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At the word “narcissus” we most often imagine a man. We hammer in the phrases “how to recognize a narcissist on a first date” and “how to get away from a narcissist” in the search. And we forget that it can be a woman – a mother, a friend, a boss. And it can have an equally destructive effect on our lives.
Inconceivable ego and complacency are traits we attribute to people with narcissistic personality disorder. These character traits are inherent in both women and men. Of course, there are studies that men are more likely to be affected by this mental disorder. Are men really more likely to become narcissists, or are women just better at hiding their unpleasant features, trying to make the most of those qualities that help them achieve their goals? And by what signs can a narcissist be recognized?
1. She reduces any conversation to her person.
It’s okay to talk about yourself. We all sometimes tell stories from our lives, illustrate with examples of the situation. But a narcissist woman in any conversation will turn her attention to herself, her feelings and experiences. Ask yourself when was the last time she asked you something about you and your life. If the answer is “never” or “yesterday, but a minute later she started talking about herself again,” most likely you have a narcissist.
2. She constantly cancels your plans together.
If you have a girlfriend who is pathologically incapable of sticking to agreements, it is likely that this is a sign of narcissism. She may even briefly ask for forgiveness, but all her actions show that she does not care how much her cancellation of plans has affected your life. She will not ask how you spent the evening, which you were going to spend with her before. She is only interested in her freedom to do what she wants, when she wants, and with whom she wants, regardless of the reactions of other people.
3. She becomes furious at the word “no”
This is one of the easiest ways. The next time she asks you for something, say no and see how she reacts. You can even not refuse right away, but say that you need time to think. Narcissists hate these situations – they literally feel that the other person thus gains some kind of power over their lives. They cannot bear it – their eyes are filled with rage and they will try their best to convince you to give an answer right now. And, of course, it must be a positive answer. If you manage to refuse the request, most likely, you will turn into an enemy – until the moment when he needs something from you again.
4. She flirts with people she doesn’t like.
Flirting is a fun and carefree process. But for the narcissist, this is not entertainment and not a manifestation of sympathy – this is the means by which she gets her way. Such a woman often directs her sexual energy to men who she does not like at all, but can be useful. These personalities are sure that there is no one better than them in the world and no one can resist their charm.
For a narcissist, the other person or force majeure will always be at fault.
5. She has a low opinion of others
Such a woman is convinced that she is at the top of the social pyramid, whatever her position really is, and all other people fall short of her level. This becomes noticeable when she talks about other people, their achievements and lifestyle.
Is there a woman in your environment who calls everyone around her “idiots” and harshly criticizes the behavior and moral character of her friends (and especially girlfriends)? A woman who constantly questions the intelligence of others, but never doubts her own righteousness? This is classic narcissist behavior. We all sometimes speak unflatteringly about the actions of our friends, but at the same time we do not consider them stupid and worthless people. And, unlike such people, we can admit our own mistakes. This leads to the next point.
6. She never admits her guilt.
Being late for a meeting, she will not ask for forgiveness for this. She will tell you in colors that traffic jams, taxi drivers or your confusing explanations about where she needed to go are to blame for everything. In the worldview of such a person, there is no option in which he can be the cause of some kind of problem or mistake – another person or force majeure circumstances will always be to blame.
7. She takes selfies all the time
We all do this from time to time, or even more often than we should. But if all the photos on a woman’s phone or Instagram are devoted exclusively to different angles of her face or other parts of the body, this most likely indicates narcissism. You won’t see photos of family, friends, kids, pets, or a beautiful evening sky. If you see, then all of them will be the background for her person.