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How to learn to manage anxiety and survive serious life upheavals? How useful are social connections? And is it possible to rekindle passion in a relationship? We offer you to get acquainted with book novelties that will answer a wide variety of questions.
family psychologist Elena Ulitova read a book for us
Anxiety Management, Kathleen Smith, Mann, Ivanov and Ferber
“Like many counseling psychologists, I often deal with anxious clients. They see the cause of anxiety in their loved ones and believe that only by changing them will they be able to finally live in peace. The psychotherapist has a difficult task: to help the client see his contribution to the relationship system.
How? Psychotherapist Kathleen Smith talks about this step by step. Based on Murray Bowen’s theory of family systems, she describes the ways we usually resort to coping with anxiety when something is not working out in a relationship. We distance ourselves from the partner (up to leaving); conflict with him we fulfill his duties, and we force him to do something for us; we involve third parties in order to establish relations with a partner without entering into direct interaction with him.
Kathleen Smith offers a strategy that is the opposite of all kinds of distancing: the relationship must be resolved in the relationship, trying other ways of behavior. For example, directly (but calmly, without entering into a quarrel) declare your desires and express an opinion.
In order to endure the anxiety that arises in this case, one should strengthen the state of the Adult in oneself and react from it, and not in accordance with the childish logic “if dad is in a bad mood, it means that he is unhappy with me, I’m bad.”
Sometimes we do this even in adulthood, mixing our feelings and our partner’s: he feels bad, which means I’m to blame. So we make ourselves responsible for the feelings of the other and try to change it so that it becomes easier. It doesn’t change and we suffer. But we can get out of this trap by strengthening our adult, real selves – by defining our values, realizing what is important. The book will be useful for both psychotherapists and anyone who wants to improve their relationships.
health
“Psychosomatics of gastrointestinal diseases”, Irina Malkina-Pykh, Publishing House of the Institute of Applied Social Technologies
Ulcers, diarrhea or colitis – the causes of these diseases are often to be found in the mental state of a person, his inability to stop self-criticism, survive a breakup, express resentment, anger or guilt. Irina Malkina-Pykh talks about the nature of psychosomatic diseases and offers two dozen methods and tests for working with these ailments.
psychotherapy
The Perfect Storm, Ekaterina Sigitova, Alpina Publisher
A painful breakup, a drastic change in lifestyle, financial loss – at such turning points, we are acutely aware of our vulnerability and the precariousness of a once stable world. You can’t stop the storm, but you can look for “detour ways”, which will help a step-by-step self-help program from psychotherapist Ekaterina Sigitova.
psychology
“Mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder and Their Children”, Christine Ann Lawson, Dialectic
To the unpredictable behavior of such mothers, children (even adults) have to constantly adapt. Christine Lawson identifies several types of women with BPD, analyzes the origins of their problems and suggests how to interact with them in order to maintain peace of mind.
society
“Social Intelligence”, Daniel Goleman, Corpus
Warm, supportive relationships, caring for the feelings of another is a powerful source of vitality. Realizing the importance of social abilities, the author of the concept of emotional intelligence decided to highlight them and consider them more closely, taking into account the latest achievements in the field of neuroscience.
sex
“A Love Worth Making” Steven Snyder, Bombora
The most common cause of intimate problems, according to sexologist Stephen Snyder, is not a difference in temperaments and not a lack of imagination, but a lack of acceptance (of a partner and oneself). Using recognizable stories as an example, he explains how to trust your feelings and return passion to relationships.
quote
“Mom, why is that?”, Anna Skavitina, Center for Humanitarian Initiatives
“Once upon a time, there were no scissors, and people bit off their nails so that they would not interfere with them … Some children and even adults continue to use their teeth when they are worried or when they are bored. They bite their nails, as if these are superfluous, bad thoughts or feelings and you need to get rid of them, ”Anna Skavitina explains to 4-year-old Katya why she bites her nails. For many years, the Jungian analyst answered questions from children in the pages of Psychologies. Her answers turned into a book.