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“I want to become happier” is a global request with which many come to therapy. But what is happiness for you personally? And what habits prevent you from reaching this state?
So what do we need to be happy? If we dig deeper, behind our answers in the spirit of “make enough to do everything” and “get married”, deeper values uXNUMXbuXNUMXbare revealed: for example, to stop suffering and worrying about the future, to begin to feel satisfaction from what we do.
Let’s look at habits that don’t seem to be harmful, but take us away from our cherished happiness.
1. Fill every day with a lot of things
The life of any adult consists of a mass of “shoulds”, of a variety of duties, from which there is no escape. Yes, and it is not necessary. But besides this, many of us take on tasks that should be abandoned.
We do this to feel needed, important, important, and busy. For many, overwork helps to vent their anxiety. For the time being it works, but sooner or later a person begins to experience exhaustion; both cognitive and emotional spheres suffer.
How to be? Conduct an “audit” of everything that you do on a daily basis, and try to remove all unnecessary responsibilities from yourself. Do only what is really necessary, important or enjoyable.
2. Communicate with negative people
Nobody argues: people are people, and it is difficult to suddenly stop communicating with a friend or relative simply because he constantly complains about life, criticizes everything around, or is generally pessimistic. It’s about learning to build boundaries and dose communication with such people.
To begin with, it is worth determining how communication with others affects your mood – for this, write down and analyze the feelings after each meeting with them.
3. Worry about the choices others make
Worrying about others, especially your children and elderly parents, is normal. But worrying about what others are doing takes too much of our energy. This is their business, their life and their choice.
There is an expression: “If you love – let go.” That is exactly what you should do. And if you do not love a person, then even more so – what’s the point of worrying?
4. Spend too much time on gadgets
Let’s be honest: most of us are “in a relationship” with our devices. Smartphones have long become our good buddies – they are with us around the clock. They give us what we want and ask for nothing in return. They make our lives more convenient and entertain us, and for that we are very grateful to them.
On the other hand, it is precisely because of immersion in the virtual world that we often experience anxiety, self-doubt, and a feeling of inner emptiness. We begin to think that everything around us is more successful and happier than us.
Nobody says that you need to “break” with all gadgets once and for all. But perhaps it’s time to move your relationship into an “open” format so that it doesn’t own you and your time entirely.
5. Count on others to make us happy
Of course, those around us can give us a helping hand, comfort and encourage us when we need it most. Being able to open up to another, friend or therapist, without the risk of being judged, is a great happiness.
And yet each of us needs to look for support in ourselves. Only in this way can we become less vulnerable and more resilient, which is so important in these uncertain times.
6. Worry about things we can’t control
The past, the future, politics, the economy, the rapidly deteriorating environmental situation, the words, actions and beliefs of others… There are a lot of things that we are not able to control, but that make us worry. It is certainly important to imagine what is happening around, but it is worth focusing on what is subject to us.
7. Build your life to please others
It is natural for most of us to crave approval and strive to make others, especially those we love, happy. But, adjusting our lives to others, striving to please them and thinking first of all about their needs, we forget about our interests and drive ourselves into a trap.
Life is one, and you need to live it in such a way as to make the main person happy – yourself.