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It’s not that they don’t want to. There are very real reasons for panic.
Someone is ready to give half their life for the opportunity to give birth to a child. And someone is mortally afraid of this. And the delay in menstruation does not make these women happy. Not because they are bad moms. They actually have several objective reasons to panic at the sight of two strips on the dough.
1. Good memory
Someone forgets about the pain suffered during childbirth a few seconds after everything was over. And for some, it was such a difficult experience that it has not been erased from memory for years. To dare to experience all these not very pleasant sensations again – for this you need to really want children. And even hellish bouts of nausea, pain, twitching nerves, insomnia, excess weight, a brain full of hormones, emotional instability. And a bunch of tests that must be passed – even with a baby in your arms
2. Husband’s attitude
Reading women’s forums, you understand that not all men are ready to carry their pregnant wives in their arms. “He thinks I’m pretending. And I really feel bad! He is angry, reproaches me, annoyed. All the time he puts her daughter-in-law as an example – they say, she ran all nine months as if she were a breeder, ”- a typical post of a future mother. Cherry on the cake – often the husband reproaches his wife that she has gained too much. With this attitude, to get pregnant a second time? You have to be a hero.
3. Goodbye sex
“During pregnancy I felt just disgusting,” says Anna, mother of one and a half year old Tanyusha. – Sex is the last thing I wanted. The desire only reappeared when I finished breastfeeding. ” Now Anya is waiting for the second. They put an end to sex again – for a long time.
4. Two small children are hard
Even when the second one is just on its way, it’s already hard. All the time I want to sleep, eat and cry. In my arms is a child who wants the same and a thousand more things. And soon another one will be added to it.
Doctors, by the way, do not advise giving birth to the weather. Not only is it difficult to cope with them, but also the woman’s body is not ready for such a feat. You need to give yourself time to recover.
5. Fear of losing yourself
The life of a mother in the first months after childbirth is completely subordinated to children. But saving at least a little time for yourself is very important. Any woman knows that it is very difficult not to go crazy when life turns into an endless groundhog day. Party at the bar? The gym? Manicure? A walk to the movies? A date with your husband, finally? No, you have to forget about it. And from this it is really scary – what if you will never be able to get out of the heap of diapers?
6. It is expensive
Yes. Having children is expensive. And even if there is maternity capital, a bunch of all kinds of benefits, they are all just a drop in the ocean. We have already considered how much the first month of a child’s life costs. Let the second have to spend less – because of the “inheritance” from the firstborn. But some costs still cannot be avoided. In addition, spending will not end in the next 20 years for sure. And the issue of housing will have to be resolved. And it is often simply overwhelming.
7. “I can’t handle it”
This is the worst fear. Every mother constantly torments herself with the question of whether she is a good enough mother, whether she is doing everything right, whether she pays enough attention to her children. “I can’t do anything with one. I don’t understand how people give birth in three or five. Do they have an army of nannies? ” – asks Vera, who recently became a mother.
Yes, all these fears just need to be experienced. After a year or two, you can laugh at them. But now – now it’s very scary.