7 parenting mistakes that will make your child an outcast

The most common way to deal with a problem is to go to school and scold children who are bullying your child. Usually the result is almost zero. The older the children are, the less authority their adults have. During this period, the main thing for them is the opinion of their peers. Trying to shame the bully can make the situation even worse. Children will understand that their opponent cannot stand up for themselves, but can only complain to their mother. This behavior does not command respect and can only intensify the attack.

What to do: It is worth visiting the school, but you need to communicate there not with the offenders, but with the director, teachers or a school psychologist in order to identify the problem and ways to solve it. Only after that is it worth attracting children and trying to resolve the conflict between them.

Parents often think that in order to resolve the conflict, it is enough to force the abuser to apologize and promise that he will no longer do this. This method can work with three-year-olds, but the older the children are, the more difficult it is to reconcile them. The bully may verbally promise not to do this again, but the chances are high that aggressive attacks will simply take other forms. For example, they will develop into a boycott, and then the child will be alone against the whole class.

What to do: the emotions and feelings of children should be respected. Even if the problem seems silly, it is a source of significant concern to them. Try to understand the conflict better and advise your child how he can deal with it himself. You can help by thinking of some kind of collaborative activity in which the children will forget about existing friction.

It is difficult to remain calm when your child is being bullied. And first of all, many begin to blame the other child, because it is easier to believe that this spoiled alien offspring is bullying your kind and educated child. However, it often happens that other children are not so spoiled. For some unknown reason, they simply could not find a common language with your child.

What to do: it is right to be on the side of your child, but the situation should be assessed objectively. If conflict happens often, then your child may be to blame. Perhaps he cannot stand up for himself or, on the contrary, is rude to his classmates. Of course, it is unpleasant to discover such things, but if you know exactly what needs to be corrected, then the process of solving the problem will be much easier.

The other extreme is making your child feel guilty about everything. Parents often state that their children are not popular with peers because they talk quietly, do not play sports, slouch, etc. Moreover, parents constantly remind their children of these shortcomings when they start complaining about problems with their peers. Eventually, the child will be forced to stop complaining, but at the same time will no longer trust the parents.

What to do: conflict can indeed be caused by your child’s habits and behavior. But it’s not worth reminding him about it all the time. It is better to correct what causes negative reactions from classmates, to teach the son or daughter to communicate and be more self-confident. Your main task is to solve the problem, and not poke your child’s nose into his imperfections, warns Brightside study.

Some parents teach their children to achieve a good relationship with themselves through special behaviors. Such a child distributes a lot of sweets in the classroom, invites his peers to visit, entertains them, etc. However, the result of this approach is that all other children do not respect him. The parents themselves put him in this way in advance in a humiliated position, demonstrating that they are ready to “pay” for other children to play with him.

What to do: a good attitude cannot be bought. If the conflict already exists, then financial investments and something similar will not help solve it. Children usually respect those who have strong character, who are always ready to help and have a good sense of humor. It is these traits that should be encouraged in your child.

If the child is upset, the first thing the parent is to do is to comfort him. Unfortunately, this is not enough. For example, if a child is overweight, then the parents sympathize with him, but, on the other hand, do not prohibit eating fast food and having fun within the walls of the house. All of this helps relieve stress, but the problem persists. As a result, the home becomes a pleasant and safe place, and life and relationships outside of it continue to deteriorate.

What to do: for a small child, a comfortable home environment is sufficient. However, as we grow, it becomes more and more important to create a good external environment for normal development. It is great if parents can support the child psychologically, but they must first of all look for solutions to problems, even if this requires sacrificing some of their personal comfort.

Parents have many problems of their own. This is why very often they do not pay due attention to the difficulties that their children are going through. It seems to them that these are temporary and not particularly important problems and that the child will cope with them on his own. Sometimes this is what actually happens. However, regularly ignoring problems can lead to the fact that the child withdraws into himself and will not share anything with you.

What to do: not all childhood problems require your intervention. It is best to keep abreast of what is happening in your child’s life and follow his development from the outside. This will help maintain the child’s trust and not miss a moment when a normal conflict can escalate into something more dangerous.