Our words shape our world, life and environment. So instead of thinking and saying out loud what others expect of you, start saying what you want to say yourself. The result will surely surprise and delight you.
“No, unfortunately I can’t.” How often do you say “yes” when you want to say “no” so as not to upset others or please them? But do you feel happy agreeing to something you don’t really want? Next time, before agreeing to something, take a deep breath, consider whether you really need it. And then boldly say, “No. Unfortunately I can not. Next time”.
“I didn’t spend enough time on it.” Try to say this phrase instead of the usual “I don’t have enough time for anything.” The first phrase is active, the second is passive. The first shows that you manage your time and are responsible for your actions, the second shows that you are limply and resignedly going with the flow. The first explains, the second sounds like an excuse. Feel the difference?
“Talk to me”, “Let me know that I am not alone”, “I need now to be listened to”. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you are ready to help others, let them support you too. We all need from time to time someone who can sympathize, show empathy, or just be there.
“There are no hopeless situations” and “Even in the darkest room there is a source of light.” Your task is only to find it.
Remember your best qualities, and let them be not one or two, but at least a dozen. Praise yourself for them
“I appreciate…”. Studies show that people who know how to be grateful – to themselves, to others, to the world – are healthier physically and mentally. They sleep better, have higher self-esteem, more friends, and stronger relationships. Try keeping a “thanksgiving diary”: every day before going to bed, write down in it everything and everyone that and to whom you can say thank you.
“I want to feel…”. We often think about what we want to buy, where to go, what to achieve, but rarely think about our own feelings. What do we really want to experience: love, tenderness, intimacy? Or maybe strength, security, peace? Once you realize what you really want, you will understand how to act and take some big steps towards yourself.
“I love myself…”. How easy it is to write and say to others: “You are an extraordinary, wonderful, kind, positive, cheerful person!” But why not say the same to yourself? Each of us has something to value ourselves. Punctuality, responsibility, purposefulness, love for neighbors, generosity, tact… Remember your best qualities, and let them be not one or two, but at least a dozen. Praise yourself for them. Confess to yourself in love.
At first glance, this may seem strange and selfish. But isn’t it weird to use social media to get approval and likes, to go shopping to fill an inner void, to end relationships because our partners don’t appreciate us? The truth is that we cannot expect to be loved and respected if we do not love and respect ourselves.
So what do you love and appreciate about yourself?
About the Developer
Corinne Dobbas psychologist, coach, blogger. .