It would seem that there are no problems with topics for conversation at the festive table today. Suffice it to mention the latest statistics of the sick. Or complain about how people behave in public places. But these questions are too sharp and explosive. It is highly likely that you and your loved ones will quarrel even before the chiming clock. However, it is in your power to give any conversation a positive color and not quarrel.
It’s not about ignoring the news at all – getting fresh information is necessary and important, as well as sharing your doubts and fears. But perhaps you, like many, have missed normal communication, conversations that are not related to politics and the pandemic.
If so, then you yourself may well initiate them. Or, at least, try to shift the focus from the general to the particular, from the global agenda to the person who is in front of you (live or on the other end of the wire, or on the other side of the screen). A few questions will help you do this.
1. What are you most grateful for right now? All of us can immediately list what worries and worries us at the moment – and the more valuable is the opportunity to concentrate on the good, shift the focus to small joys.
You can talk about what pleased the interlocutor today, or what cheered you up during the week, helped him relax and exhale at least a little. To set an example, start with yourself.
2. What are you doing now? People love to talk about what interests them, and sharing it is much more interesting than just retelling how things are going. Most likely, your interlocutor has something, some small personal project, passion, hobby, and he will gladly tell you about his successes.
3. What is helping you right now? Another variation of this question is, “How do you take care of yourself?” And this is another great way to switch from negative to positive. Surely, despite all the unrest, instability and changes, something good is happening in the life of your interlocutor. Listen carefully to what he has to say and ask clarifying questions.
4. What are you watching, reading, listening to now? Most now spend more time at home than before, and spend the hours saved on the road on the absorption of entertainment or educational content. By asking the interlocutor which films, books, podcasts or YouTube channels he is especially impressed with, you can learn a lot of new things or find common ground.
5. How do you deal with stress? Almost everyone today experiences stress to one degree or another, but everyone copes with it in different ways. Talk about a method that works for you and learn about strategies and mechanisms that help the interlocutor.
6. What is your ideal weekend? A question, in response to which you can hear a lot of different information: how the interlocutor usually spends his weekends, how he would like to spend them and what he would do if there were no time, financial and spatial restrictions. Having learned what exactly the counterpart likes, you can develop this topic further, learn a lot of new things and exchange original ideas.
7. What would you like in the future? Such a question is a good opportunity for the interlocutor to reflect on what he or she would like to change in their life in general and in their career in particular, if such an opportunity presents itself. Then you can talk about career goals and what steps you should take to gain perspective.
In our turbulent times, in response to the question “How are you?” often you can hear only complaints about the epidemiological situation, the economy, politics, which means it is very easy to slide into the negative. To avoid this, try to control the flow of the conversation.
Ask deep questions that require detailed answers, and thereby strengthen the connection with those with whom you communicate.