Relationships are work. We need to look for a compromise, by itself nothing will work out, it will not be easy, but it’s worth it. And indeed, anything happens in a life together, but if relationships require constant tedious work, then perhaps this partner is simply not yours and there is no need to climb into this mine again and again?
Lightness, weightlessness, “butterflies in the stomach”, a feeling of flight … These pleasant states are usually associated with the first stage of a relationship, and then … life begins. But perhaps this is the wrong approach? Perhaps it is ease that we should look for?
“One day a young man came to see me,” recalls clinical psychologist Karen Nimmo. – He just broke up with a girl whose relationship exhausted him. She completely depended on him emotionally, manipulated him, and at the same time he never knew what she would be like in five minutes, how she would react to his words or deed. These relationships greatly traumatized him, and most importantly, this was not the first time this happened: he constantly met with unpredictable partners.
The man was ready to give up: it seemed that he was simply unlucky with girls. And for a couple of years, he really closed the romantic side of life for himself, while undergoing therapy at the same time. And suddenly I met “the one”.
When Karen Nimmo asked a client how his current relationship differs from all previous ones, he replied: ease. It kind of doesn’t fit with the fact that relationships are “hard work”, doesn’t it? But in fact, everything is logical.
Relationships do require some effort, it is not always possible to just go with the flow, and difficulties arise more often than we would like. But waking up every morning with the thought that you have another day to spend in a coal mine (or running a marathon, or climbing a rock) is at least strange.
In a relationship, both you and your partner should be easy with each other. How to understand that everything is exactly the same in your couple?
Seven Signs of an Easy Relationship
1. You are happy with yourself
All because the partner likes you and he does not forget to tell you about it. As a result, you like yourself in these relationships, and outside of them too.
2. You are safe
Of course, physical security is assumed by default, but in addition, you can safely start a conversation on any topic without fear that your partner will react inappropriately, explode or flare up. You know that even if the partner disagrees with you, he respects your position.
3. You are comfortable being silent together.
Being silent together is as pleasant as chatting with each other. This means that together you are completely relaxed.
4. You don’t worry about how he will be today.
You do not have to wait tensely for the evening, wondering in what mood your partner will return from work. You are happy with anyone, you are not afraid of his mood swings, and he is yours.
5. You quickly resolve any conflict
Admitting your mistake in time and immediately apologizing for it is a whole art that your couple is fluent in. You do not accumulate resentment for weeks and months, do not leave the house, slamming the door loudly, do not play silence and do not use sex as a tool of punishment and encouragement.
6. Your partner approves of your meetings with friends
Unbelievable, but true: it is not necessary to become firmly attached to each other, so that it would be impossible to take a step. An adequate and loving partner understands that you should have your own life outside of relationships, and you answer him the same.
7. You enjoy spending time together.
Of course, it’s not about being together from the moment you wake up until you go to bed, but you really feel good with each other and you will always find time for this and come up with a lot of activities that are interesting for both of you.