Contents
- 1. “Motivation and personality.” Abraham Maslow
- 2. “Games that people play.” Eric Bern
- 3. “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” Stephen Covey
- 4. “Identity: Youth and Crisis”. Eric Erickson
- 5. “Public animal. Introduction to Social Psychology”. Elliot Aronson
- 6. “Little children and their mothers.” Donald Woods Winnicott
- 7. “Say yes to life!” Viktor Frankl
- About expert
We continue the series of publications “7 books for the first acquaintance with psychology.” We asked our experts to compile the lists in such a way that they included books on self-development, on child and / or family psychology, on issues of social relations and problems in couples. We present you the choice of psychologist Galiya Nigmetzhanova.
Of course, there are many more such books. And yet: where is it better to start your acquaintance with psychology for someone who is not going to devote his life to this science? Anyone who discovers the world of human relationships and wants to better understand themselves and their loved ones?
1. “Motivation and personality.” Abraham Maslow
A classic, fundamental work on self-actualization, values and choice, presenting a positive and holistic view of human nature. Abraham Maslow, the founder of humanistic psychology, describes his understanding of the structure of personality and motivational mechanisms in modern man. According to his hierarchical theory, a person from birth sequentially has seven classes of needs: physiological, emotional, cognitive. At the top of the “pyramid” are aesthetic needs and the desire for self-actualization. Maslow insists that only the person who does not run away from responsibility and freely makes life choices is capable of achieving authenticity, authenticity. (Peter, 2016)
2. “Games that people play.” Eric Bern
I am not a fan of transactional analysis, but I must admit that Eric Berne phenomenologically saw the simple logic of human relationships. Sooner or later, a person notices for himself (and for others) repetitive behavioral reactions in response to certain statements, situations, intonation, etc. Eric Berne summarized some of these stereotyped reactions, singled out their main features, and gave apt names. In fact, these “games” of people are surrogates for truly close, sincere relationships, often blocking the path for us to genuine relationships. Berne’s book forces the reader to look for stereotyped behavioral surrogates in his personal history of relationships with others, to look at these stereotypes from the outside, to be surprised at the accuracy of the description, the metaphorical formulations. And, most importantly for me, Eric Berne seems to put up warning flags: “Beware! It’s a game. This is not a real relationship.” Maybe it’s not so easy to get out of the playing role. But look, for example, at children: they manage to quickly get out of the game situation and again become themselves, real. (Eksmo, 2016)
3. “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” Stephen Covey
The title has the word “skill”. But surprisingly, the whole book is precisely anti-skill (if by habit one understands the behavior formed as a result of training or training). Stephen Covey succinctly and vividly shows how you can build trusting relationships with others without using the skills of influencing people like the notorious “smile more often” or “be able to properly build the distance between you and the interlocutor in a conversation.” These are the right skills, they should also be taken into account, but the most important thing for Covey is with what inner attitude, with what deep attitude you come into contact with another person. A book about it. About the ability not only to listen, but also to hear. About a real interest in another. Covey seems to speak to us in the language familiar to business people (set priorities, everyone can win), but in essence returns us to deep values, reminds us of respect for the inner world of a person. (Alpina Publisher, 2017)
4. “Identity: Youth and Crisis”. Eric Erickson
Our life can be described in the form of successive stages of personal development – such an approach was proposed in the early 60s of the last century by the largest American psychologist Eric Erickson. Moving to a new age stage, we change, acquire new tastes, set ourselves other goals. In order for the transition to go smoothly, without regrets, it is worth living each period to the fullest, paying attention to what gives us pleasure, and discovering new facets in ourselves. In this book, Erickson perfectly explains what childhood is made of, why this stage is important in a person’s life, what are the mechanisms for the formation of identity, and what are age crises. (Flinta, 2006)
5. “Public animal. Introduction to Social Psychology”. Elliot Aronson
Elliot Aronson wrote this paper for students who are about to get their first exposure to social psychology. He defined its tasks simply: social psychology studies the mechanisms of influence on people, as well as factors that make it possible to strengthen or weaken this influence. Aronson exposed the rigid logic of building social interaction and the mechanisms of manipulative influence that must be recognized in social relations. He did it in a lively, exciting way, drawing on a lot of data from scientific experiments. And most importantly, he presented it all from a pragmatic point of view. Of course, it is worth considering that the book was written in 1972 (it reached us rather late). But many realities of social influence (massive advertising, work with clients, formation of loyalty to the principles of a particular company) appeared in our country not so long ago. So the content of the book is still curious and relevant. (Prime-Eurosign, 2006)
6. “Little children and their mothers.” Donald Woods Winnicott
A brochure that can be a desktop for all parents. Winnicott not only describes the basic principles of the relationship between parents and children, but also gives great therapeutic support to all mothers, reminding that the main task of parents is simply to be close to the child, to be in contact with him. Winnicott writes very simply, short and deep. With the greatest respect for motherhood. With recognition of the priority of maternal intuition. With an analysis of the usual situations familiar to every mother. Perhaps this is the smallest book on parenthood that I have ever held in my hands, but so necessary. Merciful. Real. It is a pity that Winnicott does not have the same conversations with his fathers – they would be very much in demand today. (Class, 2016)
7. “Say yes to life!” Viktor Frankl
The psychological theory of meaning, which the Austrian philosopher and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl formulated before the Second World War, was severely tested by the Nazi concentration camps in which the scientist found himself in 1942-1945. Frankl described his experience of being there in this book. It has become a stunning testimony to the strength and capabilities of the human spirit and confirmation that it is vital for a person to find meaning for his own existence. With this meaning, we are able to overcome the limitations of our biological nature, social and domestic environment. (Alpina non-fiction, 2016)
About expert
Galiya Nigmetzhanova, child psychologist, lecturer at Moscow State University M.V. Lomonosov, leading specialist of the Moscow psychological center for family support “Contact”.
Dmitry Leontiev, permanent expert of Psychologies, head of the International Laboratory for Positive Psychology of Personality and Motivation at the National Research University Higher School of Economics, also advises which books to start getting acquainted with psychology and yourself. His recommendations in the article 7 books for the first acquaintance with psychology. Choice of Dmitry Leontiev