7 social media mistakes that prevent you from finding a job and relationships

“I love posting photos from all the events where our firm operates. And I try to have as many working moments as possible. But recently, a friend admitted that I filled up the entire tape with advertising and therefore she unfollowed me, ”shared 32-year-old Irina. She sincerely believed that this is loyalty to the company and maintaining the corporate spirit.

27-year-old Anastasia has completely different problems: she dreams of a serious long-term relationship, but she is constantly written to by “some juvenile Turks and anxious residents of the regions.” From the photo in her profile, a pretty girl in a swimsuit looks at us, and the wet coastal sand repeats the curves of her slender body. “Maybe I’m doing something wrong?” Anastasia asks.

Unfortunately, such questions are rarely asked by anyone to himself, and even more so to a specialist. But it would be worth it, business psychologist Denis Makarhin is sure. It is important to learn to look at ourselves from the outside and imagine how others see us. Sometimes it is useful to have an experienced wise person around who could audit the page and give recommendations.

What mistakes do social media users make when trying to create an image of an endearing person?

Mistake number 1: selfie or photo with a child / partner on the profile picture

The first thing users notice is their profile picture. It should reflect the characteristics of the person and how he wants to present himself to the audience. Therefore, group photos, photos for a couple with someone are unacceptable: often women like to post joint portraits with children, girlfriends, husbands or boyfriends.

This will scare away a potential partner, and such a photo will tell the recruiter that you are an insecure person, perhaps even “stuck” in the merger. Prepare your personal portrait, which will radiate self-sufficiency, stability, confidence.

But is every photo alone worth uploading to a profile? Sometimes the user has a lot of selfies. This is suggestive: is there really no one nearby who could take a picture? The expert suggests thinking: “An open and sociable person can easily ask someone to take a couple of shots. Or do you choose a good angle, embarrassed to be photographed in full growth?

Sometimes a selfie is a sign of narcissism, which is also far from always a plus for the image. “I myself sometimes take selfies from the gym, but not in order to promote myself. I promote a healthy lifestyle, I invite people to follow me. And I’m talking about the wushu club, in which I have been practicing for many years, and I hope that new people will come to us, ”says Denis Makarhin.

Mistake #2: The “Perfect” Life

“I studied dating sites, talked with users and found that the more problems they have, the happier their chronicle – both photos and posts. Our life is not too easy, especially in the regions. Stress, conflict situations at work, high competition … some people try to compensate for the hardships of life with an illusory reality, ”explains the psychologist.

In our life there is not only joy, but also sadness. “It’s always interesting to read about the experience of someone who has not only admitted to some difficulty or problem, but also written about how he dealt with it. A chronicle of victories, including over difficulties at work, in personal life, stories of overcoming crises – that’s what friends and subscribers need, ”says Denis Makarhin.

Mistake #3: Too Much Rest

“Very often, HR managers receive resumes where the photo of the applicant was taken by non-professional equipment or even taken on vacation,” says Denis Makarhin. – A person claims to be a serious position, and instead of a business photo, he shows himself in shorts and slates. What will such a portrait say about business qualities and the ability to present yourself?

If there are too many vacation shots in the social media profile, what should the employer think about? “The fact that you are a person who spends all the time outside of work. In addition, on vacation we are different and bear little resemblance to us on a daily basis. Not to mention that some are not shy about posting photos with glasses of wine and not always sober.” It is best to order a professional photo shoot, when viewing which it will be clear what we do. “If you are a manager, a suit will do, and if you always go to work in jeans and a jumper, then you should not wear a tuxedo and bow tie – keep the image as close to real as possible,” the expert suggests.

And even more so, you should not be surprised if you give a certain signal to the information space by publishing yourself in a risky way. “I know those who deliberately post erotic photo shoots, explicit posts, but this is a well-thought-out strategy that serves a specific purpose – for example, to attract traffic to the page,” the psychologist explains. Otherwise, it will look like a call for a very specific audience, as in the story of Anastasia. However, even a professional photo shoot can hurt.

Mistake #4: Expensive Accessories

We hire a photographer, book time in the studio, and the first thing that catches your eye is an expensive watch on your wrist that “accidentally” hit the frame and takes up half of the avatar. We look at another photo: the owner of the page against the backdrop of an expensive car or in a car dealership. “If a person hides behind the so-called symbols of power – watches, pens, cars, houses – he is lost against this background. He seems to be selling them, not himself. He seems to have nothing to say about himself, ”says the expert.

Like attracts like. No need to be surprised if women start knocking on such a man in social networks and applications, for whom expensive accessories are the main values. They are indifferent to his inner world. They will fly away as quickly as they “fluttered” when they see a new Lexus keychain on the horizon. Truly rich people don’t brag about cars and Rolexes. For them, this is not an event, this is their everyday life. Truly successful people often put either their successful photo from some event or a business-like calm photo shoot without deliberate pretentiousness and luxury. Boasting just those who are expensive and, most likely, the only cufflinks were not easy.

Mistake #5: Too Little or Too Much Information

There are two extremes in the amount of information about yourself. Someone is concise, allowing himself only to indicate the city, and even then not always. Someone puts out all the entries from the work book, so that on the 20th line you forget how he started his career growth.

“It is alarming if the profile contains too “variegated” information about education and places of work,” says Denis Makarhin. “Yesterday, a person worked as an accountant or a hairdresser, and today he is a life coach.”

It is impossible to be a man-orchestra: highlight something key, what exactly you are an expert in. The number of certificates and places of study is also surprising. The question arises: when does he have time to work if he studies all the time? As if a person proves to himself and others that he is a professional. Everything needs a reasonable balance.

Mistake #6: Just work

Professional qualities are important. But if there is no life in our profile, we ourselves cease to be alive for others. “We are interested in those who live not only for work, but also for bright events, who have hobbies: sports, painting, books, cinema.” Versatile people attract attention.

But again, keep the word “balance” in mind. In a competently updated profile, there is a place for everything: achievements at work, leisure, and hobbies. Sometimes chronicles are updated too often. Do not overload your feed: one to three posts a day on various topics is enough. Long photo reports of 500 frames should also be avoided: several photos are the maximum that the average viewer can handle.

Mistake #7: The Song of the Narcissist

The most important question that a user of social networks should ask himself is: “For what and for whom am I publishing this? What is the purpose? My son went to college – great! Or the daughter took first place in rhythmic gymnastics competitions – great! But how is this information useful to me, reading this? Often, many pages resemble a vanity fair and narcissism.

The meaning of publications in social networks is to acquire new knowledge, contacts, enrich yourself with impressions, be inspired by trying on what others have done. And here much depends on the form of submission. “We have an excellent coach, a convenient schedule, the cost is small, they take care of children, bring your daughters – they will succeed too,” the psychologist gives an example. And then the publication about the girl’s success will be decisive in the thoughts of other parents about the section for the child.

Even if we publish other people’s posts or videos, it is worth supplementing them with our impressions or thoughts. People are interested in reading others’ own thoughts, not Freud quotes or test references. Aerobatics is your texts and your photos, which you carefully store and select at the right time for a specific post. “If someone’s publication will captivate and enrich me, I will be grateful for it. And it’s good if I myself can inspire someone, ”says Denis Makarhin.