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Who are you? Can you honestly and without hesitation answer this question – or are you still trying to figure it out? Everyone has several important signs that say a lot about him to others. By getting to know them better, we can understand how others see us and get to know ourselves better.
What many do not do, trying to give themselves an answer to the main question – who they really are: they go to a psychologist, study family history, pass numerous tests and fill out all sorts of questionnaires. All this is necessary, important and correct, but often we ignore the clues that are on the surface. Here are some of them.
1.Appearance
The way we look is an important clue to who we are, it is a reflection of our personality. Clothing and appearance in general tell a story about us – it remains only to figure out which one. Here’s a simple exercise: describe how you look in a few words.
Did you like what you heard? Does it reflect your inner world? If yes, great. If not, think about what exactly you would like to change, what traits you would like to reflect, and how you can do this.
Sometimes it’s enough to make minimal changes – change the haircut or hair color, the color scheme of clothes or the style of accessories – to completely transform.
2. Feeling yourself in space
Clinical psychologist Karen Nimmo tells how one day she decided to walk down the street with her client just to understand how he was feeling.
In her office, the man felt quite relaxed and calm, but, once on the street, he seemed to shrink, began to behave strangely and even reacted defiantly to the views of passers-by.
The way we walk and generally hold ourselves can tell a lot about us: whether or not we have self-confidence, for example. The good news is that by changing your behavior, you can change your self-image.
3. Attitude towards staff
Waiters in restaurants, receptionists, stewards – communication with them is very revealing. How do you behave with the people who serve you? Are you showing impatience? Are you passive aggressive? Are you flirting? Are you polite? Do you respect those you pay for services? People around you can tell a lot about you by watching you in similar situations.
4. The way you do what you love
Have you ever observed people who are genuinely passionate about their work? It seems that the rest of the world simply ceases to exist for them. They are collected, focused, attentive to every detail. And how does it happen for you?
If you could look at yourself, what would you see? Would you like what you see? A little life hack: even if you don’t have a real passion, try to put all of yourself into what you are doing, so you will get much more pleasure from the process.
5. Communication with those who are having a hard time
How do you deal with people who tell you about problems, especially those close to you? Can you listen and support, surround with warmth and attention? Or do you keep thinking about something else and stealthily glance at your watch?
6. Behavior in moments of vulnerability
Do you give free rein to your feelings? Are you crying out loud? Are you laughing your ass off? Tremble with impatience, lose your temper? The author, Karen Nimmo, recalls another client who did not laugh at all: he simply forbade himself from all emotions at the age of 13, when his mother died, and, even as an adult, was afraid to “throw off the armor.”
When, after a few months of work, the man nevertheless laughed, he was completely transformed. By his own admission, it was very strange, but it brought a lot of new pleasant sensations.
7. The way you deal with adversity
Life can be harsh: like a raging ocean, it sometimes tosses our boat on the waves, and sometimes it completely capsizes it.
What do you do in such cases? Freeze? Are you overreacting emotionally? Are you holding a grudge? Looking for revenge? Shut off from the whole world? Or maybe, on the contrary, support yourself and help yourself to rise? Gaining strength and starting all over again? Think about it.