7 Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Partner

Let’s start with the main thing: it is really difficult for an emotionally unavailable person to share their feelings and really get close to other people. As a rule, there is a crisis of trust and a fear of intimacy behind this – this causes him to be fickle and avoid relationships.

Usually the reasons for this are in a complex intricacies of personality traits and painful experiences (especially loss, rejection or abandonment). All this forms the style of behavior with others.

Such people are often called toxic or narcissistic traits are attributed to them. Sometimes this is true, but more often it is not. Early loss or the painful experience of rejection can indeed be difficult to bear. And the extreme degree of natural shyness makes a person close against his will.

It can be difficult for these people to let go of their defenses – the prospect of intimacy with others scares them so much. What else makes them different?

1. They are afraid of deep conversations.

It is not easy for them to plunge into the world of feelings and emotions – they are ready to listen to their partner, but only for the time being. At the moment when it becomes completely unbearable, they simply change the subject, and when they are required to make any commitments, they feel cornered.

2. Intimacy for them always coexists with fear.

Love and close relationships for them always come with an “add-on” in the form of inevitable (as it seems to them) conflicts, life dramas or potential rejection – everything that has happened to them before.

3. They have real trust issues.

If a person has suffered a lot, it is difficult for him to enter into any relationship with an open heart – it is too scary to be vulnerable again and experience new pain.

4. They don’t know how to express feelings.

Often, emotionally unavailable people simply do not have the skill of expressing everything that is on their souls. This does not mean that experiences are alien to them, they just do not know how to share them.

5. They often cut ties with people easily and quickly.

Moreover, any connections – including family ones. Which, of course, brings a lot of suffering to others. But at the same time, the person himself is sure that it will be easier this way than painfully choosing words and explaining himself, risking offending another.

6. They often choose long distance relationships.

Or they enter into a relationship with an unfree person – it’s easier to keep the distance they need and not take the “next step”.

7. They are interested in others, taking their time to open up in return.

Asking questions and listening to answers is easier for them than talking about themselves. And the interlocutor, as a rule, such attention and interest is extremely pleasant – until it becomes clear that he himself did not know anything about the partner.

What to do – run away?

First of all, you need to understand that not all emotionally unavailable people are toxic. Most are not to blame for the chosen style of behavior, moreover, they usually have good reasons. If you have patience and let the person begin to trust you, he can open up and become a great partner.

But the main thing is to understand what it is like for you in these relationships. If it’s hard, if doubts gnaw and nothing changes over time, perhaps you should ask yourself the question: is it worth it? Your life and your happiness is above all.