We have been taught to think that dating is subject to certain rules. If we follow them, we can interest a man and make him think that he has finally met his only one. But do we really have to artificially arouse interest in a man, must we follow the rules and not do what we really want?
Remember when you started dating a boy in high school and your best friend read you a long list of rules to remember? “Don’t call first”, “don’t kiss on the first date”, “don’t be too intrusive”. Favorite romantic comedies only confirmed these “rules” and taught us: you need to be cool, don’t bother with relationships, don’t bother him, and don’t go crazy. The best thing to do is to wait for the handsome prince, who will do everything himself. But dates are needed in order to find what you want. Forget the rules. Figure out what you want and what you need. Seven rules that should be forgotten long ago.
1. Don’t kiss on the first date. Usually on the first date, we try to get to know the person and understand whether it is worth going on a second date. But even in this situation, physical contact matters. Everyone has their own level of comfort. Some kiss before they even start dating, others wait a whole month to kiss their partner on the cheek. Rules should not determine the level of comfort in the physical plane. It’s up to you to decide whether to kiss on the first date or not. And whatever you choose won’t make you better or worse.
2. Wait for a man to pay for everything. Initially, paying the bill was associated with power. The men paid because the women did not work and had no source of income. But now we are working, energetic and empowered women who deserve equal partners. So why do we expect a man to pay for us? Pay half for dinner and for a taxi to get home. No wonder we wear trousers on a par with men.
3. Don’t agree to sex before the third date. Let’s drop all the rules that dictate what you can and cannot do with your body and what deadlines must be observed. If passion flared up, set your own rules. Whatever you do on your first, second, or third date will not affect your future as a good wife. If a man judges you for this, he is clearly not worth dating.
4. Do not introduce parents ahead of time. If you don’t want to introduce your potential partner to your parents or friends just yet, that’s fine. But if you happen to run into your mother at the mall, there’s no need to panic. In any case, we must be open about our desires and expectations from the relationship. Getting to know your parents or friends should not scare or embarrass your potential partner. Family and friends are a big and important part of our lives. If you don’t want to isolate them from a potential romantic partner, then don’t.
5. Do not believe in friendship between a man and a woman. If we stand for gender equality, this means that we should look at the opposite sex as a person as a whole. We can have fun with him, enjoy his company, talk and appreciate him without sexual and romantic overtones. Happy relationships do often begin with friendship. But if you enjoy spending time with a man and there is no spark between you, don’t write it off as just another failed romance. You may have found yourself a great friend.
6. Wait for him to make the first move. Taking the first step will save you a lot of time and energy. For example, you no longer have to sit with your phone in your hand and wait for it to ring. If you met a man who is not ready to meet a strong independent woman who knows exactly what she wants, you should not waste time on him.
7. Play impregnable. It seems to us that a partner who cares less about relationships has more power in them. But is it really the main thing in love – it’s power? Taking care of relationships is not bad, as we used to think. This is fine. We must take care of each other. So what difference does it make whether you are in a couple: “too strong” or the one who “cares more”? Be sincere in your feelings and desires. When you find someone you really care about, don’t pretend to be unapproachable.