehensive examination and treatment.
• Psychological: problems in relationships with a partner, stress, internal conflicts and even boredom. In this case, you can make an appointment with a psychologist-sexologist or try to diversify your sex life.

Stage #3: Arousal

It is generally accepted that this is a physiological stage, but it is strongly associated with the psychological phase of desire. Arousal occurs with physical and psychological stimulation (for example, when thinking about sex or about a sexual partner).

But if a person does not know how to relax, problems can arise. It will be much easier to overcome them if the partner knows your preferences, desires and “cherished points”. To do this, you need to learn how to talk to each other on similar topics.

For many people, this is not easy, but such frankness is the key to a trusting relationship.

Stage 4: Plateau

This is the peak of sexual activity, approaching discharge. The achievement of orgasm depends on the actions during this phase.

It is very important that you know your body and understand what gives you the most pleasure. But this alone is not enough — you still need the desire to please your partner. Listen, learn to feel each other.

Stage #5: Orgasm is the culmination of the sexual cycle

What problems can arise at this stage?

Supercontrol. The habit of controlling everything usually indicates increased anxiety. Sometimes our thoughts, fears and experiences interfere with enjoying the natural intimate process and enjoying it.

Relationship problems. Know what can throw your partner off the mood and try to avoid it. Better yet, resolve any relationship issues before having sex.

Mutual respect. If the partner cares more about his own pleasure or is so «dissolved» in his feelings that he forgot about you, you need to ask yourself the question: does he understand that it is also important for you to come to an end? Often women give up their own pleasure, that is, getting an orgasm, and believe that the male orgasm is more important. And broadcast this thought to a man. Of course, a man’s pleasure matters. But no more than yours. There is nothing wrong with saying it out loud.

Knowledge and skills. Often a woman can’t reach orgasm simply because a man doesn’t know her preferences. He does not understand what exactly gives her pleasure. If a man finds out from his partner what she would like, then the result is likely to be positive. You don’t have to wait for these questions — just go ahead and tell your partner what you like.

Stage #6: Completion phase and sexual non-excitability

At this stage, the body returns to its usual state, and any stimulation cannot cause a new impulse of excitation. There is a myth that men have more developed sexual abilities than women. But it is women who have great orgasmic potential. They can experience many orgasms in one intercourse. But men do not have this ability — their body needs to be restored.

This stage can last from several minutes to several days, depending on age, psychological state and sexual constitution. Many women complain that their husband rarely wants sex and immediately suspect him of cheating. Do not make hasty conclusions — this may be due to physiological characteristics.

Stage #7: Emotional Attachment

This is a more psychological stage, during which partners share positive impressions, thereby completing sexual contact. In fact, you say how necessary and important each other is. For a long and sincere relationship, this stage is simply necessary.

But the problem is that many people do not know how important it is to end the sexual intercourse with tenderness, warmth and pleasant words for both. There are those who do not do this on purpose, considering such behavior to be a weakness. This is usually based on the fear of intimacy.

Show attention and tenderness to your partner. And don’t be afraid to explain how his tenderness is important to you and your relationship.