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In order for colleagues and bosses to treat you worse, it is not necessary to skip walks, regularly lose important documents and be rude. Some phrases said in passing can ruin your career without you even noticing it.
«It’s not fair»
You want life to be absolutely fair — to you first of all. It is like the cry of a small child whose parents refused to buy a toy. The realization that the world does not owe us anything makes us stronger and more independent. Conversely, by appealing to abstract justice, you show yourself immature and naive.
Be constructive. Start from the facts (your results, the profits you brought to the company, specific proposals), and put their interpretation aside. For example, say, “I noticed that you put Anna in charge of a big project I wanted to lead. Could you explain to me why you made this decision? I would like to know what, in your opinion, I lack for this work.
«But we’ve always done that»
Changes in life are happening so fast that the solution that we resorted to six months ago may no longer work in today’s conditions. The «out of habit» argument won’t get you ahead, but it can make your manager think, «What if he’s just a lazy worker and afraid of change?»
“I may be saying something stupid, but…”
Too cautious and self-deprecating phrases undermine your credibility. Even if your proposal is truly brilliant, the way you present it speaks volumes about your lack of self-confidence. If you yourself are not sure of success, how do you expect to convince others?
Don’t be your own worst critic. Perhaps someone will consider your proposal inappropriate, but others will support it. It may be rejected, but it will give impetus to a productive discussion. Lots of options. In any case, you should not immediately hang a label of insignificance on your words.
«No problem»
When you answer “no problem” to someone’s request or to thank you for your help, you mean that the request itself could be a problem. Your interlocutor may feel as if he burdened you. Such shades of speech may seem insignificant, but in fact we somehow read them.
What can be answered so as not to create embarrassment? Say: «Glad (was) to help.» Or: «I’ll be happy to help you.» It’s a subtle difference in language, but it has an impact on people.
«It’s not in my job description»
This phrase — even if you said it in jest — exposes you as a person who is willing to fulfill only the minimum requirements in order to receive a salary. Your manager may decide that the interests of the company do not concern you at all and you, most likely, cannot be relied upon.
If you get used to making excuses, you will be considered a person who does not give an account of his actions. You will no longer be trusted
If you feel that the request is excessive, inappropriate, or offends your interests, check if you understood it correctly. If the request doesn’t require you to compromise your values or break the law, do it.
Ideally, you should discuss the boundaries of your job responsibilities with your manager. Set a time for the conversation and try to make your position as constructive as possible. If the boss wants you to do more, offer to write it down, specify how it will affect the salary. Do not immediately bargain and refer to the labor code. Show that you are ready to work harder and better — but it would be more convenient if you had a clear idea of the scope of your duties.
«It’s not my fault»
Translating «arrows» is not the best tactic. Be responsible. If you were involved in a case and something went wrong, whatever it was, acknowledge your part in what happened. Offer an objective, dispassionate explanation for what happened. Stick to the facts, let your management and colleagues draw their own conclusions.
If you get used to making excuses, you will be considered a person who does not give an account of his actions. It’s unnerving and annoying. Colleagues may avoid working with you and, in the event of a general mistake, will try to hit you first so that you do not have time to blame them.
«I hate this job»
Complaints are the last thing your colleagues and superiors want to hear from you. Firstly, it completely kills the working spirit and motivation. Secondly, you immediately acquire a reputation as a loser who is not interested in development and is not ready to improve something in his life. Finally, it will lead your manager to the idea that you are a ballast that will need to be disposed of at the first opportunity. After all, there are plenty of enthusiasts around who are ready to take your place.