Contents
- 1. Criticism is frequent, and praise is rare and by the way
- 2. You are not sure how he feels about you.
- 3. You don’t feel 100% trust in this person.
- 4. You know all his exes too well.
- 5. You experience the best moments … only in companies
- 6. Silence punishment
- 7. He is only nice to you if he needs something from you.
In the early days, when relationships are just being established, I want to think that they will become ideal. How to recognize the signs that your road together will not be smooth and smooth and that you have turned in the opposite direction on the way to a happy future?
We often turn a blind eye to the little things that annoy or upset us in a partner. Especially if we are at the very beginning of the path called relationships. But don’t even think about ignoring those bright big red flags.
1. Criticism is frequent, and praise is rare and by the way
There is a big difference between negative and positive attention. The one who loves you will rejoice at your every success and hug you tightly on days when you are limp and not so sure of yourself.
“Unfortunately, many of my clients really want to feel special, the only ones, to know that their partner is interested in them and their lives. And sometimes they even agree to reproaches, criticism, grumbling and banter, just to constantly be in the center of his attention., says Patti Britton, a family therapist.
2. You are not sure how he feels about you.
Constantly checking to see if you have received an SMS, and worrying that he has not called for a long time, you can afford only at the very beginning of a relationship.
But then you get used to each other, the relationship becomes comfortable, gives a feeling of confidence and calmness. If this is not there, if the anxiety remains and you are still in limbo, then this is clearly a red flag: you are in a toxic relationship.
3. You don’t feel 100% trust in this person.
Well, what can I say? Sophocles wrote about this directly: “Only time will reveal the honest to us – a day is enough to find out the vile.”
Punishment with silence in perspective is dangerous: it is a way to go on the defensive as a defense against each other.
4. You know all his exes too well.
If your relationship gets too crowded because there are a few more of his exes around and you know them well – from his stories and even personally – this is not a good sign. Do you need to clarify what is your place in this organization? There are people who feel perfectly comfortable surrounded by a small harem and sincerely believe that they care about everyone.
Punishment with silence in perspective is dangerous: it is a way to go on the defensive as a defense against each other.
5. You experience the best moments … only in companies
This is a bad sign if alone with him you have few topics for conversation and you shake yourself up and come to life just before the next trip to visit. Of course, trips to friends, picnics, clubs have not been canceled, but these should not be the only good memories for your couple.
And let me remind you that if a partner is usually rather reclusive, but completely transformed as soon as he has a drink, this is also a sign. But it’s not about relationships.
6. Silence punishment
In a truly healthy relationship, there is no place for contemptuous smirks and ignorance. “It would seem that punishment with silence cannot be compared with obvious manifestations of violence and cruelty. But in the long run, it poses a danger,” says Megan Fleming, a New York-based psychologist and sex therapist.
This means that you are now choosing a way to go on the defensive as a defense against each other, instead of directly discussing all the problems that arise.
7. He is only nice to you if he needs something from you.
Positive behavior is reinforced and rewarded, negative behavior is punished. Gradually less command and whistle. If you have ever had a four-legged pet, you will be able to draw parallels.
See more at Huffington Post.