6 Ways to Maintain Sexual Attraction in a Long-term Relationship

Romantic relationships are based on erotic attraction, the desire for a loving fusion with another and the desire to express to him the excitement and delight that his presence causes. The exchange of such experiences maintains and strengthens the bond in the couple. Will this sensual thrill disappear with time?

Yes, there is such a danger. However, family psychologist Anna Koteneva believes that it can be avoided: “Attraction does not have to fade away. It can be maintained, it can be mended, it can be rebooted.” To do this, she offers women six sensual practices.

1. Create an erotic atmosphere

Spontaneity is wonderful. But it happens that one in a couple feels desire, while the other is not yet ready. How to be? Prepare both of you by planning a love game scenario and creating the right setting.

How?

• Make sure that the environment is conducive to sensual communication: fragrances for the home, diffused lighting, soft or flowing fabrics … anticipation and anticipation;
• Prepare, for example, by massaging yourself with oil and imagining his hands on your body;
• Lie together on the bed, undressing, but not touching each other. Close your eyes and imagine making love;
• Open your eyes and tell each other, forgetting about decency, about your experiences, dreams and desires. About what you imagined and what could be done;
• Sitting opposite each other, try to coordinate your breathing.

What for?

We are used to rushing, but making love is not something that needs to be finished quickly. On the contrary, this is a time for thoughtfulness and attention to yourself. By preparing, we can become more fully imbued with sensations – and they can be the most unexpected and exciting.

Allow yourself not to rush things, but to enjoy them, savoring minute after minute, experiencing all the shades of feelings. As a result, the pleasure will not become stronger, but it will be more unexpected. And surprise in sex is one of the best means that can support the mutual attraction of partners.

2. dare to fantasize

We all have outer erogenous zones, but we also have an inner richness – erotic imagination. Having sexual fantasies is natural, necessary and useful. They are able to tell about what is hidden in the mysterious depths of our soul. Fantasy is a special, invisible, strong and responsive erogenous zone.

How?

• Write down five fantasies, from simple to bizarre;
• Tell about one to whom you want;
• Implement three of them with a partner;
• Ask one of your friends about the rest: did something similar occur to her? Having talked about this, you will understand that fantasies are not alien to a lot more people than you might think;
• Find three new fantasies that are fun and exciting.

What for?

Fantasies, imagined sexual scenarios, are powerful activators of desire. Being the result of unconscious aspirations, they do not obey the laws of decency and can surprise, even frighten. That is why, knowing our fantasies, we better understand what we really are. However, it is not necessary to implement them in practice. You can play with them, share with a partner or keep them for yourself. And the introduction of fantasies, even if partial, into sex gives it a unique flavor.

3. release the body to freedom

The body is the instrument for turning desire into pleasure. Do not limit him, let his natural sensuality unfold.

How?

• When you look in the mirror, imagine how someone else is looking at you. Remember your fantasies and submit to their energies;
• What animal do you associate with sexuality? How does it move, how does it sound? Picture it. Roar! Purr! Feel and accumulate your wild animal power;
• Dress sexy (which doesn’t mean outrageous) and take an afternoon stroll. Notice the excited looks directed at you. Remember and keep a sense of your strength and power.

What for?

Discovering the animal side of the body, we give rest to the brain. Therefore, we are pleased to open our body to the gaze (this applies to both women and men), hinting at the possibility of pleasure and at the same time maintaining control over the situation. This is a way of liberation.

4. find the G-spot

It is named after the sexologist Ernst Grafenberg, who discovered it, and in fact it is not a point, but an area of ​​sensitive tissue. It is located on the front wall of the vagina and, when stimulated by the penis or fingers, greatly increases in size and causes intense sexual sensations. Exploring our intimate anatomy, we discover new sensual possibilities.

How?

• Start with the clitoris. Take a look at him with the help of a mirror slowly, as your accomplice and assistant. Learn to get excited. 1-2 times a day, for 5-10 minutes, just caress the clitoris area, and that’s it. At the same time, fantasies and viewing erotic or porn films are not forbidden;
• Then go in search of your G-spot, alone or as a couple. Feel and remember it – it is located under the pubic bone, this is a slightly bumpy part, similar to the touch of an orange peel. Enjoy this revelation;
• Continue the unique research available to you alone. From the discoveries that await you in dialogue with the body, your unique sexuality is born.

What for?

If we know ourselves well, we can help others understand us better. Delicate research alone or together brings invaluable benefits: thanks to it, the body begins to exist in reality and takes its rightful place in the representation of our “I”. All women need to develop a calm, without false modesty, attitude towards the intimate parts of their bodies. This is a study of its uniqueness.

5. Seduce and dominate

It is very important to know and appreciate your body, but it is equally important to comprehend the body of a partner, learn to love him, watch him, enjoy being around him.

How?

• Examine your partner’s body. Blindfold his eyes (you can also use your hands, just be careful!) and go on a journey through his skin – with your hands, tongue, feathers, affectionate words;
• Time doesn’t matter here. The space is open before you. You are now the queen and mistress in the realm of his body;
• Try to influence your partner only visually. Tie him to the bed and show him the hottest striptease ever! Feel the strength of his desire and how he turns on the inability to touch you!

What for?

Feeling your erotic power is a special pleasure. Play with the sensations of the other and your own, get a pass to a world where sexuality turns into limitless creativity.

There is a so-called “plateau phase” in the sexual act. It precedes orgasm and delivers the most pleasure. It can be achieved purely speculatively, for example, through visual stimuli. By keeping a partner in a state of “plateau phase”, there is no doubt that we are keeping him at the peak of pleasure.

6. Prolong pleasure

In a full and intense sexual contact, the most difficult thing is to accept the fact that it has its end. But what if you find a way to prolong the moment of passion?

How?

After having sex, instead of taking on another activity, linger in its atmosphere for a while. For this you can, for example:

• telling each other what you just went through, as if it were a whole epic;
• retain odors on the skin;
• write a poem;
• stay in contact with the partner’s body, gently massaging it;
• listen to your favorite music;
• closing your eyes, mentally revive the sensations that have just dissipated.

What for?

For many, lovemaking ends with orgasm. It is a model embedded in our collective unconscious. But to think that orgasm is the end of sexual contact is to neglect the wonderful moments of the so-called postlude, or completion, when strong emotions continue to possess us.

This phase is given to us in order to prolong desire, to allow it to take other, more tender and restrained forms, and to lay the foundation for a new moment of excitement.

In addition, the final phase helps to get out of the sphere of passion and return to rational communication. It combines impulse and philosophy, cries and whispers, nature and culture. It is at this time that two can truly feel like one.