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We are often in no hurry to ask others for a favor: we are embarrassed or we are afraid of being rejected. Simple tips will make life easier and make others want to help you.
You can apply these tips to your family, work, friends, or strangers.
So here’s what you need to do to get help:
1. Show that you tried to help yourself, but failed.
People are more likely to come to the rescue of someone who has tried to solve the problem on their own before asking for help: “I tried to google …”, “I tried to restart the computer …” Keep the request concise and concise – imagine you are writing a list, and be specific.
2. Show that you have followed this person’s advice in the past.
It is not very pleasant to give advice and see that it is ignored and everyone does it their own way. No wonder people only want to help those they have confidence in. Why would they put in effort and waste time? Therefore, when you receive help from someone you plan to turn to more than once in the future, make sure of the main thing: he knows that you acted according to his previous advice and appreciated them.
3. Plan your request time
The most convenient option is to limit the time of assistance. For example, you may stipulate that you will only help your friends and loved ones from 7 to 8 pm. Thus, your working day will not be disturbed, and you will not have to do business five minutes before bedtime.
This system also works in reverse: if you don’t know when to ask a person for help, ask them directly about the timing. Instead of saying, “I would like to ask you for help,” ask, “What is the best time for you to talk to me about this?”
4. Take advantage of every opportunity
If you are calling a customer service company, you may need to try several options at once to get the desired result. For example, use not only the phone, but also chat, messaging, face-to-face meetings and social networks, depending on the situation. And that’s how it works with everything.
5. Use foot-in-the-door or door-to-face techniques
These tactics, in fact, help to manipulate people, so they need to be used carefully. The Foot in the Door Technique – You make a small request that you definitely won’t be denied, and then ask for something more serious.
The door-to-face technique works in reverse. When a big request is denied, you immediately ask for a smaller favor that seems more reasonable than the previous request. Because of this, the person feels guilty and tries to help.
For example, you ask a friend: “Could you give me a car ride to the center?” He says no. Then you continue: “And to the nearest subway?” This method is based on a socio-psychological phenomenon – people tend to make concessions and agree to an unattractive offer if it is made immediately after they have refused another, more burdensome request.
6. Don’t let others guess if you need help
When making a request, make sure the person knows exactly what you want from them. For example, if you need your spouse to show you what to do, and not just explain in words, ask for that.
There are times when you want someone to spontaneously offer to help, like when you’re dragging a heavy suitcase up the steps of the subway. But you can ask for help yourself. Don’t be shy: the more often you practice this, the easier it will be to do it in the future.
Sometimes strangers are too shy to offer help or are too busy thinking about it and don’t know you need it. You have noticed that when we provide a service or do something nice to strangers, it improves our mood. So by calling on someone for help, you are giving them the opportunity to become a little happier.
7. Help yourself
Are you the kind of person who offers or gives help to others more often than he asks for it himself? Then you are much more likely to get help. Spouses, for example, tend to overestimate their contribution to the relationship. And if you think you’re helping your partner more than he is helping you, you’re more likely to get help for him than you are to provide it yourself.