7 signs your partner is starting to lose interest in you

At the beginning of a relationship between partners, passion rages, lovers cannot tear themselves away from each other for a second. Over time, feelings flow into a more measured direction. But sometimes it begins to seem that a loved one has completely pulled away and stopped noticing. How to understand that there is cause for concern?

It is hard to feel that a loved one is moving away, it can awaken fear and insecurity. It may seem that something has changed in the relationship, not for the better. “If a partner is physically close, but there is a feeling that psychologically and emotionally he is far away, perhaps he has closed himself energetically. It can be a defense mechanism often used by someone who doesn’t know how to express feelings but can’t leave,” explains family therapist Linsey Seeley.

If this happens, don’t jump to conclusions about why your partner pulled away. Call him for a conversation and ask directly. “Perhaps the partner has lost interest, but does not know how to talk about it. There may be other reasons for its closeness, but it’s best not to guess. Invite him to talk about feelings, while treating them with understanding, ”says Seeley.

Arguments and quarrels are not the most productive part of a relationship, but they are still energy.

In addition to instinctual sensations, there are other signs, we asked psychotherapists to list them.

1. Your partner doesn’t care about the details of your life.

In a healthy relationship, people are interested in each other’s lives, it’s not only about big events, but also about little things. If you are important to a partner and he knows that you have an important meeting in the morning, because of which you are nervous, then he will probably write and ask how everything went. If he is mentally not with you, he will not remember your problems or will treat them indifferently. “He stops being interested in the details of your life,” says couples therapist Isea McKimmie.

2. He/she does not respond to messages for a long time

Everyone has a lot to do, sometimes there is simply no time to look at the phone. But if a partner has always been in touch before, but now he suddenly began to disappear, perhaps he is starting to move away.

“Sometimes it’s not immediately noticeable that a loved one has pulled away, so it’s worth considering how willingly he makes contact. If he is indifferent to you, then he may not answer messages for a long time, not call back, justifying himself that he forgot or was busy at work, – comments psychologist Gina Delucca. “These explanations may be true, but when such behavior becomes the norm rather than the exception, it is a warning sign. “Most people always have their phone at hand, and you can reply to a message in a few seconds.”

3. Partner ignores your requests or withdraws

There is nothing wrong with telling your partner what you want, he is not a telepath. But if you have to constantly ask for elementary things and requests are ignored, perhaps the partner has given up on the relationship.

“If there is a feeling that you have to beg for attention, most likely he is losing interest in you. In a healthy relationship, a loved one always responds positively to our desire for attention, support and care. If a split occurs in a couple, our wishes are ignored or met with a negative response, ”explains Isea McKimmie.

The lack of contact does not bother the partner too much. “When a person has completely lost interest in relationships, he is no longer sad and grieves about this, all emotions are left behind. Now he is thinking about something else, ”explains psychologist Anna Crowley.

4. You no longer argue

If disagreements between partners each time result in screams and scandals, it may be in the unhealthy dynamics of the relationship. But the ability to argue honestly (without swearing, shouting, and withdrawing into oneself) is, on the contrary, a sign of a healthy relationship. If everything has become so indifferent to your loved one that he even stopped arguing with you, most likely you are no longer important to him.

“Yes, disputes and quarrels are not the most productive part of a relationship, but it’s still the energy that we put into them. We argue when we care, when we want to be seen and heard. If the arguments stop, it may be that the partner has lost interest in the relationship, ”says Anna Crowley.

For example, you used to constantly swear because of cleaning the apartment. Now the partner has stopped noticing at all (let alone mentioning) that the dirty laundry no longer fits in the basket.

“In other words, the loved one stopped making efforts to maintain stability in the relationship. He has already given up and is ready to leave, while you are still in the mood for a fight, ”explains Crowley.

5. You rarely have sex

At the beginning of a relationship, partners especially passionately show their sympathy for each other. Psychologist Jamie Goldstein calls this the energy of a new relationship. You have butterflies in your stomach, love in your eyes, you sit hugging on the couch all the time and often have sex.

You need to understand that for the success of a relationship, mutual interest and mutual efforts are needed.

It is normal that over time this energy begins to dissipate. But if kissing, hugging, and making love are practically gone from your life, this is a wake-up call. “When interest falls, physical manifestations of sympathy also disappear. If a partner has become much less likely to make physical contact after the first passion has cooled down a bit, this may be a sign of his loss of interest, ”says Goldstein.

6. Partner has lost interest in your friends and family

If the relationship with them is important to you, the partner should respect it. He may not be thrilled at the prospect of spending another weekend at your parents’, but he’ll probably agree for you. If he began to avoid communication with your relatives, perhaps the relationship became indifferent to him.

“Yes, we do not always want to communicate with friends and relatives of a partner, but we do this for the sake of a loved one. If a partner is no longer ready to give in, then he no longer wants to make an effort for the sake of your relationship, ”says Isea McKimmie.

7. Your partner doesn’t put the relationship first.

Sometimes small children, urgent work, sick relatives, and so on require attention. But in most cases, mutual support should come first for you and your partner. If a loved one spends all their time and energy on a career, hobbies, or hanging out with friends, the relationship may no longer be important to them. “You deserve to have a special place in the life of a loved one. If it doesn’t, it’s time to take a step back and rethink the relationship,” Lindsey Seeley says.

If you always have to initiate a conversation with a partner and make joint plans alone, this is also a bad sign. “You need to understand that mutual interest and mutual efforts are needed for the success of a relationship,” emphasizes Gina Delucca.

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