7 facts about happiness

Over the years of research work and psychotherapeutic practice, I have been able to find out what makes us happy and how happy people behave. I hope that the facts I have collected will give you optimism and suggest what practical steps you can take on the path to happiness today.

1. Happy people experience a full range of emotions.

Trying to be happy every second is like typing text in all capital letters or singing a song as loud as possible – these actions are pointless and only bring annoyance. Life is full of trials and difficulties, and only those who have lost contact with reality can constantly have fun.

For example, if you’ve been through a tragedy and a friend doesn’t show empathy for the experience and advises you to cheer up, you’re more likely to see him as insensitive. You don’t want to be that way with yourself, do you?

If we stand firmly on our feet, live in the present and clearly feel what is happening around and inside us, the experiences will be adequate to the real situation. Happy people are good at adapting to what is happening and responding flexibly to changing situations. They don’t beat themselves up for sometimes feeling sad, angry, or afraid.

2. To become happy, it is useful to learn how to describe feelings.

Even if the experiences are unpleasant, by putting them into words, we can treat them with curiosity, and not with judgment.

For example, when we notice that we are angry, we may try to describe our experience, instead of simply “being angry because we are angry.” This allows us to take the position of “inner observer”, to distance ourselves from emotions that could otherwise make us do rash acts that we later regret.

3. We all express happiness in different ways.

Try not to compare yourself to others. Just because you don’t hum and laugh like your merry colleague doesn’t mean you’re unhappy, unless you tell yourself to be. Some people are happy with life and don’t want to show it. It is important to know yourself and understand what brings joy to you.

4. “Imagined Deprivation” Helps You Feel Happier

We tend to take everything good in life for granted. Try to imagine that you have lost something or someone very important to you. We can talk about a spouse, pets, and even such trifles as chocolate. Try to imagine in detail your life without it. This exercise helps you learn to appreciate what you have more.

5. Spending money on others makes us happier.

The results of one study show that employees who received an annual bonus and spent money not on themselves, but on others (including charity), feel happier than the rest. In another, two groups of subjects were given a small amount of money (between $5 and $20), with the first group having to spend it on themselves and the second on others. At the end of the experiment, subjects from the second group felt happier than those who spent money on themselves.

When we share with others, everyone benefits, especially if we ourselves decide to help others, establish contact with them and see what result our efforts bring. For example, if you decide to donate a gift to an orphan through a charitable foundation, this sign of attention will be especially significant for you if you start a correspondence with this child.

6. Happiness in action

Neuroscientist Richard Davidson argues that the key to happiness and well-being lies in active action and a conscious decision to change the way you look at a situation. Given our natural propensity for negative thinking (we tend to pay attention to potential threats rather than pleasant experiences), achieving happiness will require conscious work.

Perhaps we should consider happiness not as something natural that comes by itself, but as a skill that needs to be trained. In this way, we can begin to develop good habits and master techniques that will help us feel happier and more prosperous. Happiness is our relationship with life, and any relationship requires attention and care.

7. “Baseline” happiness can be changed

After any major changes, both positive and negative, we usually quickly return to our usual level of happiness. Unaware of this peculiarity of ours, we often begin to blame other people or circumstances for our experiences, and as a result we can get divorced, quit our job or drop out of school. Instead, we should pay more attention to relationships with a partner, develop a more constructive approach to work, or take a more thorough approach to our education.

Of course, this will only work if our choice of spouse, job, or education was well thought out and we didn’t have new information that would make us rethink it.

In any case, if you are unhappy with your emotional state, you can try to increase your “baseline” happiness using the ideas mentioned above.