6 ways to motivate your child

We want the child to show interest, but interest in what? We want it to do something, but what exactly? “Anything to avoid sitting in front of the TV” is not the best answer. Alan Kazdin, Ph.D., director of the Yale Parenting Center and Child Care Clinic, provides some tips on how we can help children get interested in something.

1. Set a goal

Make a clear list of activities that you would like to involve your child in. A great option is the so-called “trial lessons”. The child could get an idea about things like dancing, sports, musical instruments, science, gardening. You will understand what exactly arouses the interest of the child, what could be studied more deeply.

She loves animals? Does he love martial arts movies? Why? Try to figure out as clearly as possible what the essence of the possible interest is. She may end up volunteering, say, at an animal shelter or learning to ride a horse. And he might want to learn more about kung fu or how to make movies.

2. Set requirements

It is very helpful to establish reasonable and not too difficult requirements for the child as early as possible. For example, agree on things that he must do at home. This will not help you much in the household, but it will be extremely useful for relationships. And it’s much easier for a child to understand what you expect from him.

Motivation can be developed like any habit. When you constantly expect your child to perform some kind of responsibilities, which increase with age, it teaches him to think that being active and participating in life is completely normal. This awareness can be a powerful force against passivity and loss of interest.

3. Show by example

Parents are often prone to teaching and moralizing conversations and pay much less attention to the opportunity to influence their children by their own example. But it is the personal example of parents that is especially important. You can use your own life model to develop your child’s character, interests, and motivation.

For example, if you like to do something outside the home, then if possible, take it with you. Museums, social or political events, sports, volunteering – it doesn’t matter what. The main thing is that you have fun. Taking a child with you, you, firstly, motivate him, and secondly, strengthen your relationship.

Of course, doing common household chores together, such as grocery shopping, cleaning, also serve this purpose. But now we are talking about something else: to involve the child in activities that will help him determine his own interests, develop skills, gain knowledge and skills. They fuel his desire to do something outside the home. And your direct participation influences its perception.

4. Develop skills

Many skills can be developed in a child without a personal example. But it is important to help him acquire new knowledge and skills, to introduce him to new activities. Perhaps he will be doing something for many more years and this will bear fruit in the form of his social involvement.

For example, music lessons are not only learning to play a musical instrument. Participating in concerts, the school orchestra, he will make new acquaintances from among the musicians, and this will motivate him to develop.

5. Giving hidden clues

How to persuade a passive child to show interest in at least something? This should be done carefully, in no case pressing, using any opportunity. We often do not even realize those little things and details that affect our decisions and actions. The brain is constantly busy processing information, and most often this happens at an unconscious level.

“During the research, we observed how the scanned brain reacts to certain stimuli, but the object of the study is usually the question “What happened?” answered: “Nothing,” says Alan Kazdin. “During our research, we also found that if a prompt is shown too quickly for the subject to notice it, then the subconscious mind still uses it to make decisions. For example, the slight smell of detergent makes people start cleaning up their desks. But if you ask them why they did it, they will not tell you about the smell, but rather give some convincing arguments that are completely unrelated to it.

Books, magazines, a musical instrument ready to play… Keep these (motivational) items in your child’s line of sight at all times. It does not require much effort, just let them lie where they are very easy to see. This technique promises a serious result, but it is important to allow the child to interact with such hooks.

Just imagine: the daughter just glanced at the magazine, and you are already bursting into the room and start exclaiming: “Oh, have you seen these photos? They are amazing, right? I booked us a ticket to go there for the weekend!” Most likely, this will kill all interest. Let your child figure out what to do with this hold. Use the power of personal example to subtly show how it’s done.

6. Encourage communication

Reward your child when he invites friends home. Then your home will become a central place and will influence the child for a long time. By the time they reach adolescence, children often separate you from their friends. But if you are ready to accept his new world, you have a chance to avoid such rejection. In addition, you can watch him and protect him without treating him like a child.

In this case, it is also easier for a teenager to resist when peers exert a negative influence on him. If you plan to do something outside the home, let your child invite friends over. Gradually, the need for your participation will disappear, because the child will begin to choose where to go, he will have his own preferences.

If you accept his friends into your family, then you will take the first step towards maintaining close relationships for many years to come, without suppressing him and forcing him to choose between you and communication with peers.